Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 19:24:15 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: pssst
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Ticho leci :-)
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
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Hlavacku, nevyrusujte. Nevidite, ze tu jsme vsichni hluboce zamysleni? Zatim
si zalezte nekam do kouta, listujte si v ceske gramatice, pak si po sobe
prectete sve maily, opravte si v nich hrubky a az to vsechno zvladnete, zase
se nam ozvete. Uz se vsichni moc tesime.
Milan Hubacek
>Ticho leci :-)
>
>Bohous
>
>
>Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 17:56:36 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: pssst
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On Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>Hlavacku, nevyrusujte.
Pane Hubacku,
vas ton je sice typicky pro nekolik ucastniku tehle
konference, kteri si mysli, ze kdyz umi lip cesky tak
ze maji vetsi pravo do konference psat. Myslim si, ze
to ale neni nazor vetsiny ucastniku konference. Kdyz se
takhle bude kazdemu prikazovat jak a o cem muze psat,
tak se potom nedivte, ze vetsina prihlasenych jenom
mlci a boji se pipnout.
Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
ani nebyl Cech.
Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
Bohous Hlavacek
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 21:12:49 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Vojta Slama
Subject: Re: pssst
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Sdilim kolego vas nazor. Ja mel z cestiny vzdy trojky.
Ale pisu !!!!
Vojta Slama
-----Původní zpráva-----
>Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
>a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
>sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
>Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
>asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
>
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 15:59:16 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To:
Mime-Version: 1.0
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At 05:56 PM 09/08/1999 +0100, Bohumil Hlavacek wrote
>On Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>>Hlavacku, nevyrusujte.
>
>Pane Hubacku,
>
>vas ton je sice typicky pro nekolik ucastniku tehle
>konference, kteri si mysli, ze kdyz umi lip cesky tak
>ze maji vetsi pravo do konference psat. Myslim si, ze
>to ale neni nazor vetsiny ucastniku konference. Kdyz se
>takhle bude kazdemu prikazovat jak a o cem muze psat,
>tak se potom nedivte, ze vetsina prihlasenych jenom
>mlci a boji se pipnout.
To delaji dobre - ridi se jednim z Cimrmanovych bonmotu:
KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
Tento bonmot jasne vychazel z premisy ze s nekterymi zivly neni mozno
udelat nic lepsiho, nez je proste nakopat do prdele.
>
>Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
>jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
>pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
>ani nebyl Cech.
Nerad ti takhle nicim idealy - ale Jara da Cimrman nebyl Cech. Prostuduj si
trochu historii a zjistis, ze Jara se narodil ve Vidni, a v Cechach pobyval
jen velmi kratkou (byt vyznamnou) dobu, pred tim nez emigroval do Ameriky
(jako vsechny vyznamne osobnosti kultury, vedy a techniky). Ano, Jara
zjistil, ze je vlastne American, ktery se jen shodou okolnosti narodil ve
Vidni, navic byl omylem povazovan za Cecha, a
proto se rozhodl vratit se domu do Ameriky s pouzitim "hrebik, zapichnuty
v prostoru" efektu. Jara vzdycky byl American a vlastne ani neni jiste, zda
v Cechach a v Rakousku vubec byl! Podle nekterych teorii - vcetne mych
vlastnich = cele ono "Cimrmanovske hnuti" zorganizoval Jara sam a to
naprosto dalkove s pouzitim masovych sdelovacich prostredku rakouskuch c.k.
postovnich uradu a postovniho uradu v Hunstville, Alabama. Jara cele tohle
zorganizoval v ramci vedecke vyzkumu a pripravy jeho vlastni teorie
"super-mystificace". Tudiz cele dnesni Cimrmanovske hnuti je jen reziduem
Cimrmanova dalkove provedeneho a do detailu vypracovaneho vedeckeho pokusu
na nic netusicim ceskem obyvatelstvu a poblouznenych intelektualech - Jara
vse ridil z dalky jak ministr valky, a nikdy nebylo treba aby osobne
vstoupil na uzemi Rakouska-Uherska. Jara da Cimrman, pravy jmenem Jerry
Zimmerman, americky vedec a myslitel, nikdy v Cesku nebyl, proto tim padem
odtamtud ani nemohl nikdy zmizet. Proto jeho zmizeni bylo tak dokonale a
obycejnym lidem nevysvetlitelne.
Uz to chapete? Pri vasem vzdelani???
>Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
>a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
>sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
Drobnou chybu klidne - ale psat jak uplny diliny byste taky nemuseli, vy
ynzynyri.
>Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
>asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
Hlavacku:
Citat:
KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
>
>Bohous Hlavacek
Rosta
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 09:04:25 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
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>On Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>>Hlavacku, nevyrusujte.
>
>Pane Hubacku,
>
>vas ton je sice typicky pro nekolik ucastniku tehle
>konference, kteri si mysli, ze kdyz umi lip cesky tak
>ze maji vetsi pravo do konference psat. Myslim si, ze
>to ale neni nazor vetsiny ucastniku konference. Kdyz se
>takhle bude kazdemu prikazovat jak a o cem muze psat,
>tak se potom nedivte, ze vetsina prihlasenych jenom
>mlci a boji se pipnout.
>
>Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
>jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
>pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
>ani nebyl Cech.
>
>Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
>a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
>sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
>Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
>asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
>
>Bohous Hlavacek
Kolego Hlavacku,
cimrmanologicka konference sice neni soutez v ceskem jazyce, ale jista
elementarni pravidla by se dodrzovat mela. Vzdyt i Jara Cimrman (rodem
Videnak) se udajne naucil cesky temer plynuje. Pravda, zrejme az v
pokrocilem veku. Takze neodhazujte rucnici do obili, jeste neni nic
ztraceno.
Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
Hodne kuraze pri badani ve sferach cimrmanologickych i v dosud tajemnych
zakoutich ceskeho jazyka preje
Milan Hubacek
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 09:36:01 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="windows-1250"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
>To delaji dobre - ridi se jednim z Cimrmanovych bonmotu:
>KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
>
>Rosta
>
To dost dobre nejde, Rosto. Ona totiz ne Amerika, ale Cesko je zemi
neomezenych moznosti. A tak muzeme cist i toto:
>Sdilim kolego vas nazor. Ja mel z cestiny vzdy trojky.
>Ale pisu !!!!
>
>Vojta Slama
A tak to mas se vsim. Podivej se, kdo v Cesku ridil a ridi politiku nebo
hospodarstvi. Tohle je pravou pricinou postaveni Prahy mezi svetovymi
velkomesty co do vyse vydelku, jak jsi komentoval v cs-clubu (At zije Vaclav
Klaus! Urrraaaaa!) Anebo vysoke nehodovosti na ceskych silnicich. Tak proc
by zrovna psani melo byt vyjimkou?
Milan Hubacek
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 07:18:05 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Vous, Vojta Slama, avez écrit ceci:
>Sdilim kolego vas nazor. Ja mel z cestiny vzdy trojky.
>Ale pisu !!!!
A kolik lidi vubec neumi plno dalsich dulezitych veci, a podivejte
jaka je porodnost.
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 07:18:03 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Vous, Bohumil Hlavacek, avez écrit ceci:
>Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
>jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
>pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
>ani nebyl Cech.
A nemyslite vazeny pane, ze kdyz se o JDC bude psat jen
z Ceska, tak by si nekdo mohl myslet, ze nebyl svetak,
ale maly cesky mlaomestacek?
Dale, nemyslite ze se stejne nepozna, z ktereho mista
kdo pise? Nemluvic o tom, ze kdyz se o nem bude psat z
Budejovic, ze by si nekdo mohl myslet, ze JDC ani nebyl z
Liptakova, ale, ze se v podstate jedna o zamenu osoby?
Nakonec totiz by se mohlo stat, ze o Cimrmanovi bude
mozne psat jen pokud dotycny pisatel bude sedet v Liptakovske
hospode, a ze musi jeste mit ceske obcanstvi a trvaly pobyt
ve Vychodnich Cechach?
To jde daleko a vase myslenka je zajimava. Nevi nekdo, zda
je na prodej nejaka hodpoda v Liptakove?
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 07:37:30 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tomas Vitek
Organization: SPSSE, Liberec
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
Hahaha - Ynteligentni Rostik se nam zase projevil .. bozinku, maminko
ja chci domu...
Tom
> At 05:56 PM 09/08/1999 +0100, Bohumil Hlavacek wrote
> >On Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 Milan Hubacek wrote:
> >>Hlavacku, nevyrusujte.
> >
> >Pane Hubacku,
> >
> >vas ton je sice typicky pro nekolik ucastniku tehle
> >konference, kteri si mysli, ze kdyz umi lip cesky tak
> >ze maji vetsi pravo do konference psat. Myslim si, ze
> >to ale neni nazor vetsiny ucastniku konference. Kdyz se
> >takhle bude kazdemu prikazovat jak a o cem muze psat,
> >tak se potom nedivte, ze vetsina prihlasenych jenom
> >mlci a boji se pipnout.
>
> To delaji dobre - ridi se jednim z Cimrmanovych bonmotu:
> KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
>
> Tento bonmot jasne vychazel z premisy ze s nekterymi zivly neni mozno
> udelat nic lepsiho, nez je proste nakopat do prdele.
> >
> >Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
> >jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
> >pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
> >ani nebyl Cech.
>
> Nerad ti takhle nicim idealy - ale Jara da Cimrman nebyl Cech. Prostuduj si
> trochu historii a zjistis, ze Jara se narodil ve Vidni, a v Cechach pobyval
> jen velmi kratkou (byt vyznamnou) dobu, pred tim nez emigroval do Ameriky
> (jako vsechny vyznamne osobnosti kultury, vedy a techniky). Ano, Jara
> zjistil, ze je vlastne American, ktery se jen shodou okolnosti narodil ve
> Vidni, navic byl omylem povazovan za Cecha, a
> proto se rozhodl vratit se domu do Ameriky s pouzitim "hrebik, zapichnuty
> v prostoru" efektu. Jara vzdycky byl American a vlastne ani neni jiste, zda
> v Cechach a v Rakousku vubec byl! Podle nekterych teorii - vcetne mych
> vlastnich = cele ono "Cimrmanovske hnuti" zorganizoval Jara sam a to
> naprosto dalkove s pouzitim masovych sdelovacich prostredku rakouskuch c.k.
> postovnich uradu a postovniho uradu v Hunstville, Alabama. Jara cele tohle
> zorganizoval v ramci vedecke vyzkumu a pripravy jeho vlastni teorie
> "super-mystificace". Tudiz cele dnesni Cimrmanovske hnuti je jen reziduem
> Cimrmanova dalkove provedeneho a do detailu vypracovaneho vedeckeho pokusu
> na nic netusicim ceskem obyvatelstvu a poblouznenych intelektualech - Jara
> vse ridil z dalky jak ministr valky, a nikdy nebylo treba aby osobne
> vstoupil na uzemi Rakouska-Uherska. Jara da Cimrman, pravy jmenem Jerry
> Zimmerman, americky vedec a myslitel, nikdy v Cesku nebyl, proto tim padem
> odtamtud ani nemohl nikdy zmizet. Proto jeho zmizeni bylo tak dokonale a
> obycejnym lidem nevysvetlitelne.
>
> Uz to chapete? Pri vasem vzdelani???
>
> >Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
> >a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
> >sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
>
> Drobnou chybu klidne - ale psat jak uplny diliny byste taky nemuseli, vy
> ynzynyri.
>
> >Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
> >asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
>
> Hlavacku:
>
> Citat:
> KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
>
>
> >
> >Bohous Hlavacek
>
> Rosta
>
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 08:14:06 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Ross Hedvicek wrote:
> >
> >Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
> >jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
> >pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
> >ani nebyl Cech.
>
> Nerad ti takhle nicim idealy - ale Jara da Cimrman nebyl Cech. Prostuduj si
> trochu historii a zjistis, ze Jara se narodil ve Vidni, a v Cechach pobyval
> jen velmi kratkou (byt vyznamnou) dobu, pred tim nez emigroval do Ameriky
> (jako vsechny vyznamne osobnosti kultury, vedy a techniky). Ano, Jara
> zjistil, ze je vlastne American, ktery se jen shodou okolnosti narodil ve
> Vidni, navic byl omylem povazovan za Cecha, a
> proto se rozhodl vratit se domu do Ameriky s pouzitim "hrebik, zapichnuty
> v prostoru" efektu. Jara vzdycky byl American a vlastne ani neni jiste, zda
> v Cechach a v Rakousku vubec byl! Podle nekterych teorii - vcetne mych
> vlastnich = cele ono "Cimrmanovske hnuti" zorganizoval Jara sam a to
> naprosto dalkove s pouzitim masovych sdelovacich prostredku rakouskuch c.k.
> postovnich uradu a postovniho uradu v Hunstville, Alabama. Jara cele tohle
> zorganizoval v ramci vedecke vyzkumu a pripravy jeho vlastni teorie
> "super-mystificace". Tudiz cele dnesni Cimrmanovske hnuti je jen reziduem
> Cimrmanova dalkove provedeneho a do detailu vypracovaneho vedeckeho pokusu
> na nic netusicim ceskem obyvatelstvu a poblouznenych intelektualech - Jara
> vse ridil z dalky jak ministr valky, a nikdy nebylo treba aby osobne
> vstoupil na uzemi Rakouska-Uherska. Jara da Cimrman, pravy jmenem Jerry
> Zimmerman, americky vedec a myslitel, nikdy v Cesku nebyl, proto tim padem
> odtamtud ani nemohl nikdy zmizet. Proto jeho zmizeni bylo tak dokonale a
> obycejnym lidem nevysvetlitelne.
>
> >
> >Bohous Hlavacek
>
> Rosta
Toto je typicky Hedvicek. Uz mu nestaci plivat na vsechno ceske,
uz se pokousi ukrast nam nase narodni hrdiny, na ktere jsme
pravem hrdi, at uz existovali, ci ne. Priste se dozvime, ze
Praotec Cech vlastne nebyl Cech, ze nebyl Cechem Svaty Vaclav,
Karel IV., Rudolf II., Frantisek Palacky, Karel Capek, Bozena Nemcova,
Josef Svejk, Antonin Dvorak, W.A. Mozart, Frantz Kafka,
J.A. Komensky, Albert Einstein a dalsi velikani nasich dejin,
na ktere jsme pravem hrdi.
Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
je tak zaostaly a bude pozadovat dukazy, neni problem, aby
Bastuv tym neco pripravil, jen jim dejte trochu casu, tenhle
mesic presvihli rozpocet na papir do kopirky.
HonzaM
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 08:50:48 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tereza
Organization: Gymnazium dr. K.Polesneho, Znojmo
Subject: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
Vazene a mile kolegyne, cteni kolegove!
Muj odpocinek nebyl vecny, jak dokazuje tento mail.
Avsak navrativsi se z prazdnin uzrela jsem, ze za me nepritomnosti
konference sklouzla na uroven hadani pavlacovych drben, od cehoz se
distancuji.
A proto vam zde predkladam me nejnovejsi, maximalne dva mesice stare
vyzkumy v oblasti ponekud romantictejsi.
V cervenci jsem totiz mela moznost vydati se po stopach Mistrovych.
Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
Ja jsem se rozhodla obdobnym pozorovanim a samozrejme patranim v
archivech a dalsich institucich aspon castecne odhalit vysledky
jeho vyzkumu na tomto poli.
Vlastne jsem zvolila misto k takovemu pozorovani mnohem vhodnejsi
nez je pole (byt minove ci jinak ozvlastnene), a to primo nejvyssi
vrchol krkonossky, slavnou a ztepilou Snezku.
S celou doprovodnou skupinou odbornych poradcu jsme vyrazili
kolem druhe hodiny nocni a jiz tri ctrvrti hodiny pred planovanym
vychodem jsme stanuli nejvyse. Velmi rychle jsme se ale presunuli do
zavetri, nebot vlivem silneho podchlazeni zacal jeden kolega
projevovat znamky pomatenosti.
Chystala jsem se prave pronest rec o dulezitosti naseho poslani, kdyz
se ozvalo "Karle, zkrat to, je tu zima", ackoliv v okruhu peti metru
prokazatelne zadny Karel nebyl.
Nakonec ale vse probehlo bez problemu - dokonce jsem se doslechla, ze
na Snezce opakuji vychod Slunce pro velky uspech kazdy den.
Pri pozorovani jsme zjistili, ze za rozbresku dochazi k postupnemu
osvetleni cele sire krajiny, az nakonec je uplne svetlo. S odbornymi
poradci se domnivame, ze i Cimrman dospel k podobne objevnym
zaverum.
Jeste poznamka k pane Moutelikove tvrzeni: Rada bych prijala G.
Washingtona do velke ceske rodiny, lec posledne jmenovaneho M.
Jacksona odmitam.
A to zcela klidne, ja se nenecham vyprovokovat jako nekteri
nejmenovani.
S pozdravem
Tereza Krinkova
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:23:21 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-2"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Kolego Hlavacku,
cimrmanologicka konference sice neni soutez v ceskem jazyce, ale jista
elementarni pravidla by se dodrzovat mela. Vzdyt i Jara Cimrman (rodem
Videnak) se udajne naucil cesky temer plynuje. Pravda, zrejme az v
pokrocilem veku. Takze neodhazujte rucnici do obili, jeste neni nic
ztraceno.
Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
Hodne kuraze pri badani ve sferach cimrmanologickych i v dosud tajemnych
zakoutich ceskeho jazyka preje
Milan Hubacek
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:36:11 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-2"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
You wrote:
del /.../
>Praotec Cech vlastne nebyl Cech, ze nebyl Cechem Svaty Vaclav,
>Karel IV., Rudolf II., Frantisek Palacky, Karel Capek, Bozena Nemcova,
>Josef Svejk, Antonin Dvorak, W.A. Mozart, Frantz Kafka,
>J.A. Komensky, Albert Einstein a dalsi velikani nasich dejin,
>na ktere jsme pravem hrdi.
z nichz vybiram nejcesstejsi typy:
Karel IV. - cesky Lucemburk
Rudolf II. - cesky Habsburk
J. Svejk - cesky Nymburk
W.A. Mozart - cesky Rakusan ("Mi Prazane mne rozumeji") - antipod Cimrmana,
takto rakouskeho Cecha
Bozena Nemcova - vzdalena pribuzna Cecha Karla Nemce, znameho dobyvatele
Severniho polu
Franz Kafka - cesky nemecky mluvici Zid
Albert Einstein - relativni Zid
A tak je to skoro s kazdym.
Milan Hubacek
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:37:10 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-2"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
>To delaji dobre - ridi se jednim z Cimrmanovych bonmotu:
>KDYZ JSI BLBEC - TAK SED V KOUTE - NEKOPNOU TE!
>
>Rosta
>
To dost dobre nejde, Rosto. Ona totiz ne Amerika, ale Cesko je zemi
neomezenych moznosti. A tak muzeme cist i toto:
>Sdilim kolego vas nazor. Ja mel z cestiny vzdy trojky.
>Ale pisu !!!!
>
>Vojta Slama
A tak to mas se vsim. Podivej se, kdo v Cesku ridil a ridi politiku nebo
hospodarstvi. Tohle je pravou pricinou postaveni Prahy mezi svetovymi
velkomesty co do vyse vydelku, jak jsi komentoval v cs-clubu (At zije Vaclav
Klaus! Urrraaaaa!) Anebo vysoke nehodovosti na ceskych silnicich. Tak proc
by zrovna psani melo byt vyjimkou?
Milan Hubacek
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 11:14:00 +0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Chalupa
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To:
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
On Wed, 8 Sep 1999, Bohumil Hlavacek wrote:
> Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
Cesko - prosim vas, kde to je? Obcas o tom nekdo mluvi,
ale na mape to neni.
Tuhle dokonce psali v novinach, ze melo hrat jakesi Cesko
se Svedskem. Svedsko jsem na mape nasel, Cesko ne. Cim to je?
(Ze by to byl nejaky znovuobjeveny ztraceny Jaruv vynalez?)
Za podbabskou sekci
BoChal.
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 14:21:55 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Breta Benes
Organization: SVS
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-2
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Bohumil Chalupa wrote ...
Milan Hubacek wrote ...
Tereza wrote ...
Tomas Vitek wrote in article ...
Miroslav Herman wrote in article ...
Ross Hedvicek wrote in article ...
A takovy tu bylo krasny ticho....
S pozdravem "Lekar leci, ticho uzdravuje"
B.B., anticimrmanista, zijici, nejvetsi
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 08:45:41 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To: <37D7502E.636C@osapd.cz>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 08:14 AM 09/09/1999 +0200, Moutelik Jan wrote
>Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
>a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
>Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
>je tak zaostaly a bude pozadovat dukazy, neni problem, aby
>Bastuv tym neco pripravil, jen jim dejte trochu casu, tenhle
>mesic presvihli rozpocet na papir do kopirky.
>
>HonzaM
Americane jsou znami svou mekkosrdcatosti k prohnanym mongoloidnim typum z
vychodni Evropy a proto i ja jsem v zajmu aspon docasneho miru ustoupit a
nabidnout kompromis. Michaela Jacksona si muzete vzit za Cecha, no prosim
jak je libo - cni-li se vam uchylneho prznice deti - je vas, ale George
Washigtona vam nedame - on totiz nemohl rict LEZ (znate tu story o sekerce
a stromu?) a do toho naroda ceskych lharu by rozhodne nepasoval a Abrahama
Lincolna taky nedame, to byl slusny clovek a zrusil rasismus - na rozdil od
vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
ciganum...
Rosta
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 15:23:05 +0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Chalupa
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To: <4.1.19990909084054.00bec550@scanlon.im1.net>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
On Thu, 9 Sep 1999, Ross Hedvicek wrote:
> Americane jsou znami svou mekkosrdcatosti k prohnanym mongoloidnim typum z
> vychodni Evropy
Kdezto krasni hodni Americani se v Americe vylihli z vejce.
A s Evropou nemaji vubec nic spolecneho, a Hedvicek uz tuplem ne.
> a proto i ja jsem v zajmu aspon docasneho miru ustoupit a
> nabidnout kompromis. Michaela Jacksona si muzete vzit za Cecha, no prosim
> jak je libo - cni-li se vam uchylneho prznice deti - je vas, ale George
> Washigtona vam nedame - on totiz nemohl rict LEZ (znate tu story o sekerce
> a stromu?) a do toho naroda ceskych lharu by rozhodne nepasoval a Abrahama
> Lincolna taky nedame, to byl slusny clovek a zrusil rasismus -
To jsou obchody - dame - nedame. Tady o zadny obchod neslo, tady slo
o tvrzeni, ze tak jako JDC je American, tak G.W. a A. L. jsou Cesi.
> na rozdil od
> vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
> ciganum...
Aaaale. To uz tu vsechno mockrat bylo.
Na to se da rict jedine. Jdi tam bydlet.
Kdyz ses tak chytrej.
BoChal.
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:05:10 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Cechy Cechum!
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
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Ross Hedvicek wrote:
>
> At 08:14 AM 09/09/1999 +0200, Moutelik Jan wrote
> >Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
> >a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
> >Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
> >je tak zaostaly a bude pozadovat dukazy, neni problem, aby
> >Bastuv tym neco pripravil, jen jim dejte trochu casu, tenhle
> >mesic presvihli rozpocet na papir do kopirky.
> >
> >HonzaM
>
> Americane jsou znami svou mekkosrdcatosti k prohnanym mongoloidnim typum z
> vychodni Evropy a proto i ja jsem v zajmu aspon docasneho miru ustoupit a
> nabidnout kompromis. Michaela Jacksona si muzete vzit za Cecha, no prosim
> jak je libo - cni-li se vam uchylneho prznice deti - je vas, ale George
> Washigtona vam nedame - on totiz nemohl rict LEZ (znate tu story o sekerce
> a stromu?) a do toho naroda ceskych lharu by rozhodne nepasoval a Abrahama
> Lincolna taky nedame, to byl slusny clovek a zrusil rasismus - na rozdil od
> vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
> ciganum...
>
> Rosta
Michaela Jacksona samozrejme bereme, jednak ma typicky ceskou vizaz,
jednak prznitele deti se sem sjizdeji z celeho sveta a on se jim
muze smele postavit do cela, ostatne uz se chystal natacet
s Bambini di Praga.
Toho Washingtona si nechte, pokud neumel rict ani "Lez~!", tak je
pro nas nepouzitelny, leharo je zaklad nasi mentality. Pokud ovsem
nedokazal rict "Lez!" (snad poslat sekretarku, aby vylezla na zmineny
strom??), pak bycho o nem mohli jeste uvazovat, ale jestli vam na nem
tolik zalezi...
Kazdopadne na Lincolnovi trvame, lidi, kteri umi neco zrusit, to je
nase krevni skupina, mistni "rusici" si poradili i s onacejsima vecma,
nez je ten vas rasismus, pocinaje Poldovkou a konce Moravia bankou.
Ze byl slusnej tolik nevadi, kdyz se ukaze, ze byl Cech, tak na nej
sam neco vyhrabes v archivech StB.
Co se tycete keramicke zdi, to je ale opravdu hluboke nedorozumeni,
ta se stavi na OCHRANU Romu, Cikanu i Cechu, zijicich v socialnich
bytech v Maticni ulici, proti rasistickym domkarum, kteri bydli pres
ulici. Dosavadni zelezny plot totiz umoznuje domkarum strilet
po obyvatelich socialek, zatimco keramicky plot jim neumozni
viditelnost v zamerovaci, zatimco nasi socialne potrebni spoluobcane
budou moci dale hlucet a smrdet do okoli, nicim neomezovani, nebot
v keramickem plotu budou vrata na stejnem miste, jako v puvodnim
kovovem.
S pozdravem "Vratte nam Lincolna, Lendla a Vinetua!"
HonzaM
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 10:31:09 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
In-Reply-To: <37D7BE96.1F6F@osapd.cz>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 04:05 PM 09/09/1999 +0200, Moutelik Jan wrote
>Ross Hedvicek wrote:
>>
>> At 08:14 AM 09/09/1999 +0200, Moutelik Jan wrote
>> >Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
>> >a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
>> >Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
>> >je tak zaostaly a bude pozadovat dukazy, neni problem, aby
>> >Bastuv tym neco pripravil, jen jim dejte trochu casu, tenhle
>> >mesic presvihli rozpocet na papir do kopirky.
>> >
>> >HonzaM
>>
>> Americane jsou znami svou mekkosrdcatosti k prohnanym mongoloidnim typum z
>> vychodni Evropy a proto i ja jsem v zajmu aspon docasneho miru ustoupit a
>> nabidnout kompromis. Michaela Jacksona si muzete vzit za Cecha, no prosim
>> jak je libo - cni-li se vam uchylneho prznice deti - je vas, ale George
>> Washigtona vam nedame - on totiz nemohl rict LEZ (znate tu story o sekerce
>> a stromu?) a do toho naroda ceskych lharu by rozhodne nepasoval a Abrahama
>> Lincolna taky nedame, to byl slusny clovek a zrusil rasismus - na rozdil od
>> vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
>> ciganum...
>>
>> Rosta
>
>Michaela Jacksona samozrejme bereme, jednak ma typicky ceskou vizaz,
>jednak prznitele deti se sem sjizdeji z celeho sveta a on se jim
>muze smele postavit do cela, ostatne uz se chystal natacet
>s Bambini di Praga.
Ano, ano - to jsem rad - je treba tou ceskou genetickou zumpou trochu
zamichat :-)
>
>Toho Washingtona si nechte, pokud neumel rict ani "Lez~!", tak je
>pro nas nepouzitelny, leharo je zaklad nasi mentality. Pokud ovsem
>nedokazal rict "Lez!" (snad poslat sekretarku, aby vylezla na zmineny
>strom??), pak bycho o nem mohli jeste uvazovat, ale jestli vam na nem
>tolik zalezi...
Zalezi - my vam zase nebereme praotce Cecha, praotce Lecha, praotce Nemce a
praotce Cigana - jak tam svorne stali na hore Ripu...
>Kazdopadne na Lincolnovi trvame, lidi, kteri umi neco zrusit, to je
>nase krevni skupina, mistni "rusici" si poradili i s onacejsima vecma,
>nez je ten vas rasismus, pocinaje Poldovkou a konce Moravia bankou.
>Ze byl slusnej tolik nevadi, kdyz se ukaze, ze byl Cech, tak na nej
>sam neco vyhrabes v archivech StB.
To je fakt - uz jsem slysel ze Lincoln v mladi pouzil penize, ktere vyhral
v drevorubecke soutezi k zaplaceni prostitutky..
>Co se tycete keramicke zdi, to je ale opravdu hluboke nedorozumeni,
>ta se stavi na OCHRANU Romu, Cikanu i Cechu, zijicich v socialnich
>bytech v Maticni ulici, proti rasistickym domkarum, kteri bydli pres
>ulici. Dosavadni zelezny plot totiz umoznuje domkarum strilet
>po obyvatelich socialek, zatimco keramicky plot jim neumozni
>viditelnost v zamerovaci, zatimco nasi socialne potrebni spoluobcane
>budou moci dale hlucet a smrdet do okoli, nicim neomezovani, nebot
>v keramickem plotu budou vrata na stejnem miste, jako v puvodnim
>kovovem.
Hmmm.. byt po mym tak zase natahnu ostnaty draty hned od Sumavy ... je vas
treba drzet v kleci, vy zvirata...
>
>S pozdravem "Vratte nam Lincolna, Lendla a Vinetua!"
Tudle!
>HonzaM
Rosta
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 18:17:17 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Mily pane Hlavacku,
Vas prispevek shledavam velice povzbudivym.
Nicmene bych se pridrzel rady kolegy Hubacka
> Hodne kuraze pri badani ve sferach cimrmanologickych i v dosud tajemnych
> zakoutich ceskeho jazyka preje
s dodatkem se aspon pro zacatek uzkostlive vyhybat badani v zakoutich
jinych nez vyse jmenovanym; sic pro zacatecnika v konferenci JDC musi i
perambulace polem minovym pouhou detinskou hrou.
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Thursday, September 09, 1999 2:04 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: pssst
>
> >On Tue, 7 Sep 1999 15:15:24 Milan Hubacek wrote:
> >>Hlavacku, nevyrusujte.
> >
> >Pane Hubacku,
> >
> >vas ton je sice typicky pro nekolik ucastniku tehle
> >konference, kteri si mysli, ze kdyz umi lip cesky tak
> >ze maji vetsi pravo do konference psat. Myslim si, ze
> >to ale neni nazor vetsiny ucastniku konference. Kdyz se
> >takhle bude kazdemu prikazovat jak a o cem muze psat,
> >tak se potom nedivte, ze vetsina prihlasenych jenom
> >mlci a boji se pipnout.
> >
> >Myslim si, ze zajem o Jaru Cimrmana by se nemel stat
> >jenom nejakou vysadou nekolika jednotlivcu, kteri navic
> >pisou vetsinou ze zahranici, jako kdyby Jara Cimrman
> >ani nebyl Cech.
> >
> >Proto vyzyvam vsechny kolegy z Ceska aby se nebali
> >a nenechali se zastrasit nebo otravit. Kazdy ma pravo
> >sem psat, i kdyz obcas udela nejakou drobnou chybu.
> >Uznavam, ze jsem z cestiny mel vetsinou dvojky a vy
> >asi jednicky, to ale neznamena, ze musim jenom mlcet.
> >
> >Bohous Hlavacek
>
>
> Kolego Hlavacku,
>
> cimrmanologicka konference sice neni soutez v ceskem jazyce, ale jista
> elementarni pravidla by se dodrzovat mela. Vzdyt i Jara Cimrman (rodem
> Videnak) se udajne naucil cesky temer plynuje. Pravda, zrejme az v
> pokrocilem veku. Takze neodhazujte rucnici do obili, jeste neni nic
> ztraceno.
>
> Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
>
> Hodne kuraze pri badani ve sferach cimrmanologickych i v dosud tajemnych
> zakoutich ceskeho jazyka preje
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 18:38:37 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Franz Kafka - cesky nemecky mluvici Zid
Albert Einstein - relativni Zid
A tak je to skoro s kazdym. - bez americkeho rodokmenu
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Thursday, September 09, 1999 9:36 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: pssst
>
> You wrote:
>
> del /.../
>
> >Praotec Cech vlastne nebyl Cech, ze nebyl Cechem Svaty Vaclav,
> >Karel IV., Rudolf II., Frantisek Palacky, Karel Capek, Bozena Nemcova,
> >Josef Svejk, Antonin Dvorak, W.A. Mozart, Frantz Kafka,
> >J.A. Komensky, Albert Einstein a dalsi velikani nasich dejin,
> >na ktere jsme pravem hrdi.
>
> z nichz vybiram nejcesstejsi typy:
>
> Karel IV. - cesky Lucemburk
> Rudolf II. - cesky Habsburk
> J. Svejk - cesky Nymburk
> W.A. Mozart - cesky Rakusan ("Mi Prazane mne rozumeji") - antipod
> Cimrmana,
> takto rakouskeho Cecha
> Bozena Nemcova - vzdalena pribuzna Cecha Karla Nemce, znameho dobyvatele
> Severniho polu
> Franz Kafka - cesky nemecky mluvici Zid
> Albert Einstein - relativni Zid
>
> A tak je to skoro s kazdym.
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 20:39:38 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:23:21 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
No tak ja se budu snazit psat spisovne. Kazdy holt nema
literarni talent. Tak pokud delam nejaky desny chyby,
tak me na ne prosim vas e-mailem upozornete. Nemusite
me snad hnedka verejne spilat do blbcu.
s pozdravem, Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 19:05:30 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Tereza wrote:
>
> Vazene a mile kolegyne...
Hmmm, to by se za soucasne konstelace JDC-L dalo skoro kvalifikovat
jako sebeosloveni. Kde jsou ty mile kolegyne?
> Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
> casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
A malo znamym faktem je i to, ze diky teto sve vasni se Cimrman
stal prvnim teenagerem, ktery obcestoval celou zemekouli. To se v tak
rannem veku nepodarilo ani Phileasu Foggovi, o Magalhaesovi nebo
Gagarinovi ani nemluve.
Jako vetsina -nactiletych dusi postizenych akutnim romantismem i Jara
Cimrman se jednoho krasneho cervencoveho jitra vyskrabal na vrsicek
Durchholzenklosterneuburg nedaleko Vidne a se svym poetickym
zapisnickem v podpazi (a tady musim tvrde nesouhlasit s profesorem
Fiedlerem, ktery se na zaklade teto z kontextu vytrzene skutecnosti
domniva, ze Cimrman pouzival svoje vlastni verse jako deodorant a nebo,
a to je jeste skandalnejsi, a proto mi dovolte citovat "jako hygienickou
pomucku pro vseobecne pouziti") zde pozoroval vychod slunce.
Mistr byl predvedenou podivanou znacne zmaten. Nadychane cervanky v
nem probudily pocity, ktere do te doby vubec neznal a pred kterymi ho
ani jeho svedomiti rodice nikterak nevarovali. Ve snaze dostat se svym
neocekavanym dusevnim hnutim na kobylku, rozhodl se seanci druheho dne
opakovat a to z uboci hory Maria-Saalbach-Hinterglemm, jez byla diky sve
vychodnejsi poloze pro pozorovani vychodu slunce daleko vhodnejsi.
A ani tentokrat ho astronomicky ukaz nezklamal. Jeho oci lacne vpijely
barevne detaily vesmirneho ohnostroje, jeho probouzejici se muzstvi
se zdatne proklubavalo obnosenymi svrsky jeho sestry Luisy a poeticky
zapisnik se utesene plnil nesmyslnymi slovnimi obraty. Ocarovany Jara
si spakoval sve tri svestky, ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize.
No, nebudu vas dale unavovat podrobnymi detaily a odtahovat vasi
pozornost od sexualnich preferenci Michaela Jacksona, ktere si docela
urcite zaslouzi daleko vice pozornosti nez zivot a dilo nejakeho
obskurniho Rakousko-uheraka, jehoz jedinou plastickou operaci byl
naraz do traverzy ve tvaru X. Kazde stredoskolsky vzdelane robe vi,
ze dale pokracujeme indukci. Zkratka, Jara byl z vychodu slunce
uchvacenejsi a uchvacenejsi a tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg. A toho dne si Jara, se vsi
intelektualni razanci sveho genia, uvedomil, ze Zeme je kulata, v cemz
ho o dva mesice pozdeji utvrdil i jeho ucitel zemepisu, Johann Nepomuk
Ziegler, po mamince Slovak, po tatinkovi Nor a trvalym bydlistem
Videnak.
z virtualniho Hradce, Honza Rehacek
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 10:20:52 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Kolego Hlavacku,
nebral bych si tolik k srdci.
Hubacek svou exaktnosti jazykozpyteckeho psovstvi napachal uz nemalo zla,
desivse plachych lani z konference; musite vsak na druhou stranu ocenit,
po zasluze, kterak timtez drzi v rozumne vzdalenosti stada jednoslabicne
hykajicich oslu.
A jiste s usmevem ci jen dobrackym mrucenim prehledne travnickovsky kopanec,
je-li prispevek je o necem ci obsahuje-li jiskru fantasie srandy.
Hykani proste nudi usi nejen jeho.O hykani sprostem nemluve.
B
> ----------
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Sent: Thursday, September 09, 1999 9:39 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: pssst
>
> --
>
> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:23:21 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>
> >Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
>
> No tak ja se budu snazit psat spisovne. Kazdy holt nema
> literarni talent. Tak pokud delam nejaky desny chyby,
> tak me na ne prosim vas e-mailem upozornete. Nemusite
> me snad hnedka verejne spilat do blbcu.
>
> s pozdravem, Bohous
>
>
>
> Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 10:42:49 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Vazeny kolegove,
jen kratce dovoluji si pripojit neco poznamek k trachtatu uceneho kolegy
Rehacka
> jeho sestry Luisy
co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
> ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize
>
> tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg
>
>
No a prosim, ted vse o cem pred casem psal kolega Oliva do sebe
zacina zapadat
Mistrove mladistve posedlosti fenomenem slunecniho vstavani se pote,
jiz ve zralem veku, dostalo uspokojeni behem jeho pocinani v Rusku -
pozorovaci stolicku se mu takto podarilo posoupnout az k upati Uralu. Zle
jazyky tvrdi, ze
1) jako skutecny Evropan nepocitoval zrudnou touhu lezt dale pres
ony na vychod kopce lezici ( prispevek k diskusi Mistrova neamerickeho
puvodu)
2) prej u toho ruskeho pocinani se motala nejaka Krupska /a nejen
pri studia rozbresku dne v lahodnosti svezi prirody podhuri divokych hor,
ale i studia tehoz z postele oknem k vychodu obracenym; vedecko-poeticka
naruzivost Mistrova nikdy nedovolila mu prosrat poesii tohoto povznasejiciho
okamziku/, zena vydavajici se choti samotneho vudce VRSR /kolego Olivo,
neslizl nam Iljic ty 3 kule pod bradu od samotneho Mistra v klani o lan
Krupskou ?
Tez nutno dodat, ze Mistr se neobiral pouze studiem Slunce vstavani
a jevy s nim nepotazmo souvisejicimi. Znacnou cast sveho usili, mensiho vsak
nez vychodu planety, venoval jejimu zachodu.
B
> From: Jan Rehacek[SMTP:honza@TRAIL.COM]
> Sent: Thursday, September 02, 1999 1:05 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> Tereza wrote:
> >
> > Vazene a mile kolegyne...
>
> Hmmm, to by se za soucasne konstelace JDC-L dalo skoro kvalifikovat
> jako sebeosloveni. Kde jsou ty mile kolegyne?
>
> > Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
> > casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
>
> A malo znamym faktem je i to, ze diky teto sve vasni se Cimrman
> stal prvnim teenagerem, ktery obcestoval celou zemekouli. To se v tak
> rannem veku nepodarilo ani Phileasu Foggovi, o Magalhaesovi nebo
> Gagarinovi ani nemluve.
>
> Jako vetsina -nactiletych dusi postizenych akutnim romantismem i Jara
> Cimrman se jednoho krasneho cervencoveho jitra vyskrabal na vrsicek
> Durchholzenklosterneuburg nedaleko Vidne a se svym poetickym
> zapisnickem v podpazi (a tady musim tvrde nesouhlasit s profesorem
> Fiedlerem, ktery se na zaklade teto z kontextu vytrzene skutecnosti
> domniva, ze Cimrman pouzival svoje vlastni verse jako deodorant a nebo,
> a to je jeste skandalnejsi, a proto mi dovolte citovat "jako hygienickou
> pomucku pro vseobecne pouziti") zde pozoroval vychod slunce.
>
> Mistr byl predvedenou podivanou znacne zmaten. Nadychane cervanky v
> nem probudily pocity, ktere do te doby vubec neznal a pred kterymi ho
> ani jeho svedomiti rodice nikterak nevarovali. Ve snaze dostat se svym
> neocekavanym dusevnim hnutim na kobylku, rozhodl se seanci druheho dne
> opakovat a to z uboci hory Maria-Saalbach-Hinterglemm, jez byla diky sve
> vychodnejsi poloze pro pozorovani vychodu slunce daleko vhodnejsi.
> A ani tentokrat ho astronomicky ukaz nezklamal. Jeho oci lacne vpijely
> barevne detaily vesmirneho ohnostroje, jeho probouzejici se muzstvi
> se zdatne proklubavalo obnosenymi svrsky jeho sestry Luisy a poeticky
> zapisnik se utesene plnil nesmyslnymi slovnimi obraty. Ocarovany Jara
> si spakoval sve tri svestky, ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize.
>
> No, nebudu vas dale unavovat podrobnymi detaily a odtahovat vasi
> pozornost od sexualnich preferenci Michaela Jacksona, ktere si docela
> urcite zaslouzi daleko vice pozornosti nez zivot a dilo nejakeho
> obskurniho Rakousko-uheraka, jehoz jedinou plastickou operaci byl
> naraz do traverzy ve tvaru X. Kazde stredoskolsky vzdelane robe vi,
> ze dale pokracujeme indukci. Zkratka, Jara byl z vychodu slunce
> uchvacenejsi a uchvacenejsi a tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg. A toho dne si Jara, se vsi
> intelektualni razanci sveho genia, uvedomil, ze Zeme je kulata, v cemz
> ho o dva mesice pozdeji utvrdil i jeho ucitel zemepisu, Johann Nepomuk
> Ziegler, po mamince Slovak, po tatinkovi Nor a trvalym bydlistem
> Videnak.
>
> z virtualniho Hradce, Honza Rehacek
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 18:22:53 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Kolego Hlavacku,
literarni talent a spisovne psani jsou dve ruzne veci. Spisovny jazyk sluzi
ke komunikaci, kdezto i dobra literatura muze byt napsana cetinou vpravde
kanalni.
Do blbcu Vam tu nikdo nespilal a ani mezi hykatele Vas nikdo neradi, a to i
pres upozornovani na prohresky vuci materskemu jazyku. Umrtnost vyplyvajici
z neznalosti Pravidel ceskeho jazyka je porad nizsi nez umrtnost zalozena na
neznalosti Pravidel silnicniho provozu :-) Aspon na silnicich.
Takze jen dal a napiste nam brzy neco hezkeho o Cimrmanovi.
Milan Hubacek
>Kolego Hlavacku,
>
>nebral bych si tolik k srdci.
>Hubacek svou exaktnosti jazykozpyteckeho psovstvi napachal uz nemalo zla,
>desivse plachych lani z konference; musite vsak na druhou stranu ocenit,
>po zasluze, kterak timtez drzi v rozumne vzdalenosti stada jednoslabicne
>hykajicich oslu.
>A jiste s usmevem ci jen dobrackym mrucenim prehledne travnickovsky
kopanec,
>je-li prispevek je o necem ci obsahuje-li jiskru fantasie srandy.
>
>Hykani proste nudi usi nejen jeho.O hykani sprostem nemluve.
>
>B
>
>> ----------
>> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
>> Sent: Thursday, September 09, 1999 9:39 PM
>> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
>> Subject: Re: pssst
>>
>> --
>>
>> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:23:21 Milan Hubacek wrote:
>>
>> >Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
>>
>> No tak ja se budu snazit psat spisovne. Kazdy holt nema
>> literarni talent. Tak pokud delam nejaky desny chyby,
>> tak me na ne prosim vas e-mailem upozornete. Nemusite
>> me snad hnedka verejne spilat do blbcu.
>>
>> s pozdravem, Bohous
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 18:32:19 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Vazeni kolegove,
zapada to do sebe. Zcela logicky se Cimrman musel na konci sve pouti
ocitnout v Zemi vychazejiciho slunce, tedy v Japonsku. Pokracovanim v ceste
na Vychod by se totiz octnul na Zapade, ba primo v lune imperialismu, kde
dolar ma svuj stan, a to si po svych rijnovych hratkach v listopadovem
Peterburgu nemohl z kadrovych duvodu dovolit.
Milan Hubacek
>Vazeny kolegove,
>
>jen kratce dovoluji si pripojit neco poznamek k trachtatu uceneho kolegy
>Rehacka
>
>> jeho sestry Luisy
>co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
>Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
>
>
>> ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
>> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
>> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize
>>
>> tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
>> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
>> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
>> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg
>>
>>
> No a prosim, ted vse o cem pred casem psal kolega Oliva do sebe
>zacina zapadat
> Mistrove mladistve posedlosti fenomenem slunecniho vstavani se
pote,
>jiz ve zralem veku, dostalo uspokojeni behem jeho pocinani v Rusku -
>pozorovaci stolicku se mu takto podarilo posoupnout az k upati Uralu. Zle
>jazyky tvrdi, ze
> 1) jako skutecny Evropan nepocitoval zrudnou touhu lezt dale pres
>ony na vychod kopce lezici ( prispevek k diskusi Mistrova neamerickeho
>puvodu)
> 2) prej u toho ruskeho pocinani se motala nejaka Krupska /a nejen
>pri studia rozbresku dne v lahodnosti svezi prirody podhuri divokych hor,
>ale i studia tehoz z postele oknem k vychodu obracenym; vedecko-poeticka
>naruzivost Mistrova nikdy nedovolila mu prosrat poesii tohoto
povznasejiciho
>okamziku/, zena vydavajici se choti samotneho vudce VRSR /kolego Olivo,
>neslizl nam Iljic ty 3 kule pod bradu od samotneho Mistra v klani o lan
>Krupskou ?
>
> Tez nutno dodat, ze Mistr se neobiral pouze studiem Slunce
vstavani
>a jevy s nim nepotazmo souvisejicimi. Znacnou cast sveho usili, mensiho
vsak
>nez vychodu planety, venoval jejimu zachodu.
>
> B
>
>
>
>
>
>> From: Jan Rehacek[SMTP:honza@TRAIL.COM]
>> Sent: Thursday, September 02, 1999 1:05 AM
>> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
>> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>>
>> Tereza wrote:
>> >
>> > Vazene a mile kolegyne...
>>
>> Hmmm, to by se za soucasne konstelace JDC-L dalo skoro kvalifikovat
>> jako sebeosloveni. Kde jsou ty mile kolegyne?
>>
>> > Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
>> > casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
>>
>> A malo znamym faktem je i to, ze diky teto sve vasni se Cimrman
>> stal prvnim teenagerem, ktery obcestoval celou zemekouli. To se v tak
>> rannem veku nepodarilo ani Phileasu Foggovi, o Magalhaesovi nebo
>> Gagarinovi ani nemluve.
>>
>> Jako vetsina -nactiletych dusi postizenych akutnim romantismem i Jara
>> Cimrman se jednoho krasneho cervencoveho jitra vyskrabal na vrsicek
>> Durchholzenklosterneuburg nedaleko Vidne a se svym poetickym
>> zapisnickem v podpazi (a tady musim tvrde nesouhlasit s profesorem
>> Fiedlerem, ktery se na zaklade teto z kontextu vytrzene skutecnosti
>> domniva, ze Cimrman pouzival svoje vlastni verse jako deodorant a nebo,
>> a to je jeste skandalnejsi, a proto mi dovolte citovat "jako hygienickou
>> pomucku pro vseobecne pouziti") zde pozoroval vychod slunce.
>>
>> Mistr byl predvedenou podivanou znacne zmaten. Nadychane cervanky v
>> nem probudily pocity, ktere do te doby vubec neznal a pred kterymi ho
>> ani jeho svedomiti rodice nikterak nevarovali. Ve snaze dostat se svym
>> neocekavanym dusevnim hnutim na kobylku, rozhodl se seanci druheho dne
>> opakovat a to z uboci hory Maria-Saalbach-Hinterglemm, jez byla diky sve
>> vychodnejsi poloze pro pozorovani vychodu slunce daleko vhodnejsi.
>> A ani tentokrat ho astronomicky ukaz nezklamal. Jeho oci lacne vpijely
>> barevne detaily vesmirneho ohnostroje, jeho probouzejici se muzstvi
>> se zdatne proklubavalo obnosenymi svrsky jeho sestry Luisy a poeticky
>> zapisnik se utesene plnil nesmyslnymi slovnimi obraty. Ocarovany Jara
>> si spakoval sve tri svestky, ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
>> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
>> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize.
>>
>> No, nebudu vas dale unavovat podrobnymi detaily a odtahovat vasi
>> pozornost od sexualnich preferenci Michaela Jacksona, ktere si docela
>> urcite zaslouzi daleko vice pozornosti nez zivot a dilo nejakeho
>> obskurniho Rakousko-uheraka, jehoz jedinou plastickou operaci byl
>> naraz do traverzy ve tvaru X. Kazde stredoskolsky vzdelane robe vi,
>> ze dale pokracujeme indukci. Zkratka, Jara byl z vychodu slunce
>> uchvacenejsi a uchvacenejsi a tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
>> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
>> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
>> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg. A toho dne si Jara, se vsi
>> intelektualni razanci sveho genia, uvedomil, ze Zeme je kulata, v cemz
>> ho o dva mesice pozdeji utvrdil i jeho ucitel zemepisu, Johann Nepomuk
>> Ziegler, po mamince Slovak, po tatinkovi Nor a trvalym bydlistem
>> Videnak.
>>
>> z virtualniho Hradce, Honza Rehacek
>>
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 12:31:20 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
A po prdeli.
Cimz nesmirne elegantne dokazano, ze v Japonsku se i narodil/ dosud vsak
toto tajemstvi z obav pred vypadem mezinarodni zidovske plutokracie bylo
nutno bedlive strezit/
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Friday, September 10, 1999 11:32 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> Vazeni kolegove,
>
> zapada to do sebe. Zcela logicky se Cimrman musel na konci sve pouti
> ocitnout v Zemi vychazejiciho slunce, tedy v Japonsku. Pokracovanim v
> ceste
> na Vychod by se totiz octnul na Zapade, ba primo v lune imperialismu, kde
> dolar ma svuj stan, a to si po svych rijnovych hratkach v listopadovem
> Peterburgu nemohl z kadrovych duvodu dovolit.
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
>
>
> >Vazeny kolegove,
> >
> >jen kratce dovoluji si pripojit neco poznamek k trachtatu uceneho kolegy
> >Rehacka
> >
> >> jeho sestry Luisy
> >co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
> >Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
> >
> >
> >> ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
> >> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
> >> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize
> >>
> >> tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
> >> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
> >> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
> >> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg
> >>
> >>
> > No a prosim, ted vse o cem pred casem psal kolega Oliva do sebe
> >zacina zapadat
> > Mistrove mladistve posedlosti fenomenem slunecniho vstavani se
> pote,
> >jiz ve zralem veku, dostalo uspokojeni behem jeho pocinani v Rusku -
> >pozorovaci stolicku se mu takto podarilo posoupnout az k upati Uralu.
> Zle
> >jazyky tvrdi, ze
> > 1) jako skutecny Evropan nepocitoval zrudnou touhu lezt dale pres
> >ony na vychod kopce lezici ( prispevek k diskusi Mistrova neamerickeho
> >puvodu)
> > 2) prej u toho ruskeho pocinani se motala nejaka Krupska /a nejen
> >pri studia rozbresku dne v lahodnosti svezi prirody podhuri divokych hor,
> >ale i studia tehoz z postele oknem k vychodu obracenym; vedecko-poeticka
> >naruzivost Mistrova nikdy nedovolila mu prosrat poesii tohoto
> povznasejiciho
> >okamziku/, zena vydavajici se choti samotneho vudce VRSR /kolego Olivo,
> >neslizl nam Iljic ty 3 kule pod bradu od samotneho Mistra v klani o lan
> >Krupskou ?
> >
> > Tez nutno dodat, ze Mistr se neobiral pouze studiem Slunce
> vstavani
> >a jevy s nim nepotazmo souvisejicimi. Znacnou cast sveho usili, mensiho
> vsak
> >nez vychodu planety, venoval jejimu zachodu.
> >
> > B
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> From: Jan Rehacek[SMTP:honza@TRAIL.COM]
> >> Sent: Thursday, September 02, 1999 1:05 AM
> >> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> >> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
> >>
> >> Tereza wrote:
> >> >
> >> > Vazene a mile kolegyne...
> >>
> >> Hmmm, to by se za soucasne konstelace JDC-L dalo skoro kvalifikovat
> >> jako sebeosloveni. Kde jsou ty mile kolegyne?
> >>
> >> > Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
> >> > casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
> >>
> >> A malo znamym faktem je i to, ze diky teto sve vasni se Cimrman
> >> stal prvnim teenagerem, ktery obcestoval celou zemekouli. To se v tak
> >> rannem veku nepodarilo ani Phileasu Foggovi, o Magalhaesovi nebo
> >> Gagarinovi ani nemluve.
> >>
> >> Jako vetsina -nactiletych dusi postizenych akutnim romantismem i Jara
> >> Cimrman se jednoho krasneho cervencoveho jitra vyskrabal na vrsicek
> >> Durchholzenklosterneuburg nedaleko Vidne a se svym poetickym
> >> zapisnickem v podpazi (a tady musim tvrde nesouhlasit s profesorem
> >> Fiedlerem, ktery se na zaklade teto z kontextu vytrzene skutecnosti
> >> domniva, ze Cimrman pouzival svoje vlastni verse jako deodorant a nebo,
> >> a to je jeste skandalnejsi, a proto mi dovolte citovat "jako
> hygienickou
> >> pomucku pro vseobecne pouziti") zde pozoroval vychod slunce.
> >>
> >> Mistr byl predvedenou podivanou znacne zmaten. Nadychane cervanky v
> >> nem probudily pocity, ktere do te doby vubec neznal a pred kterymi ho
> >> ani jeho svedomiti rodice nikterak nevarovali. Ve snaze dostat se svym
> >> neocekavanym dusevnim hnutim na kobylku, rozhodl se seanci druheho dne
> >> opakovat a to z uboci hory Maria-Saalbach-Hinterglemm, jez byla diky
> sve
> >> vychodnejsi poloze pro pozorovani vychodu slunce daleko vhodnejsi.
> >> A ani tentokrat ho astronomicky ukaz nezklamal. Jeho oci lacne vpijely
> >> barevne detaily vesmirneho ohnostroje, jeho probouzejici se muzstvi
> >> se zdatne proklubavalo obnosenymi svrsky jeho sestry Luisy a poeticky
> >> zapisnik se utesene plnil nesmyslnymi slovnimi obraty. Ocarovany Jara
> >> si spakoval sve tri svestky, ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
> >> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
> >> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize.
> >>
> >> No, nebudu vas dale unavovat podrobnymi detaily a odtahovat vasi
> >> pozornost od sexualnich preferenci Michaela Jacksona, ktere si docela
> >> urcite zaslouzi daleko vice pozornosti nez zivot a dilo nejakeho
> >> obskurniho Rakousko-uheraka, jehoz jedinou plastickou operaci byl
> >> naraz do traverzy ve tvaru X. Kazde stredoskolsky vzdelane robe vi,
> >> ze dale pokracujeme indukci. Zkratka, Jara byl z vychodu slunce
> >> uchvacenejsi a uchvacenejsi a tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
> >> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
> >> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
> >> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg. A toho dne si Jara, se vsi
> >> intelektualni razanci sveho genia, uvedomil, ze Zeme je kulata, v cemz
> >> ho o dva mesice pozdeji utvrdil i jeho ucitel zemepisu, Johann Nepomuk
> >> Ziegler, po mamince Slovak, po tatinkovi Nor a trvalym bydlistem
> >> Videnak.
> >>
> >> z virtualniho Hradce, Honza Rehacek
> >>
> >
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 12:44:55 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: pssst
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
> Umrtnost vyplyvajici
> z neznalosti Pravidel ceskeho jazyka je porad nizsi nez umrtnost zalozena
> na
> neznalosti Pravidel silnicniho provozu.
>
Kolego Hubacku,
nesnazte se, prosim, uvest nas v klam, ze autorem teto perly jste Vy sam.
Jde zde o zjevnou kradez z pokladnice Mistrovy. Sic nikdo, nikdy, nebyl
schopen vystihnout cokoliv s takovou presnosti, padnosti a zaroven
subtilnosti detailu jako velky Mistr sam.
A kdo lze, ten i krade....
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Friday, September 10, 1999 11:22 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: pssst
>
> Kolego Hlavacku,
>
> literarni talent a spisovne psani jsou dve ruzne veci. Spisovny jazyk
> sluzi
> ke komunikaci, kdezto i dobra literatura muze byt napsana cetinou vpravde
> kanalni.
>
> Do blbcu Vam tu nikdo nespilal a ani mezi hykatele Vas nikdo neradi, a to
> i
> pres upozornovani na prohresky vuci materskemu jazyku. Umrtnost
> vyplyvajici
> z neznalosti Pravidel ceskeho jazyka je porad nizsi nez umrtnost zalozena
> na
> neznalosti Pravidel silnicniho provozu :-) Aspon na silnicich.
>
> Takze jen dal a napiste nam brzy neco hezkeho o Cimrmanovi.
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
>
> >Kolego Hlavacku,
> >
> >nebral bych si tolik k srdci.
> >Hubacek svou exaktnosti jazykozpyteckeho psovstvi napachal uz nemalo zla,
> >desivse plachych lani z konference; musite vsak na druhou stranu
> ocenit,
> >po zasluze, kterak timtez drzi v rozumne vzdalenosti stada jednoslabicne
> >hykajicich oslu.
> >A jiste s usmevem ci jen dobrackym mrucenim prehledne travnickovsky
> kopanec,
> >je-li prispevek je o necem ci obsahuje-li jiskru fantasie srandy.
> >
> >Hykani proste nudi usi nejen jeho.O hykani sprostem nemluve.
> >
> >B
> >
> >> ----------
> >> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> >> Sent: Thursday, September 09, 1999 9:39 PM
> >> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> >> Subject: Re: pssst
> >>
> >> --
> >>
> >> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999 16:23:21 Milan Hubacek wrote:
> >>
> >> >Polepsete se. Ne kvuli mne, ale s s ohledem na Jaru.
> >>
> >> No tak ja se budu snazit psat spisovne. Kazdy holt nema
> >> literarni talent. Tak pokud delam nejaky desny chyby,
> >> tak me na ne prosim vas e-mailem upozornete. Nemusite
> >> me snad hnedka verejne spilat do blbcu.
> >>
> >> s pozdravem, Bohous
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 13:06:18 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Gymnazium Zlin
Subject: PROSBA
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Poradte mi nekdo jak se mam odhlasit z teto konference
neustale mi chodi dopisy o J.Cimrm. a uz mne to dost stve
Ze ja vul jsem se sem kdysi omylem prihlasil
Za radu predem dekuju
Mystik
----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
Gymnazium Zlin
Lesni ctvrt 1364
761 37 ZLIN
Czech Republic
tel.: 420-67-7585111
fax: 420-67-7585504,7
-------------------------------
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 13:36:52 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Jan Rehacek wrote:
>
> Jako vetsina -nactiletych dusi postizenych akutnim romantismem i Jara
> Cimrman se jednoho krasneho cervencoveho jitra vyskrabal na vrsicek
> Durchholzenklosterneuburg nedaleko Vidne a se svym poetickym
> zapisnickem v podpazi (a tady musim tvrde nesouhlasit s profesorem
> Fiedlerem, ktery se na zaklade teto z kontextu vytrzene skutecnosti
> domniva, ze Cimrman pouzival svoje vlastni verse jako deodorant a nebo,
> a to je jeste skandalnejsi, a proto mi dovolte citovat "jako hygienickou
> pomucku pro vseobecne pouziti") zde pozoroval vychod slunce.
>
> Mistr byl predvedenou podivanou znacne zmaten. Nadychane cervanky v
> nem probudily pocity, ktere do te doby vubec neznal a pred kterymi ho
> ani jeho svedomiti rodice nikterak nevarovali. Ve snaze dostat se svym
> neocekavanym dusevnim hnutim na kobylku, rozhodl se seanci druheho dne
> opakovat a to z uboci hory Maria-Saalbach-Hinterglemm, jez byla diky sve
> vychodnejsi poloze pro pozorovani vychodu slunce daleko vhodnejsi.
> A ani tentokrat ho astronomicky ukaz nezklamal. Jeho oci lacne vpijely
> barevne detaily vesmirneho ohnostroje, jeho probouzejici se muzstvi
> se zdatne proklubavalo obnosenymi svrsky jeho sestry Luisy a poeticky
> zapisnik se utesene plnil nesmyslnymi slovnimi obraty. Ocarovany Jara
> si spakoval sve tri svestky, ani se nezatezoval hledanim dalsich a
> okamzite se vydal na cestu k horam, rysujicim se v dalce na vychodnim
> horizontu, aby mohl byt svemu oblibenemu fenomenu co nejblize.
>
> No, nebudu vas dale unavovat podrobnymi detaily a odtahovat vasi
> pozornost od sexualnich preferenci Michaela Jacksona, ktere si docela
> urcite zaslouzi daleko vice pozornosti nez zivot a dilo nejakeho
> obskurniho Rakousko-uheraka, jehoz jedinou plastickou operaci byl
> naraz do traverzy ve tvaru X. Kazde stredoskolsky vzdelane robe vi,
> ze dale pokracujeme indukci. Zkratka, Jara byl z vychodu slunce
> uchvacenejsi a uchvacenejsi a tak svoji pozorovaci seslicku posunoval
> stale vychodneji a vychodneji, aby z toho vychodu slunce videl vice a
> vice, az se zase jednoho krasneho a ne nutne cervencoveho dne ocitl
> na vrcholku kopce Durchholzenklosterneuburg. A toho dne si Jara, se vsi
> intelektualni razanci sveho genia, uvedomil, ze Zeme je kulata, v cemz
> ho o dva mesice pozdeji utvrdil i jeho ucitel zemepisu, Johann Nepomuk
> Ziegler, po mamince Slovak, po tatinkovi Nor a trvalym bydlistem
> Videnak.
>
> z virtualniho Hradce, Honza Rehacek
Tady je na miste zpresnit nektere udaje.
Cimrman samozrejme dobre vedel, ze zemekoule je kulata, dokonce vedel,
ze
vetsina jeji plochy je pokryta morem. Cimrman nebyl prilis dobry plavec,
proto po dukladnem prozkoumani globu zvolil pro svou pout za sluncem,
ktera mela byt dalsim potvrzenim kulatosti Zeme, Antarktidu. Bohuzel
pri ceste do Antarktidy doslo vlivem neprizniveho pocasi k drobnemu
nekolikamesicnimu zpozdeni a Cimrman dorazil na tento kontinent
na zacatku polarni noci. Protoze mel nabity program a nemohl cekat
na vychod slunce, provedl celou cestu kolem zemekoule potme a
orientoval se pouze kompasem.
Na svych prednaskach pak, aby priblizil posluchacum realitu kulatosti
Zeme necim duverne znamym, rikal, ze kdyby vyrazili z vrcholku kopce
Durchholzenklosterneuburg za vychazejicim Sluncem, dosli by po nejake
dobe zase zpet. Mnozi posluchaci doopravdy zkusili tento pochod
absolvovat, ale dosud se zadny z nich nevratil, prestoze si nekteri
na Cimrmanuv popud brali s sebou plovaci vesty. Cimrman mel ohledne
jejich zmizeni hypotezu, ve ktere rikal, ze vzhledem k nakloneni
zemske osy a delce pochodu doslo pri ceste k urcitym odchylkam smeru,
ktere zpusobily, ze poutnici krouzi kolem Zeme, aniz by se priblizili
k Durchholzenklosterneuburgu na dohled. Cimrman pak vypocetl, za jak
dlouho se pri prumerne rychlosti chuze 4km/h a dobe spanku 8hod denne,
mohou poutnici vratit, v zavislosti na presnem datumu jejich startu.
Vzhledem k tomu, ze zadny z casu nevysel pod 1000 let, Cimrman tyto
vypocty, ktere pouzily principu obecne teorie relativity davno pred
Einsteinem, nikdy nepublikoval, aby nevzal pribuznym poutniku
posledni nadeji.
HonzaM
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 21:46:23 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Motto: Otevrel si hospodu, ale zacli mu tam chodit lidi, tak ji zavrel.
Aneb: Prihlasil se do konference, ale zacala mu chodit posta, tak
se zase odhlasil. (Volne adaptovano podle hry "Hospoda na
mytince")
Ale bez legrace, nyni jiz k Vasemu mystickemu dotazu:
Ukoncit clenstvi v teto konferenci muzete tak, ze radne okolkovanou zadost
bez okolku postoupite ulicni organizaci Unie Jary Cimrmana (UJC), ktere jste
clenem. Nadchazejici clenska schuze UO UJC pak provede Vase vylouceni. Jinym
zpusobem provedeni ukonceni clenstvi je neprovadeni placeni clenskych
prispevku po dobu nejmene tri mesicu. Blizsi udaje o provedeni ukonceni
clenstvi v teto konferenci najdete ve stanovach UJC, ktere jsou vytisteny na
predsadce Vasi clenske legitimace.
Dalsim moznym zpusobem ukonceni je provedeni odeslani prikazu "unsubscribe
JDC-L" na automat listserveru cesnetu. Nezafunguje-li ani tento krok,
provedete ukonceni tak, ze vytahnete zastrcku Vaseho pocitace ze zdroje
stridaveho elektrickeho napeti, Zlin znovu prejmenujete na Gottwaldov a
vyckate dalsich pokynu sveho ridiciho dustojnika.
Ne, nedekujte.
Milan Hubacek
> Poradte mi nekdo jak se mam odhlasit z teto konference
> neustale mi chodi dopisy o J.Cimrm. a uz mne to dost stve
> Ze ja vul jsem se sem kdysi omylem prihlasil
>
>
> Za radu predem dekuju
>
>
>
> Mystik
>
> ----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
>
> Gymnazium Zlin
> Lesni ctvrt 1364
> 761 37 ZLIN
> Czech Republic
>
> tel.: 420-67-7585111
> fax: 420-67-7585504,7
>
> -------------------------------
>
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 10:03:54 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
In-Reply-To: <006a01befb8a$d7c62be0$8c14d8cb@default>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 09:46 PM 09/10/1999 +0900, Milan Hubacek wrote
>Motto: Otevrel si hospodu, ale zacli mu tam chodit lidi, tak ji zavrel.
>Aneb: Prihlasil se do konference, ale zacala mu chodit posta, tak
> se zase odhlasil. (Volne adaptovano podle hry "Hospoda na
> mytince")
>
>Ale bez legrace, nyni jiz k Vasemu mystickemu dotazu:
>
>Ukoncit clenstvi v teto konferenci muzete tak, ze radne okolkovanou zadost
>bez okolku postoupite ulicni organizaci Unie Jary Cimrmana (UJC), ktere jste
>clenem. Nadchazejici clenska schuze UO UJC pak provede Vase vylouceni. Jinym
>zpusobem provedeni ukonceni clenstvi je neprovadeni placeni clenskych
>prispevku po dobu nejmene tri mesicu. Blizsi udaje o provedeni ukonceni
>clenstvi v teto konferenci najdete ve stanovach UJC, ktere jsou vytisteny na
>predsadce Vasi clenske legitimace.
>
>Dalsim moznym zpusobem ukonceni je provedeni odeslani prikazu "unsubscribe
>JDC-L" na automat listserveru cesnetu. Nezafunguje-li ani tento krok,
>provedete ukonceni tak, ze vytahnete zastrcku Vaseho pocitace ze zdroje
>stridaveho elektrickeho napeti, Zlin znovu prejmenujete na Gottwaldov a
>vyckate dalsich pokynu sveho ridiciho dustojnika.
>
>Ne, nedekujte.
>
>Milan Hubacek
Zatraceni teenage-komunisti... taky te serou, Hubacku? Me jo.
Rosta
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 17:06:24 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Hubacek!
kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Friday, September 10, 1999 2:46 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: PROSBA
>
> Motto: Otevrel si hospodu, ale zacli mu tam chodit lidi, tak ji zavrel.
> Aneb: Prihlasil se do konference, ale zacala mu chodit posta, tak
> se zase odhlasil. (Volne adaptovano podle hry "Hospoda na
> mytince")
>
> Ale bez legrace, nyni jiz k Vasemu mystickemu dotazu:
>
> Ukoncit clenstvi v teto konferenci muzete tak, ze radne okolkovanou zadost
> bez okolku postoupite ulicni organizaci Unie Jary Cimrmana (UJC), ktere
> jste
> clenem. Nadchazejici clenska schuze UO UJC pak provede Vase vylouceni.
> Jinym
> zpusobem provedeni ukonceni clenstvi je neprovadeni placeni clenskych
> prispevku po dobu nejmene tri mesicu. Blizsi udaje o provedeni ukonceni
> clenstvi v teto konferenci najdete ve stanovach UJC, ktere jsou vytisteny
> na
> predsadce Vasi clenske legitimace.
>
> Dalsim moznym zpusobem ukonceni je provedeni odeslani prikazu "unsubscribe
> JDC-L" na automat listserveru cesnetu. Nezafunguje-li ani tento krok,
> provedete ukonceni tak, ze vytahnete zastrcku Vaseho pocitace ze zdroje
> stridaveho elektrickeho napeti, Zlin znovu prejmenujete na Gottwaldov a
> vyckate dalsich pokynu sveho ridiciho dustojnika.
>
> Ne, nedekujte.
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
>
> > Poradte mi nekdo jak se mam odhlasit z teto konference
> > neustale mi chodi dopisy o J.Cimrm. a uz mne to dost stve
> > Ze ja vul jsem se sem kdysi omylem prihlasil
> >
> >
> > Za radu predem dekuju
> >
> >
> >
> > Mystik
> >
> > ----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
> >
> > Gymnazium Zlin
> > Lesni ctvrt 1364
> > 761 37 ZLIN
> > Czech Republic
> >
> > tel.: 420-67-7585111
> > fax: 420-67-7585504,7
> >
> > -------------------------------
> >
>
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 00:08:14 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> >Dalsim moznym zpusobem ukonceni je provedeni odeslani prikazu
"unsubscribe
> >JDC-L" na automat listserveru cesnetu. Nezafunguje-li ani tento krok,
> >provedete ukonceni tak, ze vytahnete zastrcku Vaseho pocitace ze zdroje
> >stridaveho elektrickeho napeti, Zlin znovu prejmenujete na Gottwaldov a
> >vyckate dalsich pokynu sveho ridiciho dustojnika.
> >
> >Ne, nedekujte.
> >
> >Milan Hubacek
>
> Zatraceni teenage-komunisti... taky te serou, Hubacku? Me jo.
>
> Rosta
>
Wejdemini wejdemini, jses si jistej, ze to nepsal reditel? Uz jen to
mysticke jmeno...
Milan Hubacek
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 00:22:50 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-2"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Tady je na miste dokonce zpresnit nektere pojmy.
> Tady je na miste zpresnit nektere udaje.
> Cimrman samozrejme dobre vedel, ze zemekoule je kulata,
>dokonce vedel, ze vetsina jeji plochy je pokryta morem.
> HonzaM
Je teda zemekoule kulata ci plocha?
Geoanthropomorfologicka pomucka: Telesne ne prilis vyvinute divce muzete
pomerne presne zmerit plochu jejiho hrudniku, kdezto u divky vnadnate muzete
vedle objemu zmerit pouze povrch jejich vnad. Vlastne jenom jejich plast
:-)))
Milan Hubacek
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 11:25:13 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
In-Reply-To: <003701befb9e$5ee31ee0$af14d8cb@default>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 12:08 AM 09/11/1999 +0900, Milan Hubacek wrote
>> >Dalsim moznym zpusobem ukonceni je provedeni odeslani prikazu
>"unsubscribe
>> >JDC-L" na automat listserveru cesnetu. Nezafunguje-li ani tento krok,
>> >provedete ukonceni tak, ze vytahnete zastrcku Vaseho pocitace ze zdroje
>> >stridaveho elektrickeho napeti, Zlin znovu prejmenujete na Gottwaldov a
>> >vyckate dalsich pokynu sveho ridiciho dustojnika.
>> >
>> >Ne, nedekujte.
>> >
>> >Milan Hubacek
>>
>> Zatraceni teenage-komunisti... taky te serou, Hubacku? Me jo.
>>
>> Rosta
>>
>
>Wejdemini wejdemini, jses si jistej, ze to nepsal reditel? Uz jen to
>mysticke jmeno...
Reditel? Myslis jako proto ze rika "ja vul"? To je pravda - kdyby nebyl
vul, tak by nebyl reditel - aspon v Ceskozlodejsku...
... takze mozne to je...
Rosta
>Milan Hubacek
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 00:32:20 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> Hubacek!
>
> kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
>
> B
Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny zejtra
:-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
trainovat.....
Milan Hubacek
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 11:52:32 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
In-Reply-To: <006401befba1$c69ae920$af14d8cb@default>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 12:32 AM 09/11/1999 +0900, Milan Hubacek wrote
>> Hubacek!
>>
>> kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
>>
>> B
>
>Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny zejtra
>:-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
>trainovat.....
>
>Milan Hubacek
Tak to ty cechacky budes muset poslat do prdele jeste mooooockrat - abys
byl na utery spravne nachystanej...
Rosta
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 11:55:41 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 12:32 AM 09/11/1999 +0900, Milan Hubacek wrote
>> Hubacek!
>>
>> kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
>>
>> B
>
>Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny zejtra
>:-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
>trainovat.....
>
>Milan Hubacek
Tak to ty cechacky budes muset poslat do prdele jeste mooooockrat - abys
byl na utery spravne nachystanej...
Rosta
P.S.: I kdyz v Cesku se pry ted hodne mluvi rusky - takze si zkousej
Kuuuudaaa vy ydyjotee??
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 01:05:48 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> >> Zatraceni teenage-komunisti... taky te serou, Hubacku? Me jo.
> >>
> >> Rosta
> >>
> >
> >Wejdemini wejdemini, jses si jistej, ze to nepsal reditel? Uz jen to
> >mysticke jmeno...
>
> Reditel? Myslis jako proto ze rika "ja vul"? To je pravda - kdyby nebyl
> vul, tak by nebyl reditel - aspon v Ceskozlodejsku...
>
> ... takze mozne to je...
>
> Rosta
>
> >Milan Hubacek
>
Kdyby to nekolikrat za zivot nerekl, nemohl by reditelovat. Typicky pripad
byl reditel na nasem pardubickym gymplu, ktery prezil v pohode vsechny
rezimy, co se za jeho kariery stacily vystridat. Ten chtel v
osm/devetasedesatem vylucovat studenty, kteri neprojevovali dostatek nadseni
nad tim, ze jim byla dana pocta stat nad symbolickym pomnikem Palacha,
protoze by radsi byvali sli do hospody U capa. Tentyz reditel pak o dva roky
vylucoval ty studenty, ktere se mu k tomu podarilo ukecat. Jmenoval se
Oldrich Kovar, reditelne se tou dobou rikala kovarna. A jak se rika v
pohadkach - kdyby neumrel, rediteloval by dodnes. Treba s modrym ptakem -
vlastne ted uz s ruzickou v klope. Kolikrat a komu vsemu musel ten clovek za
svuj zivot "Ja vul" rict, aby si zachoval koryto? A proc by Zlin mel byt
vyjimkou? Ale jo, vim, urcite to psal nejaky studentik...
Milan Hubacek
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 01:42:08 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> At 12:32 AM 09/11/1999 +0900, Milan Hubacek wrote
> >> Hubacek!
> >>
> >> kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
> >>
> >> B
> >
> >Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny
zejtra
> >:-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
> >trainovat.....
> >
> >Milan Hubacek
>
> Tak to ty cechacky budes muset poslat do prdele jeste mooooockrat - abys
> byl na utery spravne nachystanej...
>
> Rosta
>
> P.S.: I kdyz v Cesku se pry ted hodne mluvi rusky - takze si zkousej
>
> Kuuuudaaa vy ydyjotee??
My uz se nejak domluvime....
Milan Hubacek
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 18:32:14 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
hlavne nezapomenou na ty Pravidla silnicniho provozu
ja s nima taky mel po trech letech potize
ze se nechavam moc poroucet u panstva z poRipi
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Friday, September 10, 1999 5:32 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: PROSBA
>
> > Hubacek!
> >
> > kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
> >
> > B
>
> Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny
> zejtra
> :-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
> trainovat.....
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 22:45:54 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Libicek, Boris wrote:
>
> > jeho sestry Luisy
> co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
> Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
Ne, ne, vypada to, ze to byla opravdu Luisa.
Jednak se na tom shoduji prakticky vsechny dosud zverejnene
cimrmanologicke studie a jednak se nas vidensky dopisovatel
Manfred Kokoschka Pastuschi Tobolka zcela nedavno dopidil, ze
detsky karneval, poradany Dobrovolnym krejcovskym sdruzenim Vidne IV.
v roce 1877 vyhrala s velikym naskokem maska sourozencu Cimrmanovych
"Luisa a jeji tygr".
A kdyz uz jsme u tech studii - obcas natrefim na lidi, kteri
by se o Cimrmanovi radi neco dozvedeli, ale neumi cesky. Tak jsem
pro tyto zboudile ovecky vyhotovil strucnou chronologii Cimrmanova
zivota v jazyce anglickem - a to jednak ze zdroju klasickych, tedy
Divadlo Jary Cimrmana a Salon Cimrman, a jednak ze zdroju amaterskych.
Soubor se naleza na adrese
http://www.trail.com/~honza/jara.html
a mate-li k nemu jakekoliv poznamky, at uz faktograficke a nebo
jazykove, rad si je vyslechnu. Nijak moc jsem se s tim neparal,
takze tam muze byt spousta nepresnosti.
Specielne polozky DJC jsem cerpal z utle knizecky "Dodatky",
kde je v zaveru strucna chronologie, ovsem kazde heslo je tam
vedeno pouze jako jednoradkova noticka, takze mohlo dojit ke ztrate
informace. V chronologii jsem jako limit na heslo stanovil 6 radku,
takze pokud se vam zda, ze by se nektere zaznamy mohly trochu rozvest
a pokud mate originalni prameny k disposici, tak mi muzete poslat navrh
na rozsireni hesla (ale v tom pripade v ASCII, prosim vas, a nebo
jeste lepe v anglictine).
A samozrejme, mate-li vlastni, specificky datovane objevy muzete mi
je poslat taktez. Chronologie se ovsem omezuje pouze na obdobi
1857-1914, takze pokud jste objevili, ze Cimrman zalozil risi Inku a
nebo ze zpusobil krach na newyorkske burze v roce 1929, tak to si musite
zalozit chronologii vlastni.
Honza
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 01:45:38 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> From: Moutelik Jan
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
> Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 13:36:52 +0200
> ... Cimrman mel ohledne
> jejich zmizeni hypotezu, ve ktere rikal, ze vzhledem k nakloneni
> zemske osy a delce pochodu doslo pri ceste k urcitym odchylkam smeru,
> ktere zpusobily, ze poutnici krouzi kolem Zeme...
To myslite tak, ze jak se ta osa naklonila, tak poutnici nedavajice
pozor ztratili balanc a popadali ze (*) Zeme do vesmirneho prostoru a
ted tam krouzi jako major Gagarin?
(*) nebo "se Zeme"?.. sakra ted fakt nevim - zni to blbe, ale matne si
pamatuju na nejaky pravidlo o "s povrchu" - uvidime co na to RRGZ...
> .... Cimrman pak vypocetl, za jak
> dlouho se pri prumerne rychlosti chuze 4km/h a dobe spanku 8hod denne,
> mohou poutnici vratit, v zavislosti na presnem datumu jejich startu.
> Vzhledem k tomu, ze zadny z casu nevysel pod 1000 let,
Tak kdyz uz vas kolega Hubacek vypeskoval za geometrii, tak ja si jeste
prisadim za aritmetiku. Zeme ma v pase 40000 km, takze pri vami udane
rychlosti budeme potrebovat 10000 hodin. Jelikoz 8 hodin denne nam
poutnici prospi (**), kazdy den pujdou 16 hodin. Akolikzeje 10000 deleno
16? Kalkulacko, priznej barvu! 625 dni, no to nejsou ani dva roky.
Jak on to hrome ten Cimrman pocital, ze mu vyslo 1000 let??
(**) tak me napada, ze jestli spi poutnici v jeskyni, tak to by skutecne
mohli padat ze Zeme...
H.
Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 15:17:06 CET
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Polacek
Organization: Daemon's Gate
Subject: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Zdarec Moutelik,
Ctvrtek Zari 09 1999 08:14, Moutelik Jan =:-v =------------> Ross
Hedvicek:
MJ> Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
MJ> a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
MJ> Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
Nemohli by sme toho Jacksona vynechat? Kdo je zvedavej na homosexualni
geneticky odpad moderni mediciny.
Cauky
Honza đB-Q
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 10:11:05 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: =?iso-8859-2?Q?MIKE=A9_P=F8emysl?=
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Neberte nam Jaru Cimrmana, mate prece sveho Thomase Alvu, Barta Simpsona
a jine vyznamne osobnosti. Jara Cimrman znamenal nesporne pro Spojene
staty mnoho, podobne jako Antonin Dvorak ci Andy Warhol ale to jeste
neznamena, ze si je muzete privlastnovat za sve ! Pratele, brante se
teto kulturni invazi, jinak se muzete jednoho dne dozit toho, ze na
miste, kde stavala Vase oblibena hospudka kde jste si davali
vepro-knedlo-zelo s plzenskym jednoho dne naleznete McDonald a predlozi
Vam haburger s colou ! Nezapomente na doby, kdy nam tvrdili, ze Jezisek
neexistuje a misto neho nam vnutili Dedu Mráze !!!
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 23:26:55 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: PROSBA
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Ano, musim davat Johanna Sebastiana. Tady se totiz jezdi po stejne strane
silnice jako v Englicku...
Milan Hubacek
> hlavne nezapomenou na ty Pravidla silnicniho provozu
>
> ja s nima taky mel po trech letech potize
>
> ze se nechavam moc poroucet u panstva z poRipi
>
> B
>
> > ----------
> > From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> > Sent: Friday, September 10, 1999 5:32 PM
> > To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> > Subject: Re: PROSBA
> >
> > > Hubacek!
> > >
> > > kurva, pro dnesek uz toho bylo vic nez dost!
> > >
> > > B
> >
> > Sorry sorry sorry cesticka, ale ja tady v Japonsku mam uz pul hodiny
> > zejtra
> > :-) A navic v utery letim po trech letech do Ceska, takze se musim
> > trainovat.....
> >
> > Milan Hubacek
> >
>
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 00:10:55 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Jan Rehacek wrotnul:
> Libicek, Boris wrote:
> >
> > > jeho sestry Luisy
> > co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
> > Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
>
> Ne, ne, vypada to, ze to byla opravdu Luisa.
>
> Jednak se na tom shoduji prakticky vsechny dosud zverejnene
> cimrmanologicke studie a jednak se nas vidensky dopisovatel
> Manfred Kokoschka Pastuschi Tobolka zcela nedavno dopidil, ze
> detsky karneval, poradany Dobrovolnym krejcovskym sdruzenim Vidne IV.
> v roce 1877 vyhrala s velikym naskokem maska sourozencu Cimrmanovych
> "Luisa a jeji tygr".
Skutecne se zjistilo, ze Luisa mela tygra pouze jednoho, zato pry poradneho.
Laura tech tygru mela podstatne vic a zle jazyky o ni tvrdi, ze pry obcas
chytla i vlka!
Milan Hubacek
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 00:24:30 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Jan Rehacek wrotnul:
> To myslite tak, ze jak se ta osa naklonila, tak poutnici nedavajice
> pozor ztratili balanc a popadali ze (*) Zeme do vesmirneho prostoru a
> ted tam krouzi jako major Gagarin?
>(*) nebo "se Zeme"?.. sakra ted fakt nevim - zni to blbe, ale matne si
> pamatuju na nejaky pravidlo o "s povrchu" - uvidime co na to RRGZ...
Vyvoj ceskeho jazyka i jeho pravidel je vysostne demograticky - neboli
naklonen spis blbcum nez tem, kteri o vlastnim jazyku premysleji. Takze v
genitivni vazbe (2. pad) muzete demograticky pouzit predlozky "z, ze" bez
toho, aby Vas ucitelka cestiny srazila z lavice. (pred nedavnem "s lavice").
Tudiz pravidla "s povrchu" a "zevnitr" v jedno sloucena jsout'. Lec
nezoufejte. Pokud je mi znamo, slovo "sprdnout" zmeny tvaru na "zprdnout"
zatim jeste nedoznalo.
Milan Hubacek
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 21:38:33 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: X Umberfield
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Skutecne, mnozi stale nemaji jasno i v tak fundamentalnich a elementarnich otazkach, jako zda Cimrman byl ci nebyl Cech.
Pratele, vzpamatujte se a znovu zalistujte ve svych ucebnicich systematicke cimrmanologie ze zakladni skoly ! Jiste, Cirmman byl svetoobcan, byl svetobeznik, byl internacional(-ista? fuj! to nee!!!)niho puvodu, byl dobyvatelem Noveho sveta, ale predevsim byl Cech ! Ano, ac narozen ve Vidni, po matce Rakusan, srdcem a dusi byl Cech.
Vsem kdo pochybuji doporucuji stat S&S "Nas Jara Cimrman". I kdyz vim, ze budu napaden nekterymi cleny konference, znovu apeluji - toto jsou zakladni pravdy o JDC, ktere jsou nezpochybnitelne:
"Jakkoli mel Jara Cimrman neklidnou krev globetrotteru, vzdy se rad vracel domu, do Cech. Vlastenectvi je nejvyraznejsim rysem jeho osobnosti. Pro ne trpel v habsburskych zalarich, pro ne se naucil temer plynne cesky. Pro ne - a to nejlepe osvetluje vroucnost jeho cesstvi - se dokazal rozejit i s nejlepsim pritelem Aloisem Jiraskem. V Cechach dosahuje Cimrmanovo zivotni dilo vrcholu. A nikdy nezapomel na svoji vlast - Böhmen".
To tvrdim i ja, orthodoxni Moravak.
P.S.: Cimrmanologie, at uz ta oficialni, nebo alternativni - je pomerne mlada veda. A zrejme nutne musi projit obdobím etremnich hypotez a slepych ulicek. Pripomenme si jak nedavno se zde jeden z badatelu snazil podsunout tezi, ze Cimrman byl Rus, ba primo iniciator VRSR v roce 1917. Ja jsem namital neco o nepravdepodobnosti teto teorie, ale byl jsem napaden jako nepritel demokracie - pry si kazdy muze psat a delat co chce. Ano - relativismus je pohromou celeho naseho stoleti. Ja nikoho omezovat nechci, ale kdyz si kazdy dela co chce - taky si pak za to nese nasledky. Opojeni ze svobody casto konciva neprijemnou kocovinou.
Navzdory vsem doufam, ze genialni sila jez vyzaruje z Mistrovy osobnosti, dokaze nakonec vyvest cimrmanologii ze scesti podobnych excesu a prominte mi ten vyraz, zvracenosti.
Vysvetlujici poznamka:
Pro mladsi cleny konference upresnuji vyznam zkratky VRSR: jedna se o 'velkou rijnovou socialistickou revoluci'.
Vas veci Jarova odkazu uprimne oddany
X. Umberfield
-- http://email.seznam.cz
-- email zdarma na cely zivot
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 11:07:47 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: pssst
X-To: Milan Hubacek
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
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Vous, Milan Hubacek, avez écrit ceci:
>A tak to mas se vsim. Podivej se, kdo v Cesku ridil a ridi politiku nebo
>hospodarstvi. Tohle je pravou pricinou postaveni Prahy mezi svetovymi
>velkomesty co do vyse vydelku, jak jsi komentoval v cs-clubu (At zije Vaclav
>Klaus! Urrraaaaa!)
Mohli byste mi k tomu rici vice i mimo konferenci? Pokud takovy prispevek
mate, rad si jej prectu!
Diky
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 20:31:33 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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--
On Thu, 2 Sep 1999 01:45:38 Jan Rehacek wrote:
>Tak kdyz uz vas kolega Hubacek vypeskoval za geometrii, tak ja si jeste
>prisadim za aritmetiku. Zeme ma v pase 40000 km,
A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
To nema v pase ale v bocich
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 00:35:52 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
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Vous, Bohumil Hlavacek, avez écrit ceci:
>A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
Kdyz uz jsme u te biologie, jiste jste slyseli o bioastronomii, cili
hledani zivacka ziveho v jinych galaxiich.
Doufam, ze jako spravni badatele jste jiz zapojeni do hledani
SETI@home? pokud ne prectete si neco o tom na strance:
http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu
Muzete dat svuj pocitac k dispozici prave badani, kterou nikdo
nechce a ani moc neuznava...
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 09:37:20 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Bohumil Hlavacek wrote:
>
> > Zeme ma v pase 40000 km,
>
> A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
> To nema v pase ale v bocich
>
Dobra, tak navrhuju kompromisni reseni:
Co kdybychom to zmerili pres Himalaje?
At si taky horolezec-nemrava neco uzije - pokud by ovsem nasledkem
nakloneni zemske kozy neslitl osklivym drskopadem nekam do udoli...
Tim padem by se ale zase vlk nazral (a prestal otravovat Lauru),
zatimco koza by zustala cela, takze ono vlastne neni co ztratit.
H.
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 09:42:09 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Miroslav Herman wrote:
>
> Kdyz uz jsme u te biologie, jiste jste slyseli o bioastronomii, cili
> hledani zivacka ziveho v jinych galaxiich.
Ja o bioastronomii skoro nic nevim, zato jsem ale slysel o
biogastronomii, cili hledani zivacka ziveho v NASI galaxii.
Podle otce teto vedecke discipliny, Jary Cimrmana, se nalezeny
zivacek zivy majzne palickou po hlave a jako zivacek mrtvy se
pak podava na smetane a s brusinkami.
Honza
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 09:44:57 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum
MIME-Version: 1.0
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> From: =?iso-8859-2?Q?MIKE=A9_P=F8emysl?=
> Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
> Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 10:11:05 +0200
>
> ... Pratele, brante se
> > teto kulturni invazi, jinak se muzete jednoho dne dozit toho, ze na
> > miste, kde stavala Vase oblibena hospudka kde jste si davali
> > vepro-knedlo-zelo s plzenskym jednoho dne naleznete McDonald a predlozi
> > Vam haburger s colou !
A taky byste se mohli dozit toho, ze na miste, kde stavala vytunelovana
financni instituce najednou naleznete prosperujici banku.
Vaclav Klaus nas ochranuj pred takovymi novotami!
Honza
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 09:01:15 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Spravny postreh, mladence. Je videt, ze jste cetl Cimrmanuv spis o
astromorfologii.
Jen jako detail uvadim, ze Cimrman jiz v roce 1884 - to znamena v tesne
popubertalnim az muzne zralem veku - navrhl usporadat soutez Miss Universe,
neboli soutez o nejhezci planetu Slunecni soustavy a vubec celeho vesmiru.
Cela soutez vsak skoncila merenim adeptek v bocich, nebot diky zcela
prokazatelnemu antropocentrismu byla vyherkyne naprosto jasna. Cimrman toto
protezovani tezce nesla ulohu hlavniho porotce se vzdal. Casem tato soutez
diky silicimu antropocentrismu jeste dale degradovala a pomerovani byli
pozemsti zivacci, vlastne zivackyne.
Milan Hubacek
>
>On Thu, 2 Sep 1999 01:45:38 Jan Rehacek wrote:
>
>>Tak kdyz uz vas kolega Hubacek vypeskoval za geometrii, tak ja si jeste
>>prisadim za aritmetiku. Zeme ma v pase 40000 km,
>
>A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
>To nema v pase ale v bocich
>
>Bohous
>
>
>Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 09:07:01 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="windows-1250"
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Honza Rehacek wrote:
>Bohumil Hlavacek wrote:
>>
>> > Zeme ma v pase 40000 km,
>>
>> A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
>> To nema v pase ale v bocich
>>
>
>Dobra, tak navrhuju kompromisni reseni:
>
>Co kdybychom to zmerili pres Himalaje?
>At si taky horolezec-nemrava neco uzije - pokud by ovsem nasledkem
>nakloneni zemske kozy neslitl osklivym drskopadem nekam do udoli...
>
>Tim padem by se ale zase vlk nazral (a prestal otravovat Lauru),
>zatimco koza by zustala cela, takze ono vlastne neni co ztratit.
>
>H.
Kdo to kdy slysel, aby se mira brala pres jednu ... pardon ... pres jedno
prso? To je jako merit pres jeden bok.
Milan Hubacek
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 09:19:24 +0900
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Milan Hubacek
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Honza Rehacek wrote:
>Miroslav Herman wrote:
>
>>
>> Kdyz uz jsme u te biologie, jiste jste slyseli o bioastronomii, cili
>> hledani zivacka ziveho v jinych galaxiich.
>
>Ja o bioastronomii skoro nic nevim, zato jsem ale slysel o
>biogastronomii, cili hledani zivacka ziveho v NASI galaxii.
>Podle otce teto vedecke discipliny, Jary Cimrmana, se nalezeny
>zivacek zivy majzne palickou po hlave a jako zivacek mrtvy se
>pak podava na smetane a s brusinkami.
>
>Honza
Tak tohle je mozne jenom ve VASI galaxii. To v NASI galaxii se takovy
mrtvacek (jak vidite, mame ve zvyku zkracovat pojmy, nebot cas jsou penize)
podava do zlatova opeceny, se spenatem a bramborovym knedlikem. Alespon
podle matky teto vedecke discipliny, zde jiz zminene Cimrmanovy nevlastni
sestry Laury. Podle udaju ve videnske matrice byla Laura nevlastni jak z
otcovy, tak z matciny strany, neboli (cituji matriku) "doppelnichteigene".
Milan Hubacek
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 21:56:17 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
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MIKE© Přemysl wrote in message
news:C18AA9A50421D311BB230008C7D916FC03C10E@FUOTRNT2...
> Neberte nam Jaru Cimrmana, mate prece sveho Thomase Alvu, Barta Simpsona
> a jine vyznamne osobnosti.
Nezapomen na Beavis and Butthead , popr.Coolio ,Angela Davis , Snoop Doggy
Dog a Tupac Shakur (ten posledni nejen ovesenej zlatem , ale i plnej olova
:-)
Jara Cimrman znamenal nesporne pro Spojene
> staty mnoho, podobne jako Antonin Dvorak ci Andy Warhol ale to jeste
> neznamena, ze si je muzete privlastnovat za sve ! Pratele, brante se
> teto kulturni invazi, jinak se muzete jednoho dne dozit toho, ze na
> miste, kde stavala Vase oblibena hospudka kde jste si davali
> vepro-knedlo-zelo s plzenskym jednoho dne naleznete McDonald a predlozi
> Vam haburger s colou ! Nezapomente na doby, kdy nam tvrdili, ze Jezisek
> neexistuje a misto neho nam vnutili Dedu Mráze !!!
Deda Mraz to vyresil uplne jednoduse , rekl bych ze primo vychcane ,
prejmenoval se na svatyho Kla.. , Clause a Jezisek zase ostrouhal . Jo , a
co mas proti Mc Donaldu ? To je ryze ceskej podnik co zalozil Jara s nakym
jinym cizkem kterej se jmenoval Kroc pod krycim jmenem Mc Donald , Kroc
nezni dost americky a Jara znamej svoji skromnosti by na to svoje jmeno
nedal .Kdo jinej nez Cech by moh prijit na podnik kde se prodava neco co
nema vubec zadnou hodnotu a zblbnout lidi natolik aby to kupovali jak divi ?
:-) Dokonce i s tou Coca Colou to vyfoukli , driv tam davali kokain , ted uz
jen jakysi svinstvo a jeste to je dnes za vetsi cenu a furt to kupujou .To
je vyspa cesky geniality v podnikani .
--
Jack Stone
http://www.inergy.com/westend/Greeting_from_pub.JPG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Lepsi pivo v zaludku nezli voda na plicich."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"It's better to have a beer in the stomach than water in the lungs."
J. Cimrman
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 22:00:25 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Jan Rehacek wrote in message
news:37CE7F59.4AAC57DA@trail.com...
> > From: =?iso-8859-2?Q?MIKE=A9_P=F8emysl?=
> > Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
> > Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 10:11:05 +0200
> >
> > ... Pratele, brante se
> > > teto kulturni invazi, jinak se muzete jednoho dne dozit toho, ze na
> > > miste, kde stavala Vase oblibena hospudka kde jste si davali
> > > vepro-knedlo-zelo s plzenskym jednoho dne naleznete McDonald a
predlozi
> > > Vam haburger s colou !
>
> A taky byste se mohli dozit toho, ze na miste, kde stavala vytunelovana
> financni instituce najednou naleznete prosperujici banku.
No , moc bych nespechal k ukvapenejm zaverum , ceska dovednost dovede
vytunelovat jakejkoliv podnik :-)
--
Jack Stone
http://www.inergy.com/westend/Greeting_from_pub.JPG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Lepsi pivo v zaludku nezli voda na plicich."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"It's better to have a beer in the stomach than water in the lungs."
J. Cimrman
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 22:30:41 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
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Tereza wrote in message
news:199909090651.IAA21229@cesnet.cz...
> Vazene a mile kolegyne, cteni kolegove!
>
> Muj odpocinek nebyl vecny, jak dokazuje tento mail.
> Avsak navrativsi se z prazdnin uzrela jsem, ze za me nepritomnosti
> konference sklouzla na uroven hadani pavlacovych drben, od cehoz se
> distancuji.
> A proto vam zde predkladam me nejnovejsi, maximalne dva mesice stare
> vyzkumy v oblasti ponekud romantictejsi.
>
> V cervenci jsem totiz mela moznost vydati se po stopach Mistrovych.
> Je malo znamym faktem, ze Cimrman venoval cast sveho drahocenneho
> casu pozorovani vychodu Slunce.
> Ja jsem se rozhodla obdobnym pozorovanim a samozrejme patranim v
> archivech a dalsich institucich aspon castecne odhalit vysledky
> jeho vyzkumu na tomto poli.
>
> Vlastne jsem zvolila misto k takovemu pozorovani mnohem vhodnejsi
> nez je pole (byt minove ci jinak ozvlastnene), a to primo nejvyssi
> vrchol krkonossky, slavnou a ztepilou Snezku.
>
> S celou doprovodnou skupinou odbornych poradcu jsme vyrazili
> kolem druhe hodiny nocni a jiz tri ctrvrti hodiny pred planovanym
> vychodem jsme stanuli nejvyse. Velmi rychle jsme se ale presunuli do
> zavetri, nebot vlivem silneho podchlazeni zacal jeden kolega
> projevovat znamky pomatenosti.
>
> Chystala jsem se prave pronest rec o dulezitosti naseho poslani, kdyz
> se ozvalo "Karle, zkrat to, je tu zima", ackoliv v okruhu peti metru
> prokazatelne zadny Karel nebyl.
>
> Nakonec ale vse probehlo bez problemu - dokonce jsem se doslechla, ze
> na Snezce opakuji vychod Slunce pro velky uspech kazdy den.
>
> Pri pozorovani jsme zjistili, ze za rozbresku dochazi k postupnemu
> osvetleni cele sire krajiny, az nakonec je uplne svetlo. S odbornymi
> poradci se domnivame, ze i Cimrman dospel k podobne objevnym
> zaverum.
Ano , a dokonce jsou casti jeho vyzkumu archivovany v americkem National
Weather Service kde je i jeho slavna predpoved pocasi na zitrek , ktera svou
presnosti predcila dobu o minimalne dveste let a tak ceska dovednost opet
pomohla vedcum a meteorologum jinych narodu . Pro autenticitu predpovedi
,zde je v originale .
Weather forecast for tomorrow
-------------------------------------------
Dark , followed by scattered light in the early morning ,clearing up to full
light by noon .Another dark front should hit in the evening , with total
darkness setting in and persisting through until the next day .There might
be a moon up , high probability of stars . There'll probably be some winds
and clouds too .
--
Jack Stone
http://www.inergy.com/westend/Greeting_from_pub.JPG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Lepsi pivo v zaludku nezli voda na plicich."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"It's better to have a beer in the stomach than water in the lungs."
J. Cimrman
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 22:52:41 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum!
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Ross Hedvicek wrote
> Zalezi - my vam zase nebereme praotce Cecha, praotce Lecha, praotce Nemce
a
> praotce Cigana - jak tam svorne stali na hore Ripu...
Praotec Cigan tam nebyl , ten zatim vybiral co se mu hodilo ze zavazadel
(zanechanych pod Ripem) ostatnich praotcu a jejich nasledovniku se kterymi
se na cestu na Rip s vymluvou na bolavou hlavu z predeslyho vecera nevydal ,
a tak i on zavedl pro svuj kmen tradici na veky vekuv .
--
Jack Stone
http://www.inergy.com/westend/Greeting_from_pub.JPG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Lepsi pivo v zaludku nezli voda na plicich."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"It's better to have a beer in the stomach than water in the lungs."
J. Cimrman
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 23:14:00 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Bohumil Chalupa wrote
> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999, Ross Hedvicek wrote:
> > na rozdil od
> > vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
> > ciganum...
>
> Aaaale. To uz tu vsechno mockrat bylo.
> Na to se da rict jedine. Jdi tam bydlet.
> Kdyz ses tak chytrej.
Jen nech bejt , v porovnani s Floydem muze i mezi cikanama bejt lip . Zeptej
se Rosti na predpoved pocasi na pristi tejden , konkretne kolem stredy :-)
--
Jack Stone
http://www.inergy.com/westend/Greeting_from_pub.JPG
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Lepsi pivo v zaludku nezli voda na plicich."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
"It's better to have a beer in the stomach than water in the lungs."
J. Cimrman
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 10:31:54 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
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Jan Rehacek wrote:
>
> > From: Moutelik Jan
> > Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
> > Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 13:36:52 +0200
>
> > ... Cimrman mel ohledne
> > jejich zmizeni hypotezu, ve ktere rikal, ze vzhledem k nakloneni
> > zemske osy a delce pochodu doslo pri ceste k urcitym odchylkam smeru,
> > ktere zpusobily, ze poutnici krouzi kolem Zeme...
>
> To myslite tak, ze jak se ta osa naklonila, tak poutnici nedavajice
> pozor ztratili balanc a popadali ze (*) Zeme do vesmirneho prostoru a
> ted tam krouzi jako major Gagarin?
Zemska osa je naklonena uz delsi dobu, prinejmensim za Cimrmana tomu tak
jiz bylo. Co se krouzeni tyce, presto, ze Cimrman predpovidal moznosti
kosmickych letu, zde pravdepodobne mel na mysli krouzeni po povrchu
zemskem, i s ohledem na to, ze dale zminovana rychlost zdaleka
nedosahuje
rychlosti unikove neboli prvni kosmicke.
> > .... Cimrman pak vypocetl, za jak
> > dlouho se pri prumerne rychlosti chuze 4km/h a dobe spanku 8hod denne,
> > mohou poutnici vratit, v zavislosti na presnem datumu jejich startu.
> > Vzhledem k tomu, ze zadny z casu nevysel pod 1000 let,
>
> Tak kdyz uz vas kolega Hubacek vypeskoval za geometrii, tak ja si jeste
> prisadim za aritmetiku. Zeme ma v pase 40000 km, takze pri vami udane
> rychlosti budeme potrebovat 10000 hodin. Jelikoz 8 hodin denne nam
> poutnici prospi (**), kazdy den pujdou 16 hodin. Akolikzeje 10000 deleno
> 16? Kalkulacko, priznej barvu! 625 dni, no to nejsou ani dva roky.
> Jak on to hrome ten Cimrman pocital, ze mu vyslo 1000 let??
Samozrejme za geometrii se ochotne necham vypeskovat, opravdu je mi
jedno,
zda pouziji slova "plocha" ci "povrch koule", muzeme se klidne pridrzet
euklidovskeho pojeti, i kdyz neeuklidovske by nemuselo byt od veci.
Ovsem obvinit Cimrmana z tak hloupe chyby ve vypoctu vyzaduje abnormalni
neuctu k jeho odkazu. Vas vypocet bych si sam dovolil upravit, protoze
Zeme ma obvod 40 000 km na rovniku a Viden preci jen na rovniku nelezi.
Vysvetleni je treba hledat prave ve sklonu zemske osy. Kazdy, kdo
pozoruje
vychod slunce z tehoz mista pravidelne, v lete a v zime, po case zjisti,
ze
misto, odkud slunce vyjde, se ruzni. Pak i poutnici za sluncem vyrazeli
do ruznych smeru v zavislosti na rocni dobe, presneji na sklonu zemske
osy. Cimrman pak pocital drahy techto poutniku a zjistil, ze ti, kteri
vyrazeli na svou pout v lete, smerovali vice na sever, zatimco ti, kteri
vyrazeli v zime, mirili ja jih. Jenze jak cesta probihala, rocni obdobi
se menilo a s nim i draha poutniku. Opisovali po povrchu (kdyz ne po
plose)
Zeme vlnovky a Cimrman pocital, kdy se tyto vlnovky opet protnou s
Vidni.
Bohuzel dnes, kdy lide spolehaji pri reseni podobnych uloh vice
na kalkulacky nez na vlastni schopnosti, neni uz pravdepodobne nikdo
schopen mistrovy vypocty zopakovat.
HonzaM
> H.
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 10:56:35 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Cimrman a medicina
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Jan Polacek wrote:
>
> Zdarec Moutelik,
>
> Ctvrtek Zari 09 1999 08:14, Moutelik Jan =:-v =------------> Ross
> Hedvicek:
> MJ> Ale takhle to nemuzeme nechat. Proto prechazim do ofenzivy
> MJ> a tvrdim, ze George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a Michael
> MJ> Jackson byli, jsou a budou Cesi jak poleno! Pokud nekdo
> Nemohli by sme toho Jacksona vynechat? Kdo je zvedavej na homosexualni
> geneticky odpad moderni mediciny.
>
> Cauky
> Honza đB-Q
Myslim, ze toto je velmi konzervativni nazor, dovolim si poznamenat,
ze moderni medicina, ktera dokazala udelat z Jacksona Cecha, ma urcite
velikou budoucnost, a jeji vysledky bychom meli vitat ponekud nadseneji.
Pripomenul bych, ze i Cimrman byl ve sve dobe nepochopen pro sve
experimenty v medicine, ktere dnes sice mohou vypadat ponekud
extravagantne, nicmene bezesporu posunuly vyvoj v medicine
o obrovsky kus vpred. Cimrman si dobre uvedomoval podobnost
lidskeho a veproveho tela. Bohuzel na svuj nejambicioznejsi projekt
prisiti lidske hlavy na praseci telo nenasel zadneho dobrovolnika,
ale jiz kdysi zde zminovana transplantace prasecich oci do lidske
hlavy (a odtud zname porekadlo "ma praseci oci") vypovida dost
o schopnostech Cimrmana v teto oblasti.
HonzaM
Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 05:49:41 -0700
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "H."
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Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 13:47:35 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Martin Dostal
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Kolegove,
i brnenska sekce musela dat za pravdu panu Moutelikovi.Cimrmanovi vypocty
nelze jen tak
zpochybnovat.Jara byl sice prukopnikem tzv.slepych ulicek, ale ve srovnani s
jeho dalnicemi poznani, se jedna o zanedbatelnou statisticky nevyznamnou
hodnotu.Proto povazujme nektere jarovi poucky za axiomy.Prece se vsak
vyskytlo nekolik nevericich "Tomasu" v nasi sekci, kterym tvrzeni pana
Rehacka imponovalo a nekteri byli ochotni i podpisem vlastni krvi to
stvrdit.Nicmene emoce nelze ve vede nechat pusobit, a proto strizlivejsi
cast nasi sekce, jmenovite ja, sekcni dlazdic Hofirek, skladatel Bobr,
pani Holmansova a veterinarka pro male a jeste mensi psy sl.Evicka,
vyrazila do terenu zkoumat "kolem pasu" nasi maticku Zemi.Kazdy jsme si
vytycili svou trasu s tim, ze zbytek budeme aproximovat.Na zvolene objekty
pozorovani, u kterych jsou znamy nemenne denni a stejne smery, jsme
umistili nekolik meridel a nedockave cekali na prvni vysledky.Prvni
vysledek se objevil hned druhy den, kdy nam volali od policie, ze cikan
Horvat, kteremu jsme pristroj odborne kolem pasu instalovali, byl chycen v
zastavarne, kde se toto snazil prodat jako ovladac na video za 80Kc.Na
nasi omluvu musim dodat, ze cikam Horvat byl znam svou nemennou pouti. A
to z domu na urad pro podporu, pak do hospody, pak domu, pak do hospody,
pak domu.Zadne jine odchylky ani odbocky se u nej nevyskytovaly, proto byl
jako objekt zkoumani vybran.
Dalsim zkoumanym objektem byl ing.Zemlicka, predseda predstavenstva jedne
nejmenovane banky, ktery byl znam svou pravidelnosti na trase domov, prace
,domov atd.Ani zde se to neobeslo bez problemu.Treti den nam volali z
nemocnice, odkud nam oznamili, ze si mame pro onen podivny pristroj
prijet, nebot pan ing.Zemlicka se bude jeste nejakou dobu zotavovat ze
trech naraz prodelanych infarktu.
Nechci dale ctene kolegy napinat dalsimi pripady, snad postaci zhodnoceni techto
demostracnich pripadu, ktere na 100% potvrdily cimrmanovu teorii zakrivene
usecky.
Napriklad Horvatova cesta z domu do hospody byla 40x kratsi, nez na
opak.Pristroj po Horvatove ceste z hospody zaznamenal hned nekolik spiral,
vlnovek a dokonce dva narazy, coz bylo dle popisu svedku zpusobeno tim, ze
se Horvat neobykle silne opil, pak byl pro nesolventnost vyhozen na ulici,
kde se marne dobyval do protejsich verejnych WC, kde bylo na dverich
napsano : Dnes akce, dnes pouze za 2Kc, mnozstevni slevy, vyhrejte s nami
a jine, coz si opily Horvath vylozil jako hostinec s vyhodnymi cenami.Pri
stipani dveri jej polapili zrizenci protialkoholni lecebny, a tak noc
travil Horvat na zachytce.
Cesta ing.Zemlicky zase vedla domu zase pres biliard club a night club domu, coz
bylo zase asi 30x dale.Cimrman zrejme tedy pouzival pri reseni podobnych
problemu koeficienty, zohlednujici lidskou neprimost.
Tolik tedy z Brna.
Martin Dostal
Vysvetleni je treba hledat prave ve sklonu zemske osy. Kazdy, kdo
pozoruje
vychod slunce z tehoz mista pravidelne, v lete a v zime, po case zjisti,
ze
misto, odkud slunce vyjde, se ruzni. Pak i poutnici za sluncem vyrazeli
do ruznych smeru v zavislosti na rocni dobe, presneji na sklonu zemske
osy. Cimrman pak pocital drahy techto poutniku a zjistil, ze ti, kteri
vyrazeli na svou pout v lete, smerovali vice na sever, zatimco ti, kteri
vyrazeli v zime, mirili ja jih. Jenze jak cesta probihala, rocni obdobi
se menilo a s nim i draha poutniku. Opisovali po povrchu (kdyz ne po
plose)
Zeme vlnovky a Cimrman pocital, kdy se tyto vlnovky opet protnou s
Vidni.
Bohuzel dnes, kdy lide spolehaji pri reseni podobnych uloh vice
na kalkulacky nez na vlastni schopnosti, neni uz pravdepodobne nikdo
schopen mistrovy vypocty zopakovat.
HonzaM
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 14:04:06 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
1) prosim neprepeprit a neprecesnekovat, v nadivce nepresolit, vlhcit
peroutkou, ne sprostym podlevanim
2 ) s tou tuplovane nevlastni Laurou jste mi shodil naramny kamen ze srdce
/ Boze, takovy hrich !/
(Stran tech Pravidel silnicniho provozu, mel jsem na mysli vic nez jezdeni
po anglicku a prvorepublikove na mysli zbozne prani docasneho zvyseni
umrtnosti v tamzemsku vyplyvajici z neznalosti Pravidel ceskeho jazyka)
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Monday, September 13, 1999 2:19 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
>
> Honza Rehacek wrote:
>
> >Miroslav Herman wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> Kdyz uz jsme u te biologie, jiste jste slyseli o bioastronomii, cili
> >> hledani zivacka ziveho v jinych galaxiich.
> >
> >Ja o bioastronomii skoro nic nevim, zato jsem ale slysel o
> >biogastronomii, cili hledani zivacka ziveho v NASI galaxii.
> >Podle otce teto vedecke discipliny, Jary Cimrmana, se nalezeny
> >zivacek zivy majzne palickou po hlave a jako zivacek mrtvy se
> >pak podava na smetane a s brusinkami.
> >
> >Honza
>
>
> Tak tohle je mozne jenom ve VASI galaxii. To v NASI galaxii se takovy
> mrtvacek (jak vidite, mame ve zvyku zkracovat pojmy, nebot cas jsou
> penize)
> podava do zlatova opeceny, se spenatem a bramborovym knedlikem. Alespon
> podle matky teto vedecke discipliny, zde jiz zminene Cimrmanovy nevlastni
> sestry Laury. Podle udaju ve videnske matrice byla Laura nevlastni jak z
> otcovy, tak z matciny strany, neboli (cituji matriku) "doppelnichteigene".
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 15:03:44 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Moutelik Jan
Organization: Technical University of Liberec
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-2
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Martin Dostal wrote:
>
> Kolegove,
>
> i brnenska sekce musela dat za pravdu panu Moutelikovi.Cimrmanovi vypocty
> nelze jen tak
> zpochybnovat.Jara byl sice prukopnikem tzv.slepych ulicek, ale ve srovnani s
> jeho dalnicemi poznani, se jedna o zanedbatelnou statisticky nevyznamnou
> hodnotu.Proto povazujme nektere jarovi poucky za axiomy.
......
>
> Tolik tedy z Brna.
>
> Martin Dostal
>
Dekuji timto brnenske sekci za usili, ktere vynalozila na obranu
Mistrovy Pravdy. Za vedlejsi povazuji fakt, ze tim bylo dano za pravdu
i mne, jakoz i fakt, ze ja sam mam uz nekolik desetileti trvale bydliste
v Brne.
HonzaM
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 10:58:09 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To: <7rhq7r$jo4$1@winter.news.rcn.net>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
At 11:14 PM 09/12/1999 -0400, Jack Stone wrote
>Bohumil Chalupa wrote
>
>
>> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999, Ross Hedvicek wrote:
>
>> > na rozdil od
>> > vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem proti
>> > ciganum...
>>
>> Aaaale. To uz tu vsechno mockrat bylo.
>> Na to se da rict jedine. Jdi tam bydlet.
>> Kdyz ses tak chytrej.
>
>Jen nech bejt , v porovnani s Floydem muze i mezi cikanama bejt lip . Zeptej
>se Rosti na predpoved pocasi na pristi tejden , konkretne kolem stredy :-)
Porucime vetru desti.... a seeeel Frantik okoloooo zahraaaadky....
Rosta
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 11:03:29 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Ross Hedvicek
Subject: Re: pssst
In-Reply-To: <199909120900.LAA44654@dns.terminal.cz>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
At 11:07 AM 09/12/1999 +0000, Miroslav Herman wrote
>Vous, Milan Hubacek, avez écrit ceci:
>
>>A tak to mas se vsim. Podivej se, kdo v Cesku ridil a ridi politiku nebo
>>hospodarstvi. Tohle je pravou pricinou postaveni Prahy mezi svetovymi
>>velkomesty co do vyse vydelku, jak jsi komentoval v cs-clubu (At zije Vaclav
>>Klaus! Urrraaaaa!)
>
>Mohli byste mi k tomu rici vice i mimo konferenci? Pokud takovy prispevek
>mate, rad si jej prectu!
>Diky
>
>Sincčres salutations
No pasaran!!!
Pokud si o tom chces (ci kdokoliv jiny) precist neco mimo tuhle konferenci
- tak se prihlas na uplne nejlepsi ceskou a slovenskou
konferenci/newsgroup, ktera se jmenuje CS-CLUB - a tam to vsechno je!
Staci poslat email na adresu CS-CLUB@BLACKOPS.ORG a ono vas to uz samo
prihlasi. Odhlasit se je mozno poslanim emailu na adresu
listmanager@blackops.org a do provniho radku textu napsat
unsubscribe cs-club
Uplne jednoduche - i ti blbci z Ceska to obvykle pochopi...
Rosta
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 17:34:41 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
kolego Hlavacku,
nejak se mi pocitadlo o weekendu vzpecovalo slouzit svemu prvotnimu poslani;
nasledne postradam nektere zememericske prispevky diskuse.
To nema v pase ale v bocich
Byl by ste te lasky a mne a nekterym z nas, co jsme trosku pomalejsi, radne
osvetlil, pripadne vysvetlil po prisvetleni / odpovidajicim/ co takove
mereni obnasi. Ne jen technika methody same ale tez jakeho typu lze ocekavat
topografickych prekazek a jak si pocinat v takovych situacich.
( to sem tady znal jednoho stareho zememerice, leta slouzil jeste v nemecke
jihozapadni Africe, tam co maji ty moc dlouhe vzdalenosti................
B
> ----------
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Sent: Sunday, September 12, 1999 9:31 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> --
>
> On Thu, 2 Sep 1999 01:45:38 Jan Rehacek wrote:
>
> >Tak kdyz uz vas kolega Hubacek vypeskoval za geometrii, tak ja si jeste
> >prisadim za aritmetiku. Zeme ma v pase 40000 km,
>
> A vas by mel nekdo vypeskovat za biologii.
> To nema v pase ale v bocich
>
> Bohous
>
>
> Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 17:44:13 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
kolego Hubacku,
nepravi se nekde v pramenech zda-li damy tez na tech tygrech jezdily ( aspon
jak v anglosaskych zemich rceni zvyklost pravi - ci se sport do c.&k.
monarchie tehdy jeste nedostal)
mohla by, prosim, tez pomoci s otazkou nektera z novodobych jezdkyn
obeznamena s mravy tamtez ?
B
> ----------
> From: Milan Hubacek[SMTP:hubacek@GOL.COM]
> Sent: Saturday, September 11, 1999 5:10 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> Jan Rehacek wrotnul:
>
> > Libicek, Boris wrote:
> > >
> > > > jeho sestry Luisy
> > > co si vzpominam, zvana Laurou
> > > Luisa byla tou, jez slasti prvych objeti okusiti dala mu
> >
> > Ne, ne, vypada to, ze to byla opravdu Luisa.
> >
> > Jednak se na tom shoduji prakticky vsechny dosud zverejnene
> > cimrmanologicke studie a jednak se nas vidensky dopisovatel
> > Manfred Kokoschka Pastuschi Tobolka zcela nedavno dopidil, ze
> > detsky karneval, poradany Dobrovolnym krejcovskym sdruzenim Vidne IV.
> > v roce 1877 vyhrala s velikym naskokem maska sourozencu Cimrmanovych
> > "Luisa a jeji tygr".
>
> Skutecne se zjistilo, ze Luisa mela tygra pouze jednoho, zato pry
> poradneho.
> Laura tech tygru mela podstatne vic a zle jazyky o ni tvrdi, ze pry obcas
> chytla i vlka!
>
> Milan Hubacek
>
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 18:17:02 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Mon, 13 Sep 1999 17:34:41 Libicek, Boris wrote:
>kolego Hlavacku,
>
>nejak se mi pocitadlo o weekendu vzpecovalo slouzit svemu prvotnimu poslani;
>nasledne postradam nektere zememericske prispevky diskuse.
>
> To nema v pase ale v bocich
>Byl by ste te lasky a mne a nekterym z nas, co jsme trosku pomalejsi, radne
>osvetlil, pripadne vysvetlil po prisvetleni / odpovidajicim/ co takove
>mereni obnasi. Ne jen technika methody same ale tez jakeho typu lze ocekavat
>topografickych prekazek a jak si pocinat v takovych situacich.
Nevim co mate na mysli temi topografickymi prekazkami,
ale miry Zeme se meri normalnim krejcovskym metrem,
ktery se poponasi podel rovniku, a je to popsano v
Mistrove knize: "Zememerime krejcovskym metrem", ktera
vysla uz v roce 1911. Bohuzel zatim po teto knize
patram marne.
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 19:51:58 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Omyl
to je v pase, to umi kazdy blbec
otazka zni -- kterak pres boky, coz oddeli dorostence starsi i mladsi od
muzu, dorostenky boku nezralych premerujice jiz toliko prilezitostne
B
> ----------
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Sent: Monday, September 13, 1999 7:17 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> --
>
> On Mon, 13 Sep 1999 17:34:41 Libicek, Boris wrote:
> >kolego Hlavacku,
> >
> >nejak se mi pocitadlo o weekendu vzpecovalo slouzit svemu prvotnimu
> poslani;
> >nasledne postradam nektere zememericske prispevky diskuse.
> >
> > To nema v pase ale v bocich
> >Byl by ste te lasky a mne a nekterym z nas, co jsme trosku pomalejsi,
> radne
> >osvetlil, pripadne vysvetlil po prisvetleni / odpovidajicim/ co takove
> >mereni obnasi. Ne jen technika methody same ale tez jakeho typu lze
> ocekavat
> >topografickych prekazek a jak si pocinat v takovych situacich.
>
> Nevim co mate na mysli temi topografickymi prekazkami,
> ale miry Zeme se meri normalnim krejcovskym metrem,
> ktery se poponasi podel rovniku, a je to popsano v
> Mistrove knize: "Zememerime krejcovskym metrem", ktera
> vysla uz v roce 1911. Bohuzel zatim po teto knize
> patram marne.
>
> Bohous
>
>
> Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 23:48:11 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Vous, Jan Rehacek, avez écrit ceci:
>Ja o bioastronomii skoro nic nevim, zato jsem ale slysel o
>biogastronomii, cili hledani zivacka ziveho v NASI galaxii.
>Podle otce teto vedecke discipliny, Jary Cimrmana, se nalezeny
>zivacek zivy majzne palickou po hlave a jako zivacek mrtvy se
>pak podava na smetane a s brusinkami.
Pane Rehacku, vite ze mate svuj mailer nastaveny na starsi datum,
coz znamena, ze vase maily se dostanou kamsi dolu mezi tu stare
tedy vas mail z dnesniho dne - tedy z 13/9 prisel jako z 2/9.
Jestli to neni naschval, tak si to snad opravte.
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 23:48:12 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Vous, Jan Rehacek, avez écrit ceci:
>Ja o bioastronomii skoro nic nevim, zato jsem ale slysel o
>biogastronomii, cili hledani zivacka ziveho v NASI galaxii.
Mezi tim ale byste mohli zabrousit na stranku SETI (Search of
Extra Terrestrial Intelligence), coz neni nejaky poblazneny projekt
silenych ufologu, ale docecela zajimavy vedecky projekt, ktery by
nemel zustat neznam vsem Cimrmanologum.
O co jde v kostce:
Nejvetsi radioteleskop sveta (v ARECIBO) mel za ukol prijimat z
vesmiru ruzne zareni (zasvecenejsi vysvetleni na jejich strance),
a sledovat jestli v nem neni nejaka stopa inteligentniho sdeleni:
Jde o to, ze se zjistilo, ze mezi dvema pasmy ruzneho hluku (cili
hudebniho smeti), ktery zahlcuje vesmir, existuje jakasi
skvira, ve ktere se nachazi absolutni vakuum, kterym se pripadna
zprava bude propagovat velkou rychlosti az do nevidim (cili do
nekonecna). Tedy pokud by nekdo mal vysilat inteligentni zpravu
nekam do blba (cili k nam), tak by to mel udelat prave na teto
frekvenci. Tohle zacali sledovat vedci z ARECIBA, ale po nejakem
case jim jini hosi z NASA uskripli dotace na lepsi hry.
A v tom nekdo prisel s myslenkou SETI AT HOME, tedy ze se udela
maly programek ve forme setrice obrazovky, a ze miliony malych
lidicek, kdyz budou mit pocitac zapnuty a pritom budou delat neco
jineho, tak po tu dobu jejich nevyuzity pocitac sam naskoci na
ten setric a bude pracovat pro SETI.
Dnes uz se na tom projektu podili pres milion dve ste tisic lidi.
Jak to udelat?
Nabrousit na jejich stranku, stahnout si ten setric (cca 100 Ko), a
nainstalovat ho (na PC, mac, Linux... atd). Setric obrazovky si cas
od casu stahne kousek vesmiru, a zacne ho analyzovat, jestli
nahodou nekde neni nejaka zprava (ve stylu jako ze tu nejsme sami,
ze nejsme tak uplne zazrak prirody, a ze pokud je nas tu vic, ze si
muzeme klidne dat do drzky, protoze co se na me tak divas, chces
moji fotku vole cizokrajnej?, proste ze si to konecne muzeme rozdat
jako v Hvezdnych valkach). A kdyz doanalyzuje, tak se napoji modem
do Areciba, posle jim tam, ze nic nenasel. A stahne si dalsi kolacek
k prezvykani.
Co je zajimave, ze na webu SETI se zformovaly ruzne skupiny badatelu,
a ze napriklad tam existuje skupina jako SETI.cz, a jiné, avsak
z nepochopitelnych duvodu jsem nikde nenasel
skupinu s nazvem JARA DA CIMRMANN FEDERATION (ci pod)!!!!!!
Jsem presvedcen ze na takovem projektu by JDC nemel chybet!!!!!
Jsem predvedcen, ze nase skupina by mohla prinest zajimave
podnety pro jejich badani, a jak znam mnohe cleny teto konference,
ze by i bez pricineni pocitacu, a klasickou rucni metodou mohli
vypatrat zcela neocekavanŕ mimozemska sdeleni!!!
Panove, casto mam dojem, ze pro same historicke studie (co bylo,
to bylo), nebo pro zkoumani, zda cesky narod je narodem kurev,
nebo kurevniku, (stejne tak neproduktivni) tak trochu zapominate,
ze mezitim jde zivot tak nejak kolem, a ze se kolem vas dejou veci,
nad kterymi by se JDC sam pozastavil a obiral se jimi TADY A TED!!!
S politovanim jsem napriklad konstatoval, ze si asi nikdo z vas
neprecetl clanek z MF z minuleho tydne o JDC (jeden den Ivana
Cimrmanovice) a ze zde o nem taky nikdo neporeferoval pro nase
soudruhy z Nove Emigrace. SETI je to same:zajimavy a blaznivy
vedecky projekt a tady o nem nikdo nic nevi !!!! Me se to zda tak trochu
jako ta nase sametovka - prideme s krizkem po funuse.
Takze jeste jednou, mate tam vse vysvetleno (v anglictine), dokonce
existuje i jeden cesky mirror-site, ale prelozeny jen castecne).
http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu
A nakonec jedna citace:
Posvecena budiz Prozretelnost, jenz kazdeho podarovala hrackou:
panenkou dite, ditetem zenu, zenou muze, a muzem dabla.
Victor Hugo
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 23:48:14 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum a Narod Tobe
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Vous, Jan Rehacek, avez écrit ceci:
>A taky byste se mohli dozit toho, ze na miste, kde stavala vytunelovana
>financni instituce najednou naleznete prosperujici banku.
>Vaclav Klaus nas ochranuj pred takovymi novotami!
Deda Zemlaus je novy dobrodinec-osvoboditel-osvetec naroda
Ta akce o vytunelovane financni instituci, ktera se premeni
v prosperujici banku se jmenuje NAROD TOBE.
Aby se vas takovato akce mohla tykat, musite se stat jeho osobnim
pritelem a byt byvalym soudruhem, pokud mozno z nejakeho
vyzkumneho ustavu (tedy z STB). V prvni fazi dostanete
do privatizace financni instituci na zaklade Vasich dobrych znamek
ze zkousek o kapitalistickem vydirani, ktere jste se slozili v prubehu
studia v ramci uderneho rocniku Zoji Kosmodemjanske na
VUMLU. S instituci si muzete nejaky cas hrat, a pokud se vam
jakymsi nedopatrenim, ci nestastnou nahodou dostanou miliardy
z jejiho uctu na Vas vlastni, tak pan Zemlaus navrhne ozivovaci
program, ktery nalezi v tom, ze kazda ceska hospodynka doda
do spolecne kasicky 2500 korun (vcetne starcu a nemluvnat),
a vase zkrachovala instituce je premenena na nezadluzenou
(tedy prosperujici) banku, ktera se nabidne cizimu kapitalu k
odprodeji.
Uznejte panove, ze zde mame typickou cimrmanovu metodu v
praxi, a zatim vy e zabyvate vecmi, ktere se (mozna) staly pred
osmdesati lety!!! A tady vam pod rukama utika neuveritelne
bohaty material o jeho metodach zivoucich!!!!!
Nekdo vyslovil hypotezu, ze Klaus a Zeman jsou dve mimozemske
nepratelske entity, jejichz cilem je atakovat narod s nejvyssim
komplexem nadrazenosti (tedy jeden z nejblbejsich) a udelat
z nej narod docela blby az nejzblblejsi. Dotycny narod (ten nas) pry
byl vybran pro svuj vysoky kvocient emigrability (tedy tendence
k emigraci), aby posleze svou nebetycnou blbost exportoval k
narodum jen o fous mene blbym, ale v tom spravnem poradi. Jako
druhy nejblbejsi je pry povazovan narod americky (mereno poctem
zkonzumovanych hamburgeru, poctem country&western sracek
zamorujicich prostor, poctem vybitych indianu, poctem karovanych
kosil a stetsonu, a vahou umelych vitaminu, ci zkonzumovane
koka koly (light)), a hlavne - mereno vysokym pocitem pocitu
nadrazenosti. Tim americane - jak jiste potvrdi americane nejblbejsi -
tedy ti co se stali tak rikajic americany z druhe ruky, takovi, (jak zde
nekteri z vas poukazuji) co se ukazuji jako americtejsi nez
americane nejamericanovatejsi - nouzi netrpi. Takze pozdeji
celkova blbost ovladne svet, a pak uz mimozemstane nebudou mit
zadnych prekazek k jeho ovladnuti. Reklamni TV pasma uz nebudou
muset byt prerusovana nejakymi souvislymi pribehy, ale jen jednou
nepretrzitou show (estradou), ktera bude od zacatku do konce
prehravat jen same zname country&western pisnicky (jako "Pijte Coca
Colu, je dobra"), a ty zase budou prokladany kousky klauna z
MacDonaldu a vsichni budou nosit stetsony.
Ja se osobne nemohu vyslovit k teto hypoteze, ale pripada mi
jako vysoce zajimava...
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 20:19:41 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jack Stone
Subject: Re: pssst
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Ross Hedvicek wrote in message
news:4.1.19990913105733.00bdbba0@scanlon.im1.net...
> At 11:14 PM 09/12/1999 -0400, Jack Stone wrote
> >Bohumil Chalupa wrote
> >
> >
> >> On Thu, 9 Sep 1999, Ross Hedvicek wrote:
> >
> >> > na rozdil od
> >> > vas rasistickych Cechu co stavite "keramicke" zdi v Usti nad Labem
proti
> >> > ciganum...
> >>
> >> Aaaale. To uz tu vsechno mockrat bylo.
> >> Na to se da rict jedine. Jdi tam bydlet.
> >> Kdyz ses tak chytrej.
> >
> >Jen nech bejt , v porovnani s Floydem muze i mezi cikanama bejt lip .
Zeptej
> >se Rosti na predpoved pocasi na pristi tejden , konkretne kolem stredy
:-)
>
> Porucime vetru desti.... a seeeel Frantik okoloooo zahraaaadky....
..........., mel tvare oslehane mavatky ..... :-)
>
> Rosta
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 19:14:15 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Milan Hubacek wrote:
>
> >Co kdybychom to zmerili pres Himalaje?
> >At si taky horolezec-nemrava neco uzije - pokud by ovsem nasledkem
> >nakloneni zemske kozy neslitl osklivym drskopadem nekam do udoli...
> >
> >H.
>
> Kdo to kdy slysel, aby se mira brala pres jednu ... pardon ... pres jedno
> prso? To je jako merit pres jeden bok.
I to by v zasade slo. Lide maji vicemene symetricky prurez. Muselo by
se to tedy vzit od pupiku pres bok po kostrc a ponasobit dvema.
Ale jinak si myslim, ze tady doslo k nedorozumeni. Mereni poprsi se
samozrejme provadi pres vsechna dosazitelna nadra, jejichz presny pocet
zavisi na konkretnim zivocisnem druhu, jeho stari a take na dlouhodobe
hladine zbytkove radiace v miste mereni.
To jednotne cislo u "kozy" se vztahuje pouze na vlastni akt padu
z hory (ci "kozy", podle toho jak se na to divame), nebot spadnout ze
dvou hor soucasne je, statisticky vzato, vpodstate nemozne. Jiz Jara
Cimrman si pri listovani Vyrocni zpravou Urazove pojistovny se sidlem ve
svycarskem Grosshochstettenu povsiml, ze vsechny pady vykazane za obdobi
1903-1905 se nalezaji v kolonce "pady z jedne hory", zatimco kolonka
"soubezne pady ze dvou a vice hor" zela naprostou prazdnotou.
Vzhledem k tomu, ze citovana Vyrocni zprava neni bezne dosazitelna v
siti okresnich knihoven, dovolil bych si kolegy upozornit na cenny
sekundarni zdroj - a to na Cimrmanovu obsahlou studii "Kolobeh
horolezcu v prirode", publikovanou jako soucast Almanachu polabskych
alpinistu v roce 1907.
Cimrman se zde nesnazi prosadit novou olympijskou disciplinu,
kombinujici orientacni beh s vysokohorskou cyklistikou, jak by se z
nazvu mohlo zdat, ale v nekolika na sebe nenavazujicich kapitolach
popisuje ruzne aspekty horolezectvi se zvlastnim zamerenim na pady.
Napriklad v kapitole seste se dozvime, ze pad z hory se, i pres veskere
vnejsi podobnosti, da odlisit od padu z kozy a to tak, ze spadnuvsiho
horolezce (resp. kozolezce) obratime na bricho a zjistime, zda ma na
zadech kyslikovy pristroj. Takto se da pomerne exaktne stanovit o jaky
typ padu slo, jeste pred tim nez se na misto nestesti dostavi soudni
ohledavac s moderni lekarskou technikou. V zaveru teze kapitoly pak
Cimrman jeste poznamenava, ze pokud je soudni znalec nedosazitelny,
daji se vysledky prave popsaneho predbezneho testu overit rozhlednutim
se kolem mista dopadu. Je-li na blizku hora, stali jsme se pravdepodobne
svedky padu z hory, zatimco blizkost k smrti vydesene kozy poukazuje
spise na moznost padu z kozy, popripade s kozy, jednalo-li se o padatele
s klasickym vzdelanim.
Nezkusene badatele ovsem musim varovat - zatimco padat ze dvou hor
soucasne je opravdu obtizne, spadnout soucasne z hory a z kozy se da,
jak ukazuje pripad horolezkyne Laury Wengenove, citovany Cimrmanem
v uvodu sedme kapitoly. Laura se pri jednom ze svych solovych vyletu na
Matterhorn dopustila technicke chyby a z vysky 3800m dopadla na zada
kamzici samice, popasajici se na strmem svahu. Diky sve uz znacne
pokrocile hybnosti se ale Laura na jejich zadech dlouho neohrala.
Neplanovane mezipristani vyrazilo kamzici koze dech obrazne i doslova
a po dvouhlasem a zhruba stejne vystrasenem zajeceni-zameceni uz obe
samicky padaly dal, respektive niz.
Lekarsky protokol podepsany vysokohorskym myslivcem Paulenem a
zverolekarem Verbierem pak po zasluze konstatuje, ze Laura spadla
jak z hory, tak z kozy, a ze po dopadu utrpela vazne zlomeniny druheho
a ctvrteho zebra, pocitano odshora, a to presto, ze mezi jejim hrudnim
kosem a skalnim podlozim byly hned tri kozy. Tvrdy pad vsak prezily
pouze dve. Na druhe strane mela Laura stesti, ze lezla v Alpach
a ne treba v Himalajich, kde by mohla spadnout na hrbet bengalskeho
tygra a takovy dopad by asi neprezila zadna koza.
Zaverem bych si dovolil ocitovat motto, nalezene v zahlavi citovane
studie, jez strucne a pri tom vystizne shrnuje tematiku Mistrem zde
podrobne diskutovanou, tedy "Kolobeh horolezcu v prirode":
"Horolezci pari az do rana v male hospudce na upati.
Za usvitu navlekaji lana a vydavaji se po uboci vzhuru.
A jak tak stoupaji, vino, pivo a becherovka jim stoupa do hlavy.
Na vrcholku se srazeji a ve forme obeti hor padaji zpet do udoli."
za hradeckou sekci,
Honza Rehacek
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 19:33:00 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Miroslav Herman wrote:
>
> Pane Rehacku, vite ze mate svuj mailer nastaveny na starsi datum,
> coz znamena, ze vase maily se dostanou kamsi dolu mezi tu stare
> tedy vas mail z dnesniho dne - tedy z 13/9 prisel jako z 2/9.
> Jestli to neni naschval, tak si to snad opravte.
>
> Sinceres salutations
Kolego Hermane, jak to ze neznate zakladni pravidla konspiracni
cinnosti. Pravidlo jedna: nepritel nesmi vedet kdy naslouchat.
Nehlede k tomu, ze by jednou v budoucnosti mohlo dojit k nejakemu
cimrmanologickemu objevu soucasne v nekolika sekcich a jak ja pak budu
pred mezinarodni soudni komisi v Haagu vypadat, kdyz bude kolega
Hubacek presne vedet, v kolik hodin nase sekce ten ktery objev ucinila!
With my best regards and wishes and other nonsense that an average
French speaking Czech won't have the slightest clue about,
Honza Rehacek
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 01:02:49 -0700
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
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Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 12:39:47 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum a Narod Tobe
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
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Mily pane Hermane,
protiva sam sobe s Vami v mnohem souhlasim.
Obavam se vsak, ze ani tato nejposlednejsi konstrukce nevzletne.
Jen poohlednete se do stoleti naseho : Leninove, Mussoliniove, Trotsti,
Sartrove, neco zestailinenych Roeseveltu, Hitleri a premnoha jina havet, a
to nepocitaje v to ta mracna vsech tech okresnich formatu velikosti
porucika Duba, ti vsichni nas uz predbehli, nekteri i od zeme se odlepili,
ale na konec, byt mnohy peruti prenaramne slicnych, nezvostal z nich v luftu
ani jeden.
Snad ze by nejeky potomek Premysla Orace to zkusil na pluzni radlici. To tu,
myslim, jeste nabylo. Ale zas tak kor moc nadeji bych si taky nedelal. Aji
dyby samotny Klaus byl treba kmochackem, v sombreru, a country&westrn
mandolinou z pasovce.
B
> ----------
> From: Miroslav Herman[SMTP:nowhere@TERMINAL.CZ]
> Sent: Tuesday, September 14, 1999 1:48 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum a Narod Tobe
>
> Vous, Jan Rehacek, avez écrit ceci:
>
> >A taky byste se mohli dozit toho, ze na miste, kde stavala vytunelovana
> >financni instituce najednou naleznete prosperujici banku.
> >Vaclav Klaus nas ochranuj pred takovymi novotami!
>
> Deda Zemlaus je novy dobrodinec-osvoboditel-osvetec naroda
> Ta akce o vytunelovane financni instituci, ktera se premeni
> v prosperujici banku se jmenuje NAROD TOBE.
>
> ESPACE CUBASE VST:
>
>
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 15:59:17 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: =?ISO-8859-2?Q?Honza_Havl=EDk?=
Organization: Gymnazium dr. K.Polesneho, Znojmo
Subject: reakce na "cechy cechum, narod tobe"
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Vazeni kolegove, vazene kolegyne!
Nasledujici teorie se mi jeví temer pravdiva,az na par drobnosti.
Vetrelci Zeman a Klaus povazuji zemi za misto svych odpornych
uspokojeni. Toto se deje uz od nepameti, uvazte kdo asi muze za
vyhynuti dinosauru?
Zeme je vlastne takova mimozemska pocitacova hra.Ovsem bez pocitace.
Hra ma nekolik levelu, cim vyssi, tim tezsi. Od tech nejjednodussich
(jako je stvoreni zivota, pres dinosaury, potopeni Atlantidy,
rozdeleni Rima atd.),az po ten nejtezsi z nejtezsich - udelat z CR
svetovou velmoc. Mnoho mimozemstanu se snazilo udelat tento level,
avsak beznadejne. Az jednou. Jednoho dne prisli na radu Klaus a
Zeman. Zpocatku sebejisti, vyzarujci energii a jistotou, jenze
pusobenim tohoto supertezkeho levelu chradli telesne (Klaus hubl
Zeman tloustl ) i dusevne ( Zeman zacal pit Klaus propadl sexualni
pritazlivosti ke kravatam), ale nejhorsi bylo postupne silenstvi.
Jednou, kdyz zrovna meli jeden ze svych silenych dnu, napadla
je strasna, zuby cenici, devitimetrova, slizem pokryta a pachnouci...
tipnete si co ? Ano!!! Byla to myslenka. Myslenka udelat z CR misto
svetove velmoci tu nejmene prosperujici zemi na svete!!!
A jestli neumreli, tak to delaji dodnes a ze jim to jde, co?
Tak tohle je moje verze teto jiste pravdive legendy o Zemanovi a
Klausovi.
Zastupce znojemske sekce: Honza Havlik
Korekturu provedla Tereza
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 20:02:45 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Vojta Slama
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Jasne, jasne, makame, jeden balicek za tyden !!!!
Vojta Slama
-----Původní zpráva-----
>Kdyz uz jsme u te biologie, jiste jste slyseli o bioastronomii, cili
>hledani zivacka ziveho v jinych galaxiich.
>Doufam, ze jako spravni badatele jste jiz zapojeni do hledani
>SETI@home?
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 22:31:13 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce a jine civilizace
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Vous, Vojta Slama, avez écrit ceci:
>Jasne, jasne, makame, jeden balicek za tyden !!!!
>
>Vojta Slama
No vidite pane, ja si teda dovolim jit okamzite na web SETI,
a mohli bychom tam tu skupinu ku slave JARY da CIMRMANA
zalozit, ne???
At se taky svetove zviditelni tato virtualni skupina...!!
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 23:14:41 -0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Miroslav Herman
Subject: Jara da Cimrman, inventor of S.E.T.I.
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
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Takze panove, existuje od teto chvile adresa, ktera muze prijmout
vsechny badatele a vyzkumniky jine (a zajiste lepsi) civilizace
mimo tu soucasnou popelnici (kterou jsme pojmenovali Zeme),
provizorne se jmenuje jako v titulku, adresa je tato:
http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/stats/team/team_36847.html
Abyste se mohli do skupiny prihlasit, musite byt jiz prihlaseni
na webu S.E.T.I.
Na strance skupiny jsem nechal volnou pripadnou adresu
domovske stranky, o niz doufam, ze nekdo z vas ji da k dispozici,
aby v cestine, anglictine, a jinych svetovych jazycich vsem
na svete vysvetlila ze cely projekt S.E.T.I. byl mrzkym zpusobem
okopirovan od naseho narodniho genia.
Doufam ze muzeme pocitat s Vasimi skandalnimi odhalenimi jak
nas narodni Geniu dopodrobna predpovedel jak se dovolat
k jinylm galaxiim.
Na strance SETI mate pekny vedecky clanek (i s ilustraci) o celem
principu zkoumani, a doufam, ze jim udelame clanek mnohem
zasvecenejsi, tak jak jej jiste nekdo mezi vami objevi v nejake
pozustalosti.
Ten clanek o principu radiografickeho zkoumani vesmiru je
zde:
http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/about_seti/
Na teto strance je dokonce fotografie Cimrmanova principu
dematerializace - rematerializace polevkove misy, ktera je mylne
nekterymi poblouznenymi ufology povazovana za letajici talir.
Jak jiz bylo zde referovano (viz prislusny clanek na strankach
Honzy Rehacka), tato polevkova misa zavinila havarii neviditelneho
letadla na leteckem dnu nekde v USA minuly rok.
rad bych se zeptal, zda by pan kolega Rehacek byl ochoten
rezervovat jistou cast sveho webu na pripadne prispevky na
tema Cimrman a vesmirny vyzkum.
protoze by se takova tematika tykala relativne sectele obce
vedcu a astronomu, myslim, ze by pripadne prispevky mely
byt dostatecne propracovany a zdokumentovany.
Sincčres salutations
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Miroslav Herman - Prague
ESPACE CUBASE VST:
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 04:48:08 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Jara da Cimrman, inventor of S.E.T.I.
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Miroslav Herman wrote:
> rad bych se zeptal, zda by pan kolega Rehacek byl ochoten
> rezervovat jistou cast sveho webu na pripadne prispevky na
> tema Cimrman a vesmirny vyzkum.
Nebyl - a to z duvodu casovych.
Na me strance uz je takovych ptakovin, ze jenom jejich udrzba
a aktualizace vyzaduje vice casu nez by mi bylo milo. Takze az
do odvolani zadne nove projekty neplanuju.
Nicmene doufam, ze se patrani po zivackovi zivem ujme nejaka
dobra duse, pokud mozno s relativne stihlou strankou.
Cimrman se problematikou letajiciho nadobi docela urcite zabyval,
prinejmensim v obdobi kdy pusobil jako skolnik na Stredni hotelove
skole v Karlovych Varech. Bohuzel, pracovni den nasi sekce ma pouze
25 hodin, takze o tom zatim nic vic rici nemohu.
Honza
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 18:38:13 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: pssst II.
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Aaaaa...ticho leci
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 05:03:17 -0700
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "H."
Subject: Re: pssst II.
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
-----Original Message-----
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
Date: September 15, 1999 11:41 AM
Subject: pssst II.
>Aaaaa...ticho leci
>
>Bohous
>
>
>Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 23:27:49 +0000
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jaroslav Novak
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
In-Reply-To:
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> KOlegove,
>
> i ja se hlasim do rad mapovacu klina a hned bysem chtel
> touto cestou vyzvat pritomne zeny a divky, s dosud
> nezmapovanym klinem, aby se nam samy dobrovolne
> prihlasily aby nevzniknul organizacni zmatek. Nemuzeme
> prece dopustit, abysme nektere kliny mapovali dvakrat
> nebo dokonce trikrat. Na to nemame lidi.
>
> Tak devcata, nestydte se a do toho.
> Prece se nenechate premlouvat.
Inu, asi jich je tu jeste malo... Nicmene, staci se podivat do
mailing listu konference a je hned jasno, kdo se vsechno ulejva...
Teda, krome mycky nadobicka :-))))
Jarda
HanychovaM@BM.SPT.CZ Milada Hanychova
knihovnice2@EMAIL.CZ : Knihovnice
CERNIK@FELD.CVUT.CZ Petr Cernik Service SVTI
sstodolo@FENIX.ZCU.CZ Soňa Stodolová
Lenka.Dolezalova@FF.CUNI.CZ Alena Stredova
Pomik-le@FM.VSE.CZ Lenka Pomikalkova
BADALOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Badalova
DIRLBEC@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Dirlbeckova Vera
DVORLUC@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Dvorakova
HATLOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Katerina Hatlova
JANATKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Dagmar Janatkova
KUCEROVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Katka Kucerova
KUDLACKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lenka Kudlackova
MARYSKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Marie Maryskova
SVECOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Svecova Lenka
blazkova@HUNTER.MATH.MUNI.CZ Petra Blazkova
kurfirt@HUSC.HARVARD.EDU Marie Kurfirtova
danka@LINUX.SPS-ZR.HIEDU.CZ Leonora Nováková
krcmar@MBOX.VOL.CZ Jitka KRCMAROVA
Lenka.Drabkova@MEDICON.CZ Lenka Drabkova
CIUBUCAM@MLP.CZ Ciubucanova Marcela
petrikova@NETRA.KTF.CUNI.CZ Sarka Petrikova
DAGMAR_GLASEROVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Dagmar Glaserova
HELENA_BARTONICKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Helena Bartonickova
KLARA_NOVAKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Klara Novakova
LENKA_STEPNICKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Lenka Stepnickova
MONIKA_KIZLJAKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Monika Kizljakova
PETRA_HUSKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Petra Huskova
RADKA_NECASKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Radka Necaskova
TANA_REZABOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Tana Rezabova
ja@OASYL.TGM20-SY.HIEDU.CZ Marie Jansova
anna.mikesova@OKU-ST.CZ Anna Mikesova
jaroslava.krejcova@OKU-ST.CZ Jaroslava Krejcova
Jaroslav.Novak@PEDF.CUNI.CZ Jaroslav Novak
Josef.Straceny@PEDF.CUNI.CZ Josef Straceny
DHAV7163@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Daniela Havlinova
P9@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Stepanka Odraskova
XROJKM@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Kveta Matejova
MAYEROVA@PRFNW.UPOL.CZ Adela Mayerova
HROZEK@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Dana Richtrova
KOTYZOVA@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Lucie Kotyzova
MATEJICK@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Matejickova Lenka
nowhere@TERMINAL.CZ Mycka NADOBICKA
ALENA.SUCHA@VSLIB.CZ Alena Sucha
martina.simova@VSLIB.CZ Martina Simova
>
> Bohous, gynekolog-samouk
>
>
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 06:14:04 -0700
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "H."
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
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-----Original Message-----
From: Jaroslav Novak
To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
Date: September 15, 1999 2:56 PM
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
>> KOlegove,
>>
>> i ja se hlasim do rad mapovacu klina a hned bysem chtel
>> touto cestou vyzvat pritomne zeny a divky, s dosud
>> nezmapovanym klinem, aby se nam samy dobrovolne
>> prihlasily aby nevzniknul organizacni zmatek. Nemuzeme
>> prece dopustit, abysme nektere kliny mapovali dvakrat
>> nebo dokonce trikrat. Na to nemame lidi.
>>
>> Tak devcata, nestydte se a do toho.
>> Prece se nenechate premlouvat.
>
>Inu, asi jich je tu jeste malo... Nicmene, staci se podivat do
>mailing listu konference a je hned jasno, kdo se vsechno ulejva...
>Teda, krome mycky nadobicka :-))))
>
>Jarda
>HanychovaM@BM.SPT.CZ Milada Hanychova
>knihovnice2@EMAIL.CZ : Knihovnice
>CERNIK@FELD.CVUT.CZ Petr Cernik Service SVTI
>sstodolo@FENIX.ZCU.CZ Soňa Stodolová
>Lenka.Dolezalova@FF.CUNI.CZ Alena Stredova
>Pomik-le@FM.VSE.CZ Lenka Pomikalkova
>BADALOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Badalova
>DIRLBEC@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Dirlbeckova Vera
>DVORLUC@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Dvorakova
>HATLOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Katerina Hatlova
>JANATKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Dagmar Janatkova
>KUCEROVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Katka Kucerova
>KUDLACKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lenka Kudlackova
>MARYSKO@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Marie Maryskova
>SVECOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Svecova Lenka
>blazkova@HUNTER.MATH.MUNI.CZ Petra Blazkova
>kurfirt@HUSC.HARVARD.EDU Marie Kurfirtova
>danka@LINUX.SPS-ZR.HIEDU.CZ Leonora Nováková
>krcmar@MBOX.VOL.CZ Jitka KRCMAROVA
>Lenka.Drabkova@MEDICON.CZ Lenka Drabkova
>CIUBUCAM@MLP.CZ Ciubucanova Marcela
>petrikova@NETRA.KTF.CUNI.CZ Sarka Petrikova
>DAGMAR_GLASEROVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Dagmar Glaserova
>HELENA_BARTONICKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Helena Bartonickova
>KLARA_NOVAKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Klara Novakova
>LENKA_STEPNICKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Lenka Stepnickova
>MONIKA_KIZLJAKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Monika Kizljakova
>PETRA_HUSKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Petra Huskova
>RADKA_NECASKOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Radka Necaskova
>TANA_REZABOVA@OALIB.HIEDU.CZ Tana Rezabova
>ja@OASYL.TGM20-SY.HIEDU.CZ Marie Jansova
>anna.mikesova@OKU-ST.CZ Anna Mikesova
>jaroslava.krejcova@OKU-ST.CZ Jaroslava Krejcova
>Jaroslav.Novak@PEDF.CUNI.CZ Jaroslav Novak
>Josef.Straceny@PEDF.CUNI.CZ Josef Straceny
>DHAV7163@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Daniela Havlinova
>P9@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Stepanka Odraskova
>XROJKM@PLK.MFF.CUNI.CZ Kveta Matejova
>MAYEROVA@PRFNW.UPOL.CZ Adela Mayerova
>HROZEK@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Dana Richtrova
>KOTYZOVA@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Lucie Kotyzova
>MATEJICK@STUDENT.FSID.CVUT.CZ Matejickova Lenka
>nowhere@TERMINAL.CZ Mycka NADOBICKA
>ALENA.SUCHA@VSLIB.CZ Alena Sucha
>martina.simova@VSLIB.CZ Martina Simova
>
>
>
>>
>> Bohous, gynekolog-samouk
>>
>>
>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 08:45:04 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Kolego Hlavacku,
mnohe diky za pruzracnost objasneni problemu.
B
> ----------
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Sent: Monday, September 13, 1999 7:17 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Vychod Slunce
>
> --
>
> On Mon, 13 Sep 1999 17:34:41 Libicek, Boris wrote:
> >kolego Hlavacku,
> >
> >nejak se mi pocitadlo o weekendu vzpecovalo slouzit svemu prvotnimu
> poslani;
> >nasledne postradam nektere zememericske prispevky diskuse.
> >
> > To nema v pase ale v bocich
> >Byl by ste te lasky a mne a nekterym z nas, co jsme trosku pomalejsi,
> radne
> >osvetlil, pripadne vysvetlil po prisvetleni / odpovidajicim/ co takove
> >mereni obnasi. Ne jen technika methody same ale tez jakeho typu lze
> ocekavat
> >topografickych prekazek a jak si pocinat v takovych situacich.
>
> Nevim co mate na mysli temi topografickymi prekazkami,
> ale miry Zeme se meri normalnim krejcovskym metrem,
> ktery se poponasi podel rovniku, a je to popsano v
> Mistrove knize: "Zememerime krejcovskym metrem", ktera
> vysla uz v roce 1911. Bohuzel zatim po teto knize
> patram marne.
>
> Bohous
>
>
> Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 11:57:03 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Gymnazium Zlin
Subject: PROSIM MOC
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Prosim vas, kohokoliv
jak se odhlasit z teto konference- prosim podrobny postup
Mnohokrat dekuji kazdemu kdo se slituje nad ubohym clovekem, kteremu dopisy
preplnuji schranku..
----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
Gymnazium Zlin
Lesni ctvrt 1364
761 37 ZLIN
Czech Republic
tel.: 420-67-7585111
fax: 420-67-7585504,7
-------------------------------
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 12:36:28 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tomas Vitek
Organization: SPSSE, Liberec
Subject: Re: PROSIM MOC
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Staci na list server konference poslat toto:
UNSUBSCRIBE jmeno_konference - tedy JdC-L a nebo
SIGNOFF jm_konf.
UNSUB jm_konf.
melo by to fungovat ... hodne zdaru ..Tom
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 12:39:29 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tomas Vitek
Organization: SPSSE, Liberec
Subject: Re: PROSIM MOC
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Adresa listserveru je listserv@cesnet.cz
Tom
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 12:47:32 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: uc124
Subject: Re: PROSIM MOC
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-----Původní zpráva-----
Od: Gymnazium Zlin
Komu: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
Datum: 16 September 1999 12:16
Předmět: PROSIM MOC
>Prosim vas, kohokoliv
>jak se odhlasit z teto konference- prosim podrobny postup
>Mnohokrat dekuji kazdemu kdo se slituje nad ubohym clovekem, kteremu dopisy
>preplnuji schranku..
>
>----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
>
> Gymnazium Zlin
> Lesni ctvrt 1364
>761 37 ZLIN
> Czech Republic
>
> tel.: 420-67-7585111
> fax: 420-67-7585504,7
>
>------------------------------- SER NA TO !!!
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 13:11:58 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tomas Vitek
Organization: SPSSE, Liberec
Subject: Re: PROSIM MOC
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
> >Prosim vas, kohokoliv
> >jak se odhlasit z teto konference- prosim podrobny postup
> >Mnohokrat dekuji kazdemu kdo se slituje nad ubohym clovekem, kteremu dopisy
> >preplnuji schranku..
> >
> >----------o-o-O-O-o-o----------
> >
> > Gymnazium Zlin
> > Lesni ctvrt 1364
> >761 37 ZLIN
> > Czech Republic
> >
> > tel.: 420-67-7585111
> > fax: 420-67-7585504,7
> >
> >------------------------------- SER NA TO !!!
Krasny projev
skutecne to stoji za to !!!
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 17:27:39 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Mily pane umberfielde,
se zajmem jsem si precetl Vas prispevek. Jestli mate pravdu s tim Lojzou
Jiraskovym to tvrdit nemohu.
Vase namitky stran "ruske hypothesy"vsak s Vami sdilet mohu jen s krajnimi
potizemi.
Naopak s Vami plne souhlasim ve Vasich obecnych zaverech:
> Ja nikoho omezovat nechci, ale kdyz si kazdy dela co chce - taky si pak
> za to nese nasledky. Opojeni ze svobody casto konciva neprijemnou
> kocovinou.
- az skoro temer vzdy / pustte takovych par nesvobodnych ke svobode
a sezerou se hned jak prasata - kocovina dialekticky nevyhnutelnou/ pokud se
nejde o jedincu uslechtilych jimz se dostava umeni uzivat svobody umerene, s
rozvahou, v mezich slusnosti. Ty pak muze po svobode jen mirne a jen velice
uslechtile bolet hlava.
> vyvest cimrmanologii ze scesti podobnych excesu a prominte mi ten vyraz,
> zvracenosti
a co kdyz nepromineme ?, svobodou zbroceni i zpiti
B
> ----------
> From: X Umberfield[SMTP:X.Umberfield@SEZNAM.CZ]
> Sent: Saturday, September 11, 1999 9:38 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Cechy Cechum
>
> Skutecne, mnozi stale nemaji jasno i v tak fundamentalnich a elementarnich
> otazkach, jako zda Cimrman byl ci nebyl Cech.
> Pratele, vzpamatujte se a znovu zalistujte ve svych ucebnicich
> systematicke cimrmanologie ze zakladni skoly ! Jiste, Cirmman byl
> svetoobcan, byl svetobeznik, byl internacional(-ista? fuj! to nee!!!)niho
> puvodu, byl dobyvatelem Noveho sveta, ale predevsim byl Cech ! Ano, ac
> narozen ve Vidni, po matce Rakusan, srdcem a dusi byl Cech.
> Vsem kdo pochybuji doporucuji stat S&S "Nas Jara Cimrman". I kdyz vim, ze
> budu napaden nekterymi cleny konference, znovu apeluji - toto jsou
> zakladni pravdy o JDC, ktere jsou nezpochybnitelne:
> "Jakkoli mel Jara Cimrman neklidnou krev globetrotteru, vzdy se rad vracel
> domu, do Cech. Vlastenectvi je nejvyraznejsim rysem jeho osobnosti. Pro ne
> trpel v habsburskych zalarich, pro ne se naucil temer plynne cesky. Pro ne
> - a to nejlepe osvetluje vroucnost jeho cesstvi - se dokazal rozejit i s
> nejlepsim pritelem Aloisem Jiraskem. V Cechach dosahuje Cimrmanovo zivotni
> dilo vrcholu. A nikdy nezapomel na svoji vlast - Böhmen".
> To tvrdim i ja, orthodoxni Moravak.
>
> P.S.: Cimrmanologie, at uz ta oficialni, nebo alternativni - je pomerne
> mlada veda. A zrejme nutne musi projit obdobím etremnich hypotez a slepych
> ulicek. Pripomenme si jak nedavno se zde jeden z badatelu snazil podsunout
> tezi, ze Cimrman byl Rus, ba primo iniciator VRSR v roce 1917. Ja jsem
> namital neco o nepravdepodobnosti teto teorie, ale byl jsem napaden jako
> nepritel demokracie - pry si kazdy muze psat a delat co chce. Ano -
> relativismus je pohromou celeho naseho stoleti. Ja nikoho omezovat nechci,
> ale kdyz si kazdy dela co chce - taky si pak za to nese nasledky. Opojeni
> ze svobody casto konciva neprijemnou kocovinou.
> Navzdory vsem doufam, ze genialni sila jez vyzaruje z Mistrovy osobnosti,
> dokaze nakonec vyvest cimrmanologii ze scesti podobnych excesu a prominte
> mi ten vyraz, zvracenosti.
>
> Vysvetlujici poznamka:
> Pro mladsi cleny konference upresnuji vyznam zkratky VRSR: jedna se o
> 'velkou rijnovou socialistickou revoluci'.
>
> Vas veci Jarova odkazu uprimne oddany
> X. Umberfield
>
>
>
>
> -- http://email.seznam.cz
> -- email zdarma na cely zivot
>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 17:46:07 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
>Inu, asi jich je tu jeste malo... Nicmene, staci se podivat do
>mailing listu konference a je hned jasno, kdo se vsechno ulejva...
>Teda, krome mycky nadobicka :-))))
>
>Jarda
>HanychovaM@BM.SPT.CZ Milada Hanychova
>knihovnice2@EMAIL.CZ : Knihovnice
>CERNIK@FELD.CVUT.CZ Petr Cernik Service SVTI
>sstodolo@FENIX.ZCU.CZ Sora Stodolova
>Lenka.Dolezalova@FF.CUNI.CZ Alena Stredova
>Pomik-le@FM.VSE.CZ Lenka Pomikalkova
>BADALOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Badalova
Panove kolegove,
jestli opravdu dojde k akci klin, tak ja si zamlouvam
kolegyni Badalovou. S takovym jmenem se da udelat
velka cimrmanologicka kariera.
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 11:14:21 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Petr Lauko
Organization: PVT a.s., Czech Republic
Subject: Nová fakta
Souhlasím s tebou, ľe AVC se Cimrmanovi nepodařilo zprovoznit.
Ale jistě víą to, ľe byl průkopníkem MultiTaskingu. Vlastně zprvu to byl
pouze DualTasking.
Čtecí zařízení zpracovávalo data a předávalo je pomocí tebou popsaných
komunikačních protokolů
dále aľ docházelo ke zpracování samotných instrukcí. Cimrmana velmi mrzelo,
ľe mu zbývá pouze
jedna ruka k této činnosti, nebo» druhou vyuľíval jako zabezpečovací
zařízení pro CD-ROM.
Tento nedostatek odstranil vynalezením speciálního zásobníku na CD.
Inspiroval ho africký kmen
Křováků, kteří si nechávají natahovat spodní pysk destičkami kruhového
tvaru. Čím větąí destička, tím
vyąąí postavení ve společnosti. Cimrman neprováděl tuto technickou úpravu na
sobě, poľádal jiľ tebou
zmiňovanou osobu, paní Lakatoąovou. Původně měl být CD-ROM velikosti dneąní
gramofonové desky,
ale bohuľel aplikace se nepovedla, proto přeąel Cimrman k menąím CD-ROMům.
Jakmile zvládl tento problém, jiľ mohl vytvářet sloľitějąí CD-ROMy, na
kterých byly programy pro obě ruce.
Nastal vąak daląí problém - rozhraní. Cimrmanovi trvalo zhruba rok, neľ
naučil paní Lakatoąovou rozliąovat,
která ruka je levá a která je pravá. Pak jiľ nic nebránilo rozvoji
DualTaskingu.
Po čase se ukázalo, ľe nějakým neznámým virem byla naruąena DNA pamě» paní
Lakatoąové, a ľe byly
vąechny instrukce pro obě ruce nahrazeny jednoduchým rezidentním programem.
Cimrmanovi se podařilo tento program rozkódovat. Tento program způsoboval
to, ľe jakmile paní Lakatoąová
uviděla nějakou věc, která nebyla pripoutaná řetězem, okamľitě se jí začaly
obě ruce kroutit a to do té doby,
dokud se nenacházela viděná věc v kabelce! DualTasking nebyl naruąel,
protoľe při provádění tohoto programu pracovaly obě ruce, leč omezení pouze
na jednu instrukci bylo pro Cimrmana nepouľitelné.
Cimrman byl z toho velmi zklamán. Moľná by ho potěąilo, ľe tímto jeho
nezdařeným DualTaskingem se ľiví u nás hodně cd-ROM nosičů, a to velmi
úspěąně.
Pokud máą nějaké dotazy, rád ti je zodpovím!
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 12:33:49 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Petr Lauko
Organization: PVT a.s., Czech Republic
Subject: Pro Lenku Drabkovou
Souhlasim s tebou, ze AVC se Cimrmanovi nepodarilo zprovoznit.
Ale jiste vís to, ze byl prukopnikem MultiTaskingu. Vlastne zprvu to byl
pouze DualTasking. Cteci zarizeni pracovavalo data a predavalo je pomoci
tebou popsanych komunikacnich protokolu dale az dochazelo ke zpracovani
samotnych instrukci. Cimrmana velmi mrzelo, ze mu zbyva pouze jedna ruka k
teto cinnosti, nebot druhou vyuzival jako zabezpecovaci zarizeni pro CD-ROM.
Tento nedostatek odstranil vynalezenim pecialniho zasobniku na CD.
Inspiroval ho africky kmen Krovaku, kteri si nechavaji natahovat spodni pysk
destickami kruhoveho tvaru. Cim vetsi desticka, tim vyssi postaveni ve
spolecnosti. Cimrman neprovadel tuto technickou upravu na sobe, pozadal jiz
tebou zminovanou osobu, pani Lakatosovou. Puvodne mel byt CD-ROM velikosti
dnesni gramofonove desky, ale bohuzel aplikace se nepovedla, proto presel
Cimrman k mensim CD-ROMum.
Jakmile zvladl tento problem, jiz mohl vytvaret slozitejsi CD-ROMy, na
kterych byly programy pro obe ruce.
Nastal vsak dalsi problem - rozhrani. Cimrmanovi trvalo zhruba rok, nez
naucil rozhrani rozlisovat, ktera ruka je leva a ktera je prava. Pak jiz nic
nebranilo rozvoji DualTaskingu.
Po case se ukazalo, ze nejakym neznamym virem byla narusena DNA pamet pani
Lakatosové, a ze byly
vsechny instrukce pro obe ruce nahrazeny jednoduchym rezidentnim programem.
Cimrmanovi se podarilo tento program rozkodovat. Tento program zpusoboval
to, ze jakmile pani Lakatosova uvidela nejakou vec, ktera nebyla pripoutana
retezem, okamzite se ji zacaly obe ruce kroutit a to do te doby, dokud se
nenachazela videna vec v kabelce! DualTasking nebyl narusel, protoze pri
provadeni tohoto programu pracovaly obe ruce, a to dokonce mnohem obratneji,
nez sam Cimrman predpokladal.
Cimrman byl z toho velmi zklaman. Mozna by ho potesilo, ze timto jeho
nezdarenym DualTaskingem se zivi u nas hodne cd-ROM nosicu, a to velmi
uspesne.
Pokud mas nejake dotazy, rad ti je zodpovim!
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 18:13:21 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Pro Lenku Drabkovou
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Fri, 17 Sep 1999 12:33:49 Petr Lauko wrote:
>
> Cimrmana velmi mrzelo, ze mu zbyva pouze jedna ruka k
>teto cinnosti, nebot druhou vyuzival jako zabezpecovaci zarizeni pro CD-ROM.
Kolego,
nasel jsem zajimave materialy podporujici vasi teorii.
V pramenech jsem nasel tuto poznamku, ktera skoro
urcite pochazi z Mistrova pera: "Jsem prekvapeny,
kolik zabavnych cinnosti se da provadet pouze jednou
rukou."
Zatim nevim co se tim presne myslelo, ale myslim, ze
jde o narazku na ping-pong.
ahoj, Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 15:52:09 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Subject: Re: akce KLIN
>
> jestli opravdu dojde k akci klin, tak ja si zamlouvam
> kolegyni Badalovou. S takovym jmenem se da udelat
> velka cimrmanologicka kariera.
Hlavacku, Hlavacku,
nejak se vam zapalujou lejtka. Asi vam budeme muset do podkolenek
zavest gumove hadicky, abyste se nam samym zarem nesamovznitil.
H.
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 17:11:31 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Vojta Slama
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
-----Původní zpráva-----
>Panove kolegove,
>
>jestli opravdu dojde k akci klin, tak ja si zamlouvam
>kolegyni Badalovou. S takovym jmenem se da udelat
>velka cimrmanologicka kariera.
>
>Bohous
>
>
>>sstodolo@FENIX.ZCU.CZ Sora Stodolova
>>Lenka.Dolezalova@FF.CUNI.CZ Alena Stredova
>>Pomik-le@FM.VSE.CZ Lenka Pomikalkova
>>BADALOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Badalova
>>HanychovaM@BM.SPT.CZ Milada Hanychova
>>knihovnice2@EMAIL.CZ : Knihovnice
>>CERNIK@FELD.CVUT.CZ Petr Cernik Service SVTI
a kdo si zamlouva SLECNU Petra Cernika ?????? Ehehe...
Vojta Slama
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 16:58:03 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Vojta Slama wrote:
>
> >>sstodolo@FENIX.ZCU.CZ Sora Stodolova
> >>Lenka.Dolezalova@FF.CUNI.CZ Alena Stredova
> >>Pomik-le@FM.VSE.CZ Lenka Pomikalkova
> >>BADALOVA@GYMCHEB.HIEDU.CZ Lucie Badalova
> >>HanychovaM@BM.SPT.CZ Milada Hanychova
> >>knihovnice2@EMAIL.CZ : Knihovnice
> >>CERNIK@FELD.CVUT.CZ Petr Cernik Service SVTI
>
> a kdo si zamlouva SLECNU Petra Cernika ?????? Ehehe...
> Vojta Slama
No prece kolega Pyskackova.
H.
ps. a vubec...odkud vite, ze kolega Cernik je slecna.
Treba je to pani Cernik, za svobodna Ruzicka.
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 20:21:11 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Fri, 3 Sep 1999 15:52:09 Jan Rehacek wrote:
>> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
>> Subject: Re: akce KLIN
>>
>> jestli opravdu dojde k akci klin, tak ja si zamlouvam
>> kolegyni Badalovou. S takovym jmenem se da udelat
>> velka cimrmanologicka kariera.
>
>Hlavacku, Hlavacku,
>
>nejak se vam zapalujou lejtka. Asi vam budeme muset do podkolenek
>zavest gumove hadicky, abyste se nam samym zarem nesamovznitil.
>
>H.
>
Hehehe, to jsme se nasmali.
B.
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 07:27:11 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Petr Lauko
Organization: PVT a.s., Czech Republic
Subject: Vysvetleni
Mily kolego. Kolegyne Drabkova me pozadala, abych specialne pro ni svuj
prispevek prepsal
do ponekud srozumitelnejsiho jazyka - bez hacku a carek. Temto komplikacim
jsem se radeji
vyhnul a pisu jiz rovnou bez hacku a carek.
Nemate nekdo ty univerzalni Cimrmanovske fonty???
Prosim posli mi ten tebou slibovany prispevek!
P.L.
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 11:05:05 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: akce KLIN
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Mily kolego
Stara moudrost pravi cosi o tom kdo se smeje naposled
Dale pokornou zadost; nezkancit nam vsechny gymnasialni ucastnice
konference, jen nektere.
B
> ----------
> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> Sent: Sunday, September 19, 1999 9:21 PM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: akce KLIN
>
> --
>
> On Fri, 3 Sep 1999 15:52:09 Jan Rehacek wrote:
> >> From: Bohumil Hlavacek[SMTP:hlavacekb@ANGELFIRE.COM]
> >> Subject: Re: akce KLIN
> >>
> >> jestli opravdu dojde k akci klin, tak ja si zamlouvam
> >> kolegyni Badalovou. S takovym jmenem se da udelat
> >> velka cimrmanologicka kariera.
> >
> >Hlavacku, Hlavacku,
> >
> >nejak se vam zapalujou lejtka. Asi vam budeme muset do podkolenek
> >zavest gumove hadicky, abyste se nam samym zarem nesamovznitil.
> >
> >H.
> >
>
> Hehehe, to jsme se nasmali.
>
> B.
>
>
> Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
>
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 01:46:54 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vysvetleni
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Petr Lauko wrote:
>
> Mily kolego.
Sprostaku! Co si to dovolujete. Ja nejsem zadny kolega!
Ja jsem kolegyne.
> Kolegyne Drabkova me pozadala, abych specialne pro ni svuj
> prispevek prepsal
> do ponekud srozumitelnejsiho jazyka - bez hacku a carek.
Jezusku - a kdyz uz jste teda takovej ochotnej, nemohl byste to,
prosim vas pekne, specialne pro me prelozit do nejakeho jeste
srozumitelnejsiho jazyka? Nejlepe takoveho, ktery neobsahuje
nesrozumitelna slova jako "MultiTasking", "komunikacni protokol",
"virus" nebo "aplikace". Dekuji predem, zadem, prostredkem, shora,
zdola, z prave strany, z leve strany, ukosem a sejdrem.
> Nemate nekdo ty univerzalni Cimrmanovske fonty???
My je mame u nas v sekci ve skrini, v krabici od kubanskych doutniku.
Tak jestli byste chtel, tak ja bych byla ochotna je s vama vymenit za
plakat majora Zemana - pokud ho mate. Ale nesmi se o tom dovedet sef.
Ten by zuril.
za hradeckou sekci,
Janinka, sekcni sekretarka
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 12:44:52 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Sakal
Organization: Video On Line
Subject: Co je to ta akce klin?
Můľe mi někdo říct, co je to ta akce klín, prosím !
alas@volny.cz
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 14:25:35 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: X Umberfield
Subject: Laura a jeji tygri
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain
Ano, k zamene Luisy - starsi Cirmmanovy sestry, a Laury - jeho pritelkyne a kolegyne v cirku Krakowiak, skutecne velice casto dochazi. Obe zeny hraly v Mistrove zivote velmi vyznamnou ulohu. Ale zatimco o Luise a jejich vzajemnem vztahu toho vime dnes jiz pomerne mnoho, o Laure se zatim mnoho nemluvilo. Snad vzhledem k jiste delikatnosti tohoto tematu, ktere az do dnesniho dne bylo opredeno rouskou tajemna. Proto jsem se rozhodl odhalit tuto rousku a uvrhnout svetlo na vsechna fakta, ktera se mi podarilo objevit.
Laura byla urozeneho puvodu a pochazela z puvodne bohate, ale pozdeji zchudle sicilske rodiny. Pro svoji krasu byla predurcena rodinnym klanem, aby se stala nevestou jisteho Nicoly Tortelliniho, majitele mistni tovarny na testoviny. Tento snatek z rozumu mel prinest cele jeji rodine kapital a opet ji vynest zpet na prestizni pozici spolecenskeho zebricku. Laura vsak byla nespoutane povahy a velice touzila po dobrodruzstvi. Predstava, ze by se mela vdat za temer sedesatileteho usedleho testovinoveho zbohatlika ji desila. Proto jedne noci ze zoufalstvi utekla z domu aby unikla nelitostnemu osudu a na voze kocovnych komediantu prijela az do mesta Castell Sebastiano. Tam se stala tanecnici v santanu. Jeji vystoupeni vsak nesly pecet osobiteho umeleckeho pristupu, nebot Laura se snazila do sveho tance zaaranzovat ruzne inovativni prvky, jako napriklad simi, charleston a step. Prave ve stepovani byla neprekonatelna - dokazala napodobit treba charakteristicky zvuk motocyklu, chrestys!
e, lokomotivy nebo stada slonu. Povest o jejim nevsednim umeni se brzy roznesla a ziskala ji mnoho obdivovatelu. To ale pro ni bylo zaroven nebezpecne, nebot chapadla rodinne mafie ji tak mohla snadno odhalit. Proto nevahala a prijala nabidku cirku Krakowiak, ktery pres Castell Sebastiano projizdel v zaveru sveho italskeho turne. Po nekolika vystoupenich Krakowiak Apeniny opustil, aby zamiril do Vidne. Cirkus v te dobe utrpel tezkou ztratu umrtim krotitele tygru, ktery podlehl nakaze strevniho tyfu. Laura se chopila prilezitosti, a neohrozene se nabidla rediteli cirku jako nova krotitelka. Reditel zprvu vahal, ale kdyz zjistil, ze tygri maji pred Laurou prirozeny respekt, souhlasil. Uspech Laury a jejich tygru byl obrovsky, a kdyz prece jen nektera z kocicek zacala zlobit, Laura svym stepovanim napdobila stado slonu zenoucich se busi, a tygrici zkrotli a pokorne lehali pod jejim bicem.
Ve videnskem Pratru do cirku prichazi mlady Jara Cimrman, ktery rovnez utikal pred osudem, deprimovan potupnym systemem c.& k. skolstvi, ktere nedopravalo rozletu jeho geniu. Prijal misto krmice plazu a pozdeji vystupoval s akrobatkou Zinajdou. O jeho panoptiku lojovych figurin, ktere vybudoval na zimni prestavce v Nairobi se muzeme docist v jinych pramenech. Ovsem ani tento projekt ho nemohl natrvalo uspokojit, znovu hledal novou oblast pro uplatneni svych napadu. V te dobe dochazi k blizsimu seznameni s Laurou, nebot jeden z tygru zacal trpet silnou paradentozou a Cirmman se projevil jako schopny stomatolog kockovitych selem. Jako narkozu pouzival perskou tyc a misto zubarskych klesti kliku od navijaku opony.
Tim si ziskal silne Lauriny sympatie a dluzno podotknout, ze take ona mu jako krotitelka imponovala. Cimrman mel pro emancipacni snahy tehdejsich zen pochopeni a sam ho podoporoval. Kdo vi, jak by to nakonec dopadlo, nebyt ztroskotani parniku Garibaldi, kterym se ansambl prepravoval pres stredozemni more. Protoze kdyby Jara Cimrman upadl do osidel stavu manzelskeho, rozhodne by nemohl rozvinout svoji genialitu do takove miry jako ve stavu svobodnem, ktery si vsak od te doby jiz uzkostlive strezil.
Laura vsak rizenim osudu mezi temi, kteri se zachranili a prezili potopeni parniku, nebyla. Cimrman se s tim brzy vyrovnal za pomoci psychoanalyzy, a na Lauru a jeji tygry pozvolna zapominal, jsa zamestnan horecnou praci pro blaho lidstva.
Tim ale pribeh Laury nekonci. Po mnoha letech Cimrman prednasel na Svetovem kongresu magie a eskamoterstvi v Milane, kde se predvadel mimo jine svoje pusobive cislo nazvane "cesta zazivacim traktem", ktere demonstroval sam na sobe pomoci nekolika varenych spaget vzajemne navazanych na sebe, takze tvorili dlouhy provazek. Pro toto cislo mu neznama obdivovatelka poslala balicek spaget vlastni vyroby. Byly to spagety znacky "Tygros" a pochazely od firmy Laura Tortellini. Toho si Cimrman vsiml, a bylo mu to podezrele, ale kdyz se po svem vystoupeni z neznamou ctitelkou setkal, zjistil ke svemu uzasu, ze to je Laura. Ta mu vypovedela, jak se vse sebehlo. Pri srazce parniku Garibaldi s minou se prece jen zachranila - podarilo se ji uplavat na baliku plachtoviny z cirkusoveho stanu. Bohuzel ji vsak vitr zanesl jinym smerem nez Cimrmana a ostatni zachranene. Kdyz priplula k pobrezi, najit Cimrmana, ktery se mezitim lecil u Sigmunda Freuda, se jiz uz nepodarilo.
Vratila se tedy zpatky do rodneho mestecka, a kdyz zjistila, ze jeji napadnik Nicolo Tortellini lezi na smrtelnem lozi, rozhodla se zmenit svuj puvodni umysl a prece jen si jej vzit. Druhy den po svatbe tovarnik zemrel a Laure po nem zustala tovarna na testoviny, jejiz prosperitu behem nekolika let znasobila. Kdyz se stala nejbohatsi obcankou mesta, vykoupila zpet zchatraly zamecek, ktery kdysi patril jeji rodine a ktery nechala opravit a prestehovala se do nej. Pak si zakoupila deset mladych tygru, a kdyz prave nebyla zamestnana rizenim tovarny, venovala se jejich drezure. Nedelala to vsak jiz pro vydelek, nybrz jako rozmar a kratochvili.
Romanticke setkani po mnoha letech vyvrcholilo Laurinou zadosti, zda by ji Cimrman nemohl navstivit v jejim sidle a tak jako kdysi se podivat na zoubky jejim novym tygrum. Cimrman ochotne souhlasil. Zda ale svoji cestu k Laure opravdu vykonal, to nevime. Listky na vlak z Milana si jeste koupil, ale dal jeho stopa konci.
-- http://email.seznam.cz
-- email zdarma na cely zivot
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 17:55:25 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Vysvetleni
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Sat, 4 Sep 1999 01:46:54 Jan Rehacek wrote:
>My je mame u nas v sekci ve skrini, v krabici od kubanskych doutniku.
>Tak jestli byste chtel, tak ja bych byla ochotna je s vama vymenit za
>plakat majora Zemana - pokud ho mate. Ale nesmi se o tom dovedet sef.
>Ten by zuril.
>
>za hradeckou sekci,
>
>Janinka, sekcni sekretarka
>
Mohl bych se zeptat kolik je Janince let a jak se
jmenuje celym jmenem?
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 18:04:51 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Co je to ta akce klin?
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
--
On Wed, 22 Sep 1999 12:44:52 Sakal wrote:
>My>e mi nlkdo xmct, co je to ta akce klmn, prosmm !
>
>alas@volny.cz
>
To se budou mapovat kliny vsem ucastnicim kkonference.
Jejich seznam tady probehnul asi pred tydnem.
Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 19:06:11 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Laura a jeji tygri
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X Umberfield wrote:
>
> Vratila se tedy zpatky do rodneho mestecka, a kdyz zjistila, ze jeji
> napadnik Nicolo Tortellini lezi na smrtelnem lozi, rozhodla se zmenit
> svuj puvodni umysl a prece jen si jej vzit.
Cili v novodobe terminologii: podepsala s nim opozicni smlouvu.
> Druhy den po svatbe tovarnik zemrel a Laure po nem zustala tovarna na
> testoviny, jejiz prosperitu behem nekolika let znasobila.
Zde je dluzno podotknout, ze ke znasobene prosperite pomohlo Laure
predevsim Cimrmanovo turbovrtulove rotacni krajedlo spaget, zhotovene
ze stareho, lec funkcniho flasinetu typu Hunten-Schlager. Diky tomuto
zazraku moderni potravinarske technologie dokazala Laura zkratit delku
spaget z puvodnich cca 18 km na snesitelnych 35 cm, cimz zvysila jejich
konkurenceschopnost na dosti presycenem italskem testovinovem trhu.
Pripomenme si, ze puvodni Tortelliniho zavod obdrzel za celou dobu sve
existence pouze jedinou zakazku - od vystredniho prumyslnika Umberta
Togliattiho - a tu muselo na sever Italie dotahnout ctyrsprezi obzvlaste
svalnatych byku. Tortelliniho osmnactikilometrova spageta se po doruceni
tahla z Milana (tedy presneji "z Mila'na" - aby to nevypadalo, jako ze
se snazim narknout kolegu Hubacka z nestridmeho pozivani testovin) az do
maleho mestecka Cinisello a pouha jeji ostraha pred havrany, polnimi
hlodavci a nenechavymi vesnicany stala Togliattiho nemale penize.
Ani soukroma ochranka, slozena z nejsrdnatejsich milanskych karabinieru,
ovsem nedokazala spagetu pred zneuctenim ochranit a tak se pri jeji
slavnostni konzumaci delniky Togliattiho automobiloveho zavodu ukazalo,
ze cely cirka petikilometrovy usek mezi vesnicemi Riccione de la Fabria
a Castellanza byl kymsi zaludne sezran a nahrazen retizkem na sebe
navazanych tkanicek od bot. Prestoze ceta autolakyrniku, nespokojene
prezvykujicich nedovarene tkanicky, vehementne protestovala a pozadovala
vysetreni celeho skandalu, po pachatelich nezustala ani stopa. Teprve po
mnoha letech se k teto akci prihlasila sicilska teroristicka organizace
Giovani Esploratori a tim jak se zda historie Tortelliniho superspagety
definitivne konci.
A zaverem jeste jedna prosba technickeho charakteru: nemohl byste, pane
kolego J.G. Umberfielde (*), sve prispevky taktez prohnat rotacnim
krajedlem spaget? Nevim jak jsou na tom ostatni, ale mne ty vase radky
pri zobrazeni vybihaji z prislusneho okenka do okolniho prostoru, odkud
je pak musim mysi nahanet zpatky na obrazovku.
s pozdravem,
Honza Rehacek
(*) nejste nahodou pribuzny znameho dolnorakouskeho skladatele lidovych
pisni - Johanna Georga Umberfielda?
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 19:15:23 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Vysvetleni
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Bohumil Hlavacek wrote:
>
> Mohl bych se zeptat kolik je Janince let a jak se
> jmenuje celym jmenem?
Janinka oslavila 9. zari sve dvaadvacate narozeniny.
No, s tim jmenem je to trochu choulostiva zalezitost.
Ona se tedy celym jmenem jmenuje Jana Kosoctvereckova,
ale zda se, ze se za sve prijmeni trochu stydi, nebot
nas ihned po nastupu na misto sekretarky pozadala, abychom
ji oslovovali pouze "Janinko" namisto v cimrmanologickych
kruzich bezneji pouzivaneho "kolegyne Kosoctvereckova".
Pokud ji chcete psat nejake milostne dopisy, tak vas musim
ubezpecit, ze je to divka mile povahy a vsestrannych zajmu.
Zajima se napriklad o televizni programy, o prohlizeni modnich
casopisu a ve volnych chvilich se obetave venuje vytrhavani
prerostlych brv ze sveho uzoulinkeho oboci. Zkratka partie pro vas.
Hodne zdaru,
Honza Rehacek
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 11:55:28 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: "Libicek, Boris"
Subject: Re: Laura a jeji tygri
MIME-Version: 1.0
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> ----------
> From: Jan Rehacek[SMTP:honza@TRAIL.COM]
> Sent: Sunday, September 05, 1999 1:06 AM
> To: JDC-L@CESNET.CZ
> Subject: Re: Laura a jeji tygri
>
> X Umberfield wrote:
moment, moment kolego Umberfielde -- zadne tutlani faktu ve vedeckych
kruzich trpeno nebude -- jak to bylo s tim jezdenim na tech tygrech prosim?
V sedle, bez sedla, obkrocmo, ze strany..... s udidlem v hube ci bez nej
.....tvari ve smeru jizdy ci naopak..........atd.atd. Ven s tim !
> >
> > Vratila se tedy zpatky do rodneho mestecka, a kdyz zjistila, ze jeji
> > napadnik Nicolo Tortellini lezi na smrtelnem lozi, rozhodla se zmenit
> > svuj puvodni umysl a prece jen si jej vzit.
>
> Cili v novodobe terminologii: podepsala s nim opozicni smlouvu.
>
> > Druhy den po svatbe tovarnik zemrel a Laure po nem zustala tovarna na
> > testoviny, jejiz prosperitu behem nekolika let znasobila.
>
>
> * Stejne tak Bozenka, po vidensku zvana Mici ,dokud jeste slapala,
> pozdeji jiz ako hlavou velice uspesneho podniku/z vlastnich slz a potu a
> ledasceho jineho vydreneho/zvana Laurou. Provozovna ale i tez jine
> nemovitosti na Kartner strasse v te dobe jiz ozdobou krajanskeho nadani a
> talentu a umen nejen v oblasti podnikani ale i remesel.
> * Mistr, co cert nechtel, mel u Velke Laury protekci /stran te
> babicky?/.
> * V te dobe uz bylo snad verejnym tajemstvim ze Laura se venuje ciste"
> to management " a umeny provozuje toliko jako konicka vyzkumneho
> charakteru.
> * Mistr, z dobre vule , osel, prizval k prodlouzeni slavnosti dne
> sveho spolubadatele prave do podniku Velke Laury coz se mu nakonec stalo
> osudnym. Jeste nevyzraly Heinsenberg, zblbly z mladi, z mladeho
> grincingskeho a vedeckeho zaniceni predne; podlehnul naprosto svym
> nekontrolovatelnym badatelskym ,vedeckym a jinym impulsum toliko na
> zaklade akustickych effektu vychazejicich z budoiru Laury kdyz u ni prave
> Mistr dlel navstevou.
> * I seriozni videnske listy nasledneho dne uvadely fakt Mistrova
> zakleti do souvislosti s jeho navstevou divcich skol 1. & 2. stupne.
>
Kruci, ktera Laura to byla ? Nezacina jich byt nejak moc ?
Udelejte v tech Laurach, prosim, nekdo poradek a usetrte me muk nejistot.
> Zde je dluzno podotknout, ze ke znasobene prosperite pomohlo Laure
> predevsim Cimrmanovo turbovrtulove rotacni krajedlo spaget, zhotovene
> ze stareho, lec funkcniho flasinetu typu Hunten-Schlager. Diky tomuto
> zazraku moderni potravinarske technologie dokazala Laura zkratit delku
> spaget z puvodnich cca 18 km na snesitelnych 35 cm, cimz zvysila jejich
> konkurenceschopnost na dosti presycenem italskem testovinovem trhu.
>
> Pripomenme si, ze puvodni Tortelliniho zavod obdrzel za celou dobu sve
> existence pouze jedinou zakazku - od vystredniho prumyslnika Umberta
> Togliattiho - a tu muselo na sever Italie dotahnout ctyrsprezi obzvlaste
> svalnatych byku. / o voly byvala tehdy jeste velika nouze/ Tortelliniho
> osmnactikilometrova spageta se po doruceni
> tahla z Milana (tedy presneji "z Mila'na" - aby to nevypadalo, jako ze
> se snazim narknout kolegu Hubacka z nestridmeho pozivani testovin) az do
> maleho mestecka Cinisello a pouha jeji ostraha pred havrany, polnimi
> hlodavci a nenechavymi vesnicany stala Togliattiho nemale penize.
>
> Ani soukroma ochranka, slozena z nejsrdnatejsich milanskych karabinieru,
> ovsem nedokazala spagetu pred zneuctenim ochranit a tak se pri jeji
> slavnostni konzumaci delniky Togliattiho automobiloveho zavodu ukazalo,
> ze cely cirka petikilometrovy usek mezi vesnicemi Riccione de la Fabria
> a Castellanza byl kymsi zaludne sezran a nahrazen retizkem na sebe
> navazanych tkanicek od bot. Prestoze ceta autolakyrniku, nespokojene
> prezvykujicich nedovarene tkanicky, vehementne protestovala a pozadovala
> vysetreni celeho skandalu, po pachatelich nezustala ani stopa. Teprve po
> mnoha letech se k teto akci prihlasila sicilska teroristicka organizace
> Giovani Esploratori a tim jak se zda historie Tortelliniho superspagety
> definitivne konci.
Tradice vsak ustavena. Stejnou technikou se ted kradou telefonni
draty, enomze s tema snurkama od bot se uz nikdo nezdrzuje / stejne je mozno
krast hlinikove zabradli z mostu atd.; dokonce nam tady prerizli statnika/
statnici, ci co to bylo, vejpul, bronzovou, a prodali do srotu - cimz jsme
se timto cinem zaradili znovu mezi prvni zeme sveta jejichz statnici jsou
prerezavani verejne, nezistne, pro obecne blaho. Coz nas tady vsecny naramne
tesi a jsme na sve schopne spoluobcany nemalo hrdi.
> A zaverem jeste jedna prosba technickeho charakteru: nemohl byste, pane
> kolego J.G. Umberfielde (*), sve prispevky taktez prohnat rotacnim
> krajedlem spaget? Nevim jak jsou na tom ostatni, ale mne ty vase radky
> pri zobrazeni vybihaji z prislusneho okenka do okolniho prostoru, odkud
> je pak musim mysi nahanet zpatky na obrazovku.
>
> s pozdravem,
>
> Honza Rehacek
>
> (*) nejste nahodou pribuzny znameho dolnorakouskeho skladatele lidovych
> pisni - Johanna Georga Umberfielda?
B
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 12:21:11 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Karel Oliva
Subject: Hlavackuv ping-pong (pching pchang, je to teda cinsky)
Kollego Hlavacku,
kdyz vyslovujete hypothesu
"Jsem prekvapeny,
>kolik zabavnych cinnosti se da provadet pouze jednou
>rukou."
>
>Zatim nevim co se tim presne myslelo, ale myslim, ze
>jde o narazku na ping-pong.
tak mi nezbyva nez se zeptat, jestli jste ten ping pong nekdy v zivote
hral. Jako ze proti Vasi thesi hovori ... no zkratka, Cimrman asi musel
myslet neco jineho, nebot - jak byste pouze jednou rukou serviroval ? Ze
byste si treba teda v te zabavne cinnosti pomahal i usty - ze byste, minim,
vzal ten micek do ust a pak ho zase prudce vyplivl (misto obvyklejsiho
nadhozu) ? To se mi nezda, protoze je tu realne nebezpeci, ze byste ho taky
oslintal, a pak by neslo davat ruzne false (nebo je to naopak ucel ?)
karel oliva
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 13:07:43 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Martin Rais
Subject: Re: Hlavackuv ping-pong (pching pchang, je to teda cinsky)
In-Reply-To: <199909231022.MAA19559@top.coli.uni-sb.de>
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> >Zatim nevim co se tim presne myslelo, ale myslim, ze
> >jde o narazku na ping-pong.
>
> tak mi nezbyva nez se zeptat, jestli jste ten ping pong nekdy v zivote
> hral. Jako ze proti Vasi thesi hovori ... no zkratka, Cimrman asi musel
> myslet neco jineho, nebot - jak byste pouze jednou rukou serviroval ? Ze
> byste si treba teda v te zabavne cinnosti pomahal i usty - ze byste, minim, vzal
> ten micek do ust a pak ho zase prudce vyplivl (misto obvyklejsiho nadhozu) ? To
> se mi nezda, protoze je tu realne nebezpeci, ze byste ho taky oslintal, a pak by
> neslo davat ruzne false (nebo je to naopak ucel ?)
> karel oliva
Vazeny kolego Olivo,
Jednou jsem se setkal s clovekem, ktery nemel ani jednu ruku
(resp. mel takove nejake zakrnele pahyly zdeli nadlokti, zakoncene
zhruba centimetrovym castecne pohyblivym vyrustkem) a ten hral ping pong,
jak rikate, na velmi dobre urovni.
Serviroval tak, ze si palku a micek polozil vedle sebe na stul, sebral
mezi pahylky micek, nadhodil ho, rychle sebral palku a hral.
Jmenoval se tusim Fiser, ucil me kdysi matematiku na strojarne v Praze.
Vsak i Jara Cimrman rikaval: Vsechno jde, kdyz se chce.
Teto teze vyuzil pri vynalezu naramkovych hodinek na volni pohon,
ktere vynalezl za sveho pobytu ve vezeni pro dluzniky v Linci.
V temne kobce (tehdejsi CK mocnarstvi dluzniky nijak nesetrilo)
nemel zadnou moznost orientace v case, coz ho pochopitelne
velmi iritovalo. Sestrojil tedy z casti podrazky, trisky z postele
a dvou slamek ze slamniku vyse uvedene hodiny. Mely jedinou vadu:
Ve tme cely nebylo videt na cifernik.
To dovedlo Cimrmana k badani v oblasti fosforu, ktere realizoval po propusteni
z vezeni a ktere zahajilo tzv. horlave obdobi jeho kariery.
Horlave obdobi vice mene volne prechazi v obdobi vybusne (nekteri
odbornici dokonce obe obdobi slucuji pod nazvem horlave-vybusne).
Z vynalezu lze jmenovat napr. dynamit (dve hodiny po Nobelovi).
Zdravim
Martin Rais
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 13:41:56 MET-DST
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Hajek Jiri
Subject: HELP
Jiri Hajek
E-mail:hajek@gymcheb.hiedu.cz
School:Gymnazium Cheb
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 18:42:50 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Hlavackuv ping-pong (pching pchang, je to teda cinsky)
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--
On Thu, 23 Sep 1999 13:07:43 Martin Rais wrote:
>Serviroval tak, ze si palku a micek polozil vedle sebe na stul, sebral
>mezi pahylky micek, nadhodil ho, rychle sebral palku a hral.
Jasny! Ja to tak taky nekdy delam. Polozim palku na stul,
hodim micek do vzduchu, seberu palku a jedu. To akorat
vedci s tim maj problemy.
>Horlave obdobi vice mene volne prechazi v obdobi vybusne (nekteri
>odbornici dokonce obe obdobi slucuji pod nazvem horlave-vybusne).
>Z vynalezu lze jmenovat napr. dynamit (dve hodiny po Nobelovi).
To ale vynalez dve hodiny po Nobelovi prave proto, ze
se mu zastavily ty slameny hodinky, protoze na ne
ve tme nevidel a myslel si ze porad jdou. A rano si
tim padem zapsal spatnej cas, takze si myslel, ze
vynalez dynamit dve hodiny po Nobelovi, ale ve
skutecnosti to bylo dve hodiny pred Nobelem. Jenomze
mu to nikdo nechtel verit.
Ahoj, Bohous
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Sun, 5 Sep 1999 02:36:59 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Re: Laura a jeji tygri
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Libicek, Boris wrote:
>
> Kruci, ktera Laura to byla ? Nezacina jich byt nejak moc ?
A bude jeste hur, pane kolego.
V kronice jicinskeho literarne-osvetoveho krouzku "Komenskeho vnoucata"
jsme nalezli tuto zdanlive nevinnou poznamku: "Dnes k nam prijede na
navstevu z Prahy laurea't Cimrman".
No - nedalo nam to a nahledli jsme do Ottova slovniku naucneho, abychom
zjistili presny vyznam slova "laureat" a docetli jsme se toto:
"laureat - osoba majici co do cineni s jednou ci vice Laurami"
Takze pozor, ono by jich pripadne mohlo byt hned nekolik.
> Udelejte v tech Laurach, prosim, nekdo poradek a usetrte me muk nejistot.
Delat v Cimrmanovych Laurach poradek si netroufam, ale alespon bych si
dovolil vyslovit hypotezu, ze nevlastni sestra Laura, zminena kolegou
Hubackem, horolezkyne Laura Wengenova, o ktere jsem referoval minuly
tyden a konecne krotitelka Laura Tortelliniova, diskutovana kolegou
Umberfieldem je jedna a tataz osoba.
Nejprve k nevlastni sestre. Kolega Hubacek uvadi, ze Laura byla
Cimrmanovou nevlastni sestrou jak z otcovy, tak z matciny strany.
Jak je to mozne? Nejsem sice odbornik na rodinne vztahy, ale myslim,
ze nejprirozenejsi vysvetleni je, ze Cimrmanovi i Laurini rodice se
rozvedli a preparovali se.
Jelikoz rodice Laury Wengenove se rozvedli zcela prokazatelne, soudim,
ze nejpravdepodobnejsi scenar je tento: pan Leopold Cimrman si po
rozvodu vzal pani Wengenovou, zatimco pan Wengen se ozenil s pani
Marlene Cimrmanovou. Takto se tedy Laura stala Jarovou nevlastni sestrou
z otcovy i matciny strany soucasne. Teoreticky by bylo jeste mozne, ze
pan Cimrman by si vzal pana Wengena a pani Cimrmanova pani Wengenovou,
ale obavam se, ze Viden na prelomu stoleti nebyla pro podobne varianty
dostatecne liberalni.
Ma-li nekdo alternativni vysvetleni skutecnosti, ze Laura byla
Jarovou nevlastni sestrou z otcovy i matciny strany, je nacase s nim
verejne vystoupit.
Pri dodatecnem studiu priciny padu Laury Wengenove z Matterhornu jsme
dale vypatrali, ze Laura pouzivala misto zajistovaciho lana superdlouhe
spagety italskeho podnikatele Tortelliniho a byla tudiz pravdepodobne
jeho zenou, nebot jedina spageta, kterou kdy Tortellini nekomu prodal
putovala do Milana. Jako jeho zena vsak Laura mela klice od zavodni
komory a tam byly spaget cele kilometry. Vypujcit si par set metru
spaget tak pro ni nebylo zadnym problemem a to se ji stalo osudnym.
Prumerna spageta ma totiz podstatne mensi nosnost nez lyko. Mensi
nosnost ma podle Cimrmanovych prepocitavacich tabulek pevnosti uz snad
jen vystydla hrachova kase.
A tim dnesni minisymposium na tema "Uloha Laury v Cimrmanove zivote"
koncim a uvolnuji recnicky pultik dalsim potencialnim laurologum.
H.
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 08:10:45 CET
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Polacek
Organization: Daemon's Gate
Subject: Co je to ta akce klin?
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Zdarec Sakal,
Streda Zari 22 1999 12:44, Sakal =:-v =------------> All:
S> Můľe mi někdo říct, co je to ta akce klín, prosím !
Co si takhle precist stary zpravy?
Cauky
Honza đB-Q
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 11:36:44 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohuslav Konecny
Subject: Re: Co je to ta akce klin?
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>Subject: Co je to ta akce klin?
> S> Mule mi nekdo rict, co je to ta akce klin, prosim !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
V podstate jde o akci velmi chudych cimrmanologu, kteri chteji zkusit
vytloukat klin klinem a pro tuto akci sestavili tym asistentek. Neni
vsak zrejme, zda u konkretniho vytloukani bude potrebna asistentka
jedna, ci vzdy cely tym.
Bohous II.
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 17:22:08 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Co je to ta akce klin?
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--
On Fri, 24 Sep 1999 11:36:44 Bohuslav Konecny wrote:
>V podstate jde o akci velmi chudych cimrmanologu, kteri chteji zkusit
>vytloukat klin klinem a pro tuto akci sestavili tym asistentek. Neni
>vsak zrejme, zda u konkretniho vytloukani bude potrebna asistentka
>jedna, ci vzdy cely tym.
> Bohous II.
>
Cim vic asistentek tim lip. Ale kde je vzit?
Bohous I.
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 21:42:19 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: =?iso-8859-1?Q?Vojta_Sl=E1ma?=
Subject: Re: Hlavackuv ping-pong (pching pchang, je to teda cinsky)
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Ty mas taky pahyly ? :-)
Vojta Slama
-----Původní zpráva-----
>>Serviroval tak, ze si palku a micek polozil vedle sebe na stul, sebral
>>mezi pahylky micek, nadhodil ho, rychle sebral palku a hral.
>Jasny! Ja to tak taky nekdy delam. Polozim palku na stul,
>hodim micek do vzduchu, seberu palku a jedu. To akorat
>vedci s tim maj problemy.
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 21:59:44 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: =?iso-8859-2?Q?Vojta_Sl=E1ma?=
Subject: Genius mezi nami ?
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No nazdar.
Po delsi necinnosti jsem se rozhodl take zapojit do debaty.
Porad se tu omilaji Mistrovy genialni napady, vynalezy atd.
Proc se ale nikdo nezajima o Jarovy potomky ? Je vedecky
dokazano, ze tvz. Jarovy geny* jsou dedicne a tudiz i v soucasne dobe
muzeme nalezt mezi nami Mistrovy potomky se stejnou vynalezavosti
a objevitelskym duchem jako mel sam Jara !
Proto se ptam, proc rozebirat minulost, kdyz tu mame ZIVE Jarovy
potomky, kteri jiste jsou i mezi nami ???
*Jarovy geny, jsou geny ktere nahodou obevil sam Jara Cimrmann,
kdyz zkoumal pod lupou vzorek sve zaschle krve, kdyz se poranil pri
dojeni kravy. Tyto geny zpusobji extremni vynalezavost, kterou Jara
trpel....
Je zcela nemozne, ze by se do jeho krve dostaly tyto geny od jiz zminovane
kravy ale vyloucit to nemuzeme.
Za Otrokovickou sekci
Vojta Slama
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 19:39:54 +0100
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Bohumil Hlavacek
Organization: Angelfire (http://email.angelfire.com:80)
Subject: Re: Hlavackuv ping-pong (pching pchang, je to teda cinsky)
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--
On Thu, 23 Sep 1999 21:42:19 =?iso-8859-1?Q?Vojta_Sl=E1ma?= wrote:
>Ty mas taky pahyly ? :-)
>
>Vojta Slama
>
Ja ne ale ty je budes brzo mit
jestli budes mit takovyhle kecy.
B.
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 00:09:16 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: ...and now for something completely different
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Vazeni kolegove,
pred casem mi napsal jisty Skot jmenem Arthur Lawrie, ze ho zaujal
cimrmanologicky material a ze take neco objevil. Ovsem pak se odmlcel,
takze jsem si myslel ze na celou zalezitost zapomnel. No, nezapomnel.
V patek jsem obdrzel email, jehoz rozsah a uroven mi, priznavam se
bez muceni, vyrazily dech.
Drive nez se na ten prispevek podivame, dovolim si ocitovat jeden
zajimavy odstavecek z pruvodniho dopisu.
> From: "Lawrie, Arthur"
> To: "'honza@trail.com'"
>
> ...
> I enjoyed reading the Cimrman material, one reason being that I am
> always curious to know how others view this island nation (I grew up
> reading foreign magazines, specifically for this reason). The two
> references to English people (both by JS) are revealing because, being
> fictitious, the author is free to show their perceptions. The character
> "Sir Malcolm Greggs, a famous English crocodile hunter" is an instantly
> recognisable stereotype, with an appropriate name too, except that his
> name is actually Scottish! I also note that "English cyclist Robert
> Cripps" shares his name (again, one that is evocative of a particular
> stereotype) with an eminent former politician. Perhaps this was the
> inspiration. Full marks to JS for insight and resourcefulness!
-zbyva dodat, ze v Chronologii je zkratka JS vyhrazena pro Jiriho Sebanka.
A pan Lawrie si objevy Jiriho Sebanka oblibil natolik, ze jako zaklad pro
svou cimrmanologickou studii pouzil jeho zjisteni, ze Cimrman v roce 1871
poprve navstivil Spojene staty, aby prinesl reportaz o znamem pozaru Chicaga.
Cimrman vyrazil 10. rijna z Terstu na palube parniku Ludendorff a po 32 dnech
plavby dorazil do New Yorku (zajemce o dalsi podrobnosti odkazuji na knihu
"Byli jsme a buben", kapitola Cimrman v Novem Svete).
Jeho prispevek byl znacne rozsahly a obsahoval 3 obrazky, kterezto jsem
vystrihl, prispevek (puvodne ve Word97) jsem transformoval do ASCII a
rozdeleny na dve casti ho posilam zvlast, nasledovany malou douskou, kterou
jsem k tomu pripsal dneska dopoledne.
So buckle up and have your dictionaries ready.
You are in for a wild ride!
H.
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 00:10:37 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Cimrman in Scotland (part I.)
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Jara da Cimrman's
VISIT TO SCOTLAND, 1871
by Arthur Lawrie
featuring
Solutions in Civil Engineering
Culinary Capers
Revelations in Refrigeration and Rocketry,
and Notions of Pneumatics
Lessons in Literary Theory
Heresy in Heredity
and
A Profound Mystery!
*******************************************************************
Introduction
This investigation started with a single remarkable fact, and a happy piece
of coincidence. The fact is this: Cimrman's voyage in the Ludendorff, from
Trieste to New York, took no less than thirty-two days. This is an unusually
lengthy period for such a journey, even when undertaken over a hundred and
twenty years ago. Could it have been that the vessel called somewhere en route
to New York?
The happy coincidence is that the Nautical Archive of the Forth Ports
Authority here in Scotland have recently computerised their records, thus
creating an easily accessible historical database. And sure enough the vessel
Ludendorff appears in those records, as having docked in the port of Leith
in 1871.
******************************************************************
Cimrman Comes to Scotland
Today, Leith is the central waterfront district of the city of Edinburgh,
but in 1871 it was a bustling port, with a substantial volume of cargo passing
through it. The records show that the Ludendorff docked there on 25th October
1871, in distress, and that repairs were effected over a five-day period.
Why would a ship which had presumably been sailing via the Straits of
Gibraltar to New York dock at Leith? Indeed, why would it have been in the
North Sea at all? One can only assume, at this stage of investigation, that
autumn storms were encountered west of Biscay, and that the captain decided to
run with the storm, which could then have taken the vessel far into the
English channel. From such a position, the most direct, great-circle route to
New York would have been north, along the East Coast of Britain, and then to
Southern Iceland and on to the Newfoundland Banks.
The Nautical Archive records show that the Ludendorff required repair to both
superstructure and hull, the latter having sustained a minor breach. Exactly
how or where this damage was wrought is not recorded, but it is the author's
surmise that the ill-starred vessel, having been diverted through the English
Channel by storm, encountered an even greater tempest in the Pentland Firth,
off the North Coast of Scotland. The treachery of these waters is legendary.
Here, Atlantic weather, carrying a fetch of fully three thousand miles, meets
the implacable water of the Arctic. The result is a near-perpetual cataclysm
of the elements - rip-tides, whirlpools, freezing rain, and, most of all,
the howling wind.. The author in person has witnessed waterfalls cascading
down the 1350-foot-high cliffs of the Orkney Islands, only to be blown back
up the cliff face by the force of the wind. Here indeed, is the Northern
Hemisphere's equivalent of Cape Horn. Any ship caught unawares here has but
one course of action open to it - turn, run with the wind, and hope to make
a leeward port on the East Coast of Scotland (If the Admirals of the Spanish
Armada in 1588 had understood this, they might have been able to re-group,
defeat Drake, and this correspondence would then have been in Spanish).
Thus it was that Jara da Cimrman came to make an unexpected visit to Scotland
in 1871.
*******************************************************************
Cimrman meets Ravelston-Orr
Then as now, Edinburgh had a world-renowned medical school. Of all the
attractions in the city, to which would an unwitting itinerant with a keen
interest in science make his way if he were to find himself in the city in
the autumn of 1871? To the medical school, of course!
The Faculty of Medicine of the University of Edinburgh contains a number of
remarkable and somewhat grisly exhibits from ages past. One such exhibit is
the bones of the grave-robber, William Burke - one half of the notorious duo
Burke and Hare. In the early Nineteenth Century, there was a shortage of
bodies for dissection. Two enterprising Irishmen decided to meet this demand
by illegally exhuming freshly buried corpses and selling them to the medical
school. Trade flourished, much to the consternation of the local populace,
and fresh graves soon began to be equipped with heavy iron bar cages, to
render them invulnerable to robbery. These can still be seen on graves in
the older cemeteries of the city. Of course, it was not long before Burke
and Hare turned to murder to meet the insatiable demand for bodies.
Eventually they were caught. Hare turned King's evidence, condemning Burke
to the gallows but setting himself free. With satisfying irony, Burke's
body was itself dissected, and his bones put on display in the medical school,
where they can still be seen to this day. Hare was ostracised and died alone
and in penury, in London.
In 1871 the Dean of the Faculty of Medicine was one Hamish Ravelston-Orr.
He does not seem to have earned his appointment on academic merit, but rather
on his skills as an administrator. No particular advances in medicine are
associated with his name, but he was a noted man of letters and speaker in
his day. Fortunately for us, he was also a compulsive diarist. His numerous
journals, written in splendid Nineteenth-Century language, are preserved in
the Library of the University of Edinburgh. It is from these that the
following excerpts are taken. Annotations in square brackets are this
author's.
25th October 1871:
"As I was leaving the building, I spied a distinguished-looking gentleman
of Eastern European appearance inspecting Burke's bones in their glass
cabinet [Ravelston-Orr does not explain what constitutes "Eastern European
appearance"]. He noticed my attention and engaged me in conversation by
stating that Burke was obviously an alcoholic Irishman of peasant stock.
I asked what had led him to this conclusion and he proceeded to enumerate
first a number of physical dimensions and ratios of the skeleton that he
had noticed prevailed in the Irish Celts, and then a series of features
of the bones that suggested to him a poor diet as a child and an excessive
consumption of alcohol as an adult. I had to admit that this stranger had
made a remarkably accurate diagnosis, moreover based on evidence that had
hitherto been invisible to me. I asked for his name. 'Jara da Cimmrman'
[sic] he informed me. However, my surprise did not end with his diagnostic
skill, for when I enquired of his medical background so that I might know
of the college where he had made his studies, the fellow revealed that he
had but a passing interest in medicine! I made further enquiries of him
and discovered that he was a temporary visitor to the city, and would be
here only for as long as it took to effect repairs to his ship, which is
in Leith Docks. On hearing this, I invited the remarkable Mr Cimmrman
to board at my town house for the duration of his stay. He said that it was
an hospitable offer, and accepted. A house guest of such remarkable
perspicacity should prove instructive and perhaps even entertaining."
So it seems to have been that Cimrman came to be in Scotland in 1871.
It should be noted that there is no mention here of conspicuous youth on
Cimrman's part. This would tend to favour the view of those who place his
birth in the earlier part of the broader range identified by Cimrmanologists
- i.e., c.1850, if not indeed, even earlier.
********************************************************************
Cimrman and the Forth Bridge
The city of Edinburgh sits on the southern shore of a huge sea inlet,
the Firth of Forth - i.e, where the estuary of the River Forth meets the North
Sea. Just outside the city, to the West, are two huge bridges across
the Firth. One, the Forth Road Bridge, was opened in 1964 and carries road
traffic across the Firth. It is a modern steel suspension bridge. However,
it is its companion, the original Forth Bridge, that is of interest.
Opened in 1892, it still carries the railway line north, connecting all
the main East Coast cities of Scotland with the North of England and
London. It is a striking design, and certainly unique on this scale.
Its chief engineer was one Benjamin Baker.
Ravelston-Orr was something of a socialite, fond of entertaining, and his
diaries show that he had distinguished company the day he met Cimrman.
Staying at his house were, amongst others, Benjamin Baker, designer of the
Forth Bridge, and John Dunlop, inventor of the pneumatic tyre. The assembled
company dined together that night, as the diaries show:
25th October 1871:
"He [Cimrman] was engaging Baker in eager debate over some problem of
engineering. He asked for pen and ink. I obliged, With a flourish of the
quill, he proceeded to draw on the lace tablecloth a diagram of a complex
geometrical structure that turned out to be an element in a cantilever design
for a bridge. He explained that such a structure, using modern steel, would
not only be possible but that it would also be capable of spanning mighty
chasms and gorges, and even sea inlets such as the Firth of Forth. In this
way, considerable reductions could be made in travel times, boosting trade
in all parts. We quizzed Cimrman at length about the proposed structure,
which puzzled us, but our questions were answered fully and satisfactorily.
Baker, who seemed to feel upstaged, fell into sullen silence. Many matters
were raised, such as consistency and quality in the production of steel,
and problems of securing piers and caissons in the turbulent waters, but
Cimmrman fended them all with aplomb. Baker, ungracious as ever, gruffly
stated that he would need time to consider the complexities of the design
in detail, and would say no more."
Baker obviously did just as Ravelston-Orr records, although it appears to
have taken him some time. In December 1879 a storm swept away the railway
bridge over the Firth of Tay near Dundee, to the north of Edinburgh. As a
result, a fully-laden express train plunged into the murky waters, with the
loss of ninety lives. Following the Tay Bridge Disaster, it came to be
understood that new approaches to bridge design were needed. When the contract
to build the biggest and most daring bridge of all - a bridge to span the
Forth (a far larger and more difficult stretch of water) - Baker's design won.
Interestingly, none of Baker's published papers gives any detail of the
calculation involved in designing the structure. It is as though he did not
thoroughly understand the structure, as though the ideas behind it are not
his own.
Today the Forth Bridge has not long celebrated its centenary. It stands as a
true monument to human ingenuity and endeavour. Its vastness is imposing.
It spans a chasm of over nine thousand feet, it rises three hundred feet
against the howling wind, and it plunges one hundred and fifty feet into
the turbulent waters. It was over eight years in the building. It employed
five thousand labourers. The practices of deep-sea diving had to be derived
simply to lay the foundations. It consumed a hundred thousand cubic yards
of building stone and forty thousand tons of steel, fastened with eight
million rivets. All of this in an age when the principal means of transport
was still the horse and carriage. It has given its name to a famous
aphorism - "it's like painting the Forth Bridge," for as soon as the huge
structure has been freshly painted, it is time to start the job again.
Perpetuity is somehow fitting for a monumental object. Radical though it
may have been in its day as a design, it is also a structure of high artistry.
Its smooth curves blend with the low hills of the surrounding countryside,
its elegant lines echo the long sweep of the shore. It gleams and sparkles
in the midday sun, it broods moodily in the twilight, and it rears up out
of the fog, gaunt and gargantuan. Such transcendent subtlety is beyond the
scope of the normal mind. This huge, majestic and beautiful bridge is,
quite simply, a work of utter genius. Baker, of course, took the credit
for the Forth Bridge. He did well out of it, going on to design the
London Underground before his death in 1907. But he is forgotten today.
The Bridge has outlasted him. It waits for the truth of its conception to be
revealed to the world.
Cimrman's bridge, spanning the Firth of Forth at Edinburgh:
a structure that puzzles and impresses engineers to this day
(in Arthur's original text, written in Word97 there was a picture
of the bridge, which I had to cut out - JR)
*******************************************************************
Cimrman and Scottish Cuisine
The day after Cimrman suggested a solution to the problem of spanning the
Forth with a bridge, Ravelston-Orr records Cimrman's views on Scottish
cuisine:
26th October 1871
"Mr Cimmrman stated that he would care to sample the local fare, should that
be possible. Mrs Hudson [Ravelston-Orr's housekeeper] prepared a repast of
broth, haggis, and cranachan [a dessert of sour cream, oatmeal, and fruit].
Mr Cimmrman commented on the flavour and texture of the haggis, saying that
it was 'unusual' and 'interesting'. Later, in the drawing room, and over a
fine Dutch cigar, he heartily and spectacularly vomited it all up, spraying
the old oak table, the Persian rug, and the britches of most of the assembled
company. The poor fellow did apologise and seemed genuinely embarrassed.
I admire his pluck in tholing [enduring] his dinner when he clearly knew that
it disagreed with him. Such a sense of seemliness I had thought beyond the
foreign mettle."
"We retired to my study, and I offered him a large glass of my favourite
tipple, Beamish-Beevers' Old Contemptible 'Peat Purge' single Highland malt
whisky, characteristically matured for sixty years in oak sherrywood and
flavoured with heather blossom. I believe that Mr Cimmrman now shares my
partiality for this barley nectar, judging by his favourable comments, but
he would not explain the meaning of the word 'moc', which he had uttered when
the whisky first past his lips. I promised to present him with a bottle upon
his departure from these shores. He apparently thought this uncommon generous,
for he stared at me with obvious incredulity and, switching his disbelieving
gaze between me and the glass in his hand, muttered 'A gift - of this?!'
An unassuming fellow, this."
************************************************************************
Cimrman, Refrigeration, and Pneumatics
A certain confusion seems to have been caused by Cimrman's unfamiliarity with
the word "skirl," a Scots term used to describe the sound, or effect, of
bagpipes. However, the confusion appears ultimately to have been fortuitous,
for the following day, the diaries record.
27th October 1871
"As we were crossing the High Street, the massed pipes and drums of the
Castle garrison came marching down from the Esplanade - a sight to stir any
Scots heart. Mr Cimrman remarked that their dress (full Highland kilt
and cloak) somehow reminded him of childhood. I did not understand this,
and he did not elaborate. [A reference to Cimrman's transvestite formative
years?] I asked him if the skirl of the pipes has the same appeal for him as
it has for me, but he was obviously unfamiliar with this term, for he
turned to me with eyes as wide as saucers and exclaimed 'You mean inside
each of those tartan balloons there is a squirrel? Listen to the noise
they are making - the poor things must be in terrible pain! Let them go
at once!' I laughed heartily and put him right on the term. Obviously
relieved, after a moment's contemplation he said: 'This gives me an idea.'"
Ravelston-Orr records how this inspiration developed:
27th October 1871
"Mrs Hudson bemoaned the unseasonably mild weather we are experiencing,
saying that it was impossible to make a sugar fretwork frosting for the
cakes. I stated that she must bear and forbear, and lamented the
impracticality of maintaining an ice-house in a town dwelling, such not being
furbished with spacious grounds. This prompted Mr Cimmrman to divulge a
brilliant idea.
"He explained that he had devised a method of repeatedly passing a gas from
one chamber to another, larger one. On each pass the gas would lose pressure
so as to cause its temperature to drop. He explained that this was similar
to the principle employed in the design of the latest triple-expansion
boilers, in which the steam generated by a ship's boiler is put to work
three times, each time at a lower temperature and pressure than before.
The only difference was that in Mr Cimmrman's device, the gas, which takes
the place of the steam vapour in the boiler, would start the process at
ordinary temperatures and then be reduced to the temperature of a cold
winter's day. If the device could be made sufficiently small, Mr Cimmrman
believed, it would be possible to have one in every abode, serving the
function of an ice-house."
"He attempted to demonstrate this idea. Seizing the bellows from the hearth,
he demanded of me: 'Bring me one of those squirrel bags.' I took him to mean
bagpipes, and fetched my set. He suggested that if we inflate the bagpipes
to their fullest extent and then allow them to cool to room temperature,
extracting air from them by means of the bellows would produce a temperature
within the bellows lower than the ambient within the room. He felt sure that
we could get enough air into the bagpipes for this to be clearly measurable.
"He replaced the chanter with the bellows, which happily made an air-tight
seal, and commenced blowing through the mouthpiece. He laid the pipes on the
table and suggested that Dunlop sit astride them, his weight providing
additional confining pressure. Dunlop seemed to enjoy this, and commenced
bouncing on the pipes, saying that the pneumatic effect was a comfortable one.
It was at that point that the pipes exploded. Mr Cimrman was propelled
backwards onto the floor, apparently without injury, but poor Dunlop, who
was writhing on the floor, seemed to have sustained a telling blow to the
privities. The rest of us were stunned but unharmed.
"Once he had recovered his composure, Dunlop observed that such a confined
dbody of air could surely be used to insulate travellers from the rigours of
mechanical transport, if an appropriate material could be found to hold
the air. He seemed to consider that the wheels of the vehicle in question
would be the most effective place for such a cushion of air. Cimrman
immediately estimated that, for a carriage of typical weight, an inner
chamber at a pressure of about thirty pounds to the square inch and contained
within a fabric-reinforced external rubber shell, would be necessary. How he
came to this rapid and specific conclusion is beyond me. I see little
prospect of such fanciful wainwrighting myself."
In 1887, following the advent of durable rubber compounds, John Dunlop made
the first pneumatic tyre, fitting it to his son's bicycle. Today it is a truly
universal object, but it is evident that Dunlop's ubiquitous invention had
its inspiration in his encounter with Jara Cimrman. Ravelston-Orr, of course,
is shown by this incident as having been a figure of little imagination,
as we might expect of a mere administrator.
*******************************************************************
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 00:12:12 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
Organization: Obecni skola Liptakov
Subject: Cimrman in Scotland (part II.)
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Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; name="sakra2"
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*******************************************************************
Cimrman and Rocketry
Cimrman's ideas about refrigeration seem to have developed into notions of
a propulsion mechanism, for the following is later recorded:
27th October 1871
"He [Cimrman] explained that he had devised a ballistic projectile that was
'powered by skirl,' as he put it. This turned out to be a pneumatic device
in which the release of gas would provide propulsion. If the gas were to be
heated as it was released, its expansion would be all the greater, as would
the corresponding propulsive force. This Cimmrman plans to do by igniting a
small stream of combustible gas and using the heat of this combustion to warm
the propellant gas upon its release. The process could also be enhanced by
ensuring that the propellant gas was sufficiently cool. To do this, he
proposed to use his refrigerant device. The whole vehicle would be jacketed
in a cooling device immediately prior to the start of its journey.
"Mr Cimmrman explained that the main difficulties were simply in controlling
the flows of the various gases. A huge sustained thrust would be needed as
the journey was initiated, and care would be necessary to ensure that the
commencement of travel was not explosive. Only a small amount of combustible
gas could be carried too, as the bulk of the vehicle's weight would be made
up of gases.
This is clearly a rocket motor dependent upon the thermal expansivity of a
propellant gas. Perhaps a substantial thrust could be achieved by such
a method, but it should be noted that this is only one step removed from
the rocket mechanisms of today. It is likely that, in practical
experimentation, it would soon be realised that the combustion process
itself would generate more thrust per unit weight than would any heating
process, no matter how efficient or how refrigerated the gas. Therefore,
we see here the genesis of Cimrman's notions about rocketry and space flight
- his "skirl-powered" craft.
Ravelston-Orr also records:
27th October 1871
"He [Cimrman] mused that such a pneumatic vehicle, which would no doubt be a
source of much noise as it vented gas furiously, might sound like 'a whole
army of those men in skirts playing their squirrel-bags as they march into
battle.' I remarked that these men had a fearsome reputation in battle, and he
added: 'It must be because if they fail, they are given the Peat-Purge whisky
to drink.' I assume he meant to say 'succeed' rather than 'fail.'"
It should be noted that in some archaic tongues the words for sea and sky
share the same root, which broadly means "firmament", "expanse", or "void."
Perhaps, if Cimrman used deliberately obscure terminology in describing his
works, a mistranslation might occur in which a craft intended to travel the
skies was described as a submarine. Also, it is the author's contention that
Cimrman used the word "skirl" to refer to the propulsion mechanism of his
craft, but that this metamorphosed, through mishearing or mispronunciation,
into "squirrel." This is a common linguistic phenomenon, the best example of
it being that of the Snake River in the USA, which was originally known as
the "Seneca River" but mispronunciation by placing the stress on the second
syllable instead of the first, led the name to be written as "Snake." Thus,
Cimrman's squirrel-powered submarine was, in fact, a skirl-powered rocket.
Professional Cimrmanologists are invited to consider this possibility.
**********************************************************************
Cimrman and Literary Theory
From the diaries:
28th October 1871
"As usual, the evening paper was delivered by young Arthur. He [Cimrman]
noticed that the lad was more interested in a penny dreadful that apparently
he was attempting to read whilst wending his way through the streets on his
round. Enquiring of the lad's interest in the rag, he was informed that it
was a story of a dastardly criminal genius who was holding the realm to
ransom. This prompted Cimrman to remark that this was an old-fashioned theme.
He further observed that he felt that there was a place in modern literature
for a hero who relied solely on rational enquiry and scientific knowledge to
win the day, rather than derring-do and bluster.
"Young Arthur was obviously taken with this notion, and quizzed Cimrman on
the matter. He was further told that such a character would require a foil,
a companion who was something of a dollard so as to emphasise the attributes
of the hero. There would also have to be an absence of romantic and family
entanglements, so that free range could be given to the hero. He also
explained that it was not hard to devise the plot for such stories. One
started by identifying the victim and villain, including the motive, means,
and opportunity for the evil deed. From these circumstances, one merely worked
backwards, identifying the clues by means of which the crime would be detected
in the course of a systematic and rational investigation.
"Arthur wondered how the necessary level of scientific expertise could be
acquired so that such a hero could be portrayed realistically, and Cimrman
recommended a medical training. I had to agree with him there. The young
lad was clearly impressed with this, and went away quite enthused and
starry-eyed."
Could this paper boy have been Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes?
Conan Doyle was raised in Edinburgh and would have been twelve years old
in 1871. Could we here be seeing the inspiration behind one of literature's
greatest characters, and the yardstick against which all heroes of the
detective fiction genre are judged? Conan Doyle did receive medical training,
and claimed that it was this that made for Holmes' powers of detection.
Without corroboration from Conan Doyle's own letters, we shall probably never
know if this young boy was indeed he, but this author suggests that it is
surely a distinct possibility.
*************************************************************************
Cimrman's Theory of Heredity
28th October 1871
"The conversation turned to the work of Darwin. Mr Cimrman stated that he felt
that the work was incomplete, for Darwin had not established a means by
which his variations in morphology could arise, thereby enabling his
principle of survival of the fitness to operate. After a moment's thought, we
all agreed. Darwin's notion of the mixing of blood seemed implausible. Baker
sneeringly asked whether Mr Cimrman had any suggestions. Mr Cimrman proposed
that the means had to be a molecular one, that somehow the characteristics
of a creature were encoded in a molecular structure and that in sexual
reproduction the characteristics of two creatures were admingled by a process
of combination operating on the molecular scale. This would account for the
observed laws of heredity and also for the phenomenon of runts and deformities,
which, according to Mr Cimrman, would largely stem from errors in the
combination process. This sounded plausible, but Mr Cimrman went on to divulge
more of his thoughts. He felt that, if we considered how much information had
to be encoded, and the fact that there is a limited number of basic molecular
types in a living creature, the mechanism had to involve a small number of
molecular units that were combined in a very lengthy sequence. If this were
true, he said, it would one day be possible to identify which elements in the
combination sequence were responsible for any given inherited attribute, and
perhaps even to control the manifestation of that attribute effectively,
rather than through erratic selective breeding techniques. In short,
Mr Cimrman was proposing that the randomness could be removed from heredity!
We were amazed. We conceded that this might be useful in the business of
rearing livestock, but the prospect of its application to humans gave us
pause. Mr Cimrman commented that eugenics was a constructive practice when it
eliminated disease. It was only destructive when used for ill."
It is known that later, in 1881, Cimrman attempted to create a new creature,
reportedly through cross-breeding. Perhaps this incident can now be
re-interpreted. Contemporary recorders may well have assumed that a simple
cross-breeding process was involved, but we now have evidence that, fully
ten years previously, Cimrman was already theorising about genetics.
Cimrmanologists can now assess whether this incident was actually an attempt
to create a genuine chimera.
Moreover, in 1887, it has been reported, Cimrman discovered a new, radically
unorthodox species. Was this being a creation of nature, or was it designed
by Cimrman himself? Perhaps Cimrmanologists should now re-assess this incident
too, in the light of his discussions with Ravelston-Orr and his guests.
It is probably significant that, shortly after Cimrman's visit, Ravelston-Orr
established the medical school's "Mechanics of Heredity" project. This project
developed over the ensuing decades, evolving from a simple matter of
observation and postulation, to investigations in molecular biology, and
ultimately to genetic manipulation. It grew in size too, and today its
descendant is the Roslin Institute, where, of course, Dolly the sheep, the
world's first cloned higher form of life, was made. Clearly, the original
inspiration for this work was Jara Cimrman, but the question has to be asked
- did Cimrman beat them to it, with a chimera and an entirely new
creature (q.v.)?
Dolly the Sheep:
inspired by Cimrman?
(again, this picture had to be cut out - JR)
********************************************************************
Cimrman and The Mystery
From the diaries:
28th October 1871
"During the course of our conversation, I made a reference to architecture.
I was amazed to hear an elliptical reply. I asked if he knew the Great
Architect and he asked whether I meant Adonaye. I said that I did, and he
said that the all-seeing eye had long been his compass, on the level and by
the square. We discussed certain matters long into the night, and I have
resolved to take him tomorrow to Rosslyn."
This entry appears to allude to the accidental discovery that Cimrman had been
initiated into freemasonry. From Army records it is known that Ravelston-Orr
was surgeon to the Black Watch when that particular regiment was stationed in
India. His attendance at field lodge meetings is documented. From the above,
he evidently was an initiate of high rank, and prudent enough to omit detailed
reference to matters concerning the secret society from his writings. The fact
that Cimrman and he "discussed certain matters long into the night" suggests
that they were both privy to the same knowledge.
Rosslyn Chapel is a curious building. A quiet religious retreat just outside
Edinburgh. The detail of its architecture is bizarre, heavily laden with
symbolism and encoded messages.
Rosslyn Chapel, near Edinburgh -where Cimrman's
most daring idea awaits realisation?
(and this was the last of the three pictures that Arthur sent with the text.
Well, by now you all know what I did with it - JR)
To explain the above diary entry, we must first digress. Early in this
century, a new priest called Sauniere took up a ministry in the French
Pyrennean village of Rennes-le-Chateau. During the course of his ministry
this ostensibly penniless priest spent vast sums of money, on his church and
his house. When he died, this provincial priest's funeral was attended by a
stunning selection of eminent scientists, men of letters, and crowned heads
of Europe. It was also discovered upon his death that inscriptions on
stonework in his church had been obliterated. His housekeeper, who was also
probably his lover, spoke of a great secret. However, a stroke silenced
her and she died without divulging a word. Just how a minor priest came by
such a fortune, and how he came to be known to so many notable figures of
the day, grew into a mystery that caught the popular imagination. The mystery
is compounded by Sauniere's seeming attempts at preserving it by obliterating
inscriptions.
From here we leap forward to the 1970s, and an English historian called
Henry Lincoln, who made documentary television programmes for the BBC on the
subject of Rennes-le-Chateau. He went on to publish a book with two
co-workers, Baigent and Leigh, entitled "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail",
which became a huge international best-seller. In the course of their
investigations, the three workers uncovered a secret society, with ages-old
links to freemasonry and the Knights Templar. They also managed to acquire a
list of names of Grand Masters of this society (known as the Prieure de Sion),
and these names include such historic luminaries as Isaac Newton,
Robert Fludd, Jean Cocteau, and....Leonardo da Vinci. All of these names have
one thing in common - in their day, each was known for his unorthodox
religious beliefs.
The main thesis of the book is that Sauniere accidentally stumbled upon the
identity of the Holy Grail, and that the Grail is actually a bloodline,
descending from Christ into the present. This bloodline has been protected
over the centuries by the Prieure de Sion,
The book and its sequel, "The Messianic Legacy," spawned a plethora of further
investigations, ranging in subject matter from Templars and freemasons to
Egyptology, the purported secret history of mankind, and aliens. This
unprecedented interest has surely produced many red herrings, but at least
it has allowed an informed consensus view to emerge.
Most Grail investigators now agree that the legendary Grail may well be a
bloodline, however, they also believe that it is a material object. Today,
the view is increasingly being promulgated that this object is the ultimate
religious relic - the body of Christ. It is now also generally considered
that this most precious relic lies buried at Rosslyn Chapel, Here it has
safely eluded plunderers and human curiosity since it was brought there
centuries ago.
Of course, knowledge of the whereabouts of such an object would be carefully
restricted to the highest initiates of a secret society charged with acting
as its custodians. Was Jara Cimrman privy to such knowledge? Did Ravelston-Orr
reveal this ultimate truth to him? Cimrman's family connection to Leonardo, a
former Grand Master of the Prieure de Sion, suggests that he may well have
been, and his dealings with Ravelston-Orr, who certainly appears to have
known the true significance of Rosslyn Chapel, suggest that he almost
certainly was.
What were Cimrman's intentions at Rosslyn? I fear we must now speculate.
We have seen the evidence of his interest in, and understanding of, heredity.
This author believes that he was aware of what lies hidden at Rosslyn Chapel.
Could it have been his long-term ambition to extract and utilise that element
of the sacred relic that conferred divine power - could it have been Cimrman's
intention to force a quantum leap in human evolution by isolating and
spreading the Jesus Gene?
Such an advance would undoubtedly transform Homo sapiens into a higher being.
Surely no investigator could have resisted the temptation of such a task if
they believed it to be within their grasp. Currently, this can only be
speculation, but it may be that other evidence of this intention will be
uncovered elsewhere, possibly concerning later periods in Cimrman's life.
We must wait and hope.
***********************************************************************
Cimrman Leaves Scotland
Fate has a way of redressing balances. Cimrman's visit to Scotland would seem
to have been remarkably propitious for the Scots - it was inevitable that
there would have to be a down side. Sure enough, the diaries do not let us
down. Ravelston-Orr records:
29th October 1871
"He had indeed availed himself of the wine cellar, and much too much. He
entered the drawing room unsteady on his feet and muttered incoherently.
He peered around the room and spotted the open fireplace. This he apparently
mistook for a urinal, for he proceeded to relieve himself therein!
My guests beheld this disgusting spectacle in stunned disbelief. I implored
Mr Cimrman to remember where he was, and called for Watson [Ravelston-Orr's
butler] to conduct him to his room. I decided not to attempt to re-light
the fire that evening.
"That night I was woken by a commotion downstairs. Lighting the lamp and
taking the poker from the hearth, I proceeded with caution. I espied the open
door of the sitting room, and heard the noise coming from within. Entering the
chamber, I was horrified to find Mr Cimmrman in flagrante delicto with Mrs
Hudson!
"I was obliged to expel Mr Cimmrman from my home. I would have enjoyed his
company longer, but such a lapse in decorum is simply impermissible. Watson
escorted him from the premises. I presume he made his way back to his ship in
Leith.
"Sadly, Mrs Hudson has had to find another position after thirty years in my
service and that of my father before me. I have thought it best that she
leave the city, and have given her a testimonial sufficient to secure a
position in a farmhouse. I did not consider it necessary to mention her
disgrace."
***********************************************************************
Cimrman's Visit to Scotland in the Context of His Known Life
The life of Jara da Cimrman is a fascinating one, but it is also shrouded in
mist. Only fragmentary records seem to be available. However, his unplanned
visit to Scotland, thanks to the journals of Ravelston-Orr, are perfectly
illuminated by a strong, unwavering beam. We are afforded a perfectly clear
window onto a particular moment in the great man's life, brief though that
window was. It is the author's hope that this clarity with which Cimrman's
trip is recorded will serve as a useful reference, shining new light into
the gloomy recesses that still lurk elsewhere in his life story.
Future Cimrman Studies
Ravelston-Orr's diaries contain more. There are references to a meeting with
James Clerk Maxwell, the physicist. There is also a discussion on computing,
this being prompted by Ravelston-Orr receiving news of the death, on
18th October 1871, of his old friend, Charles Babbage, inventor of the
"analytic engine." There is also a visit to the Scottish village of
Bonnybridge, which has since become the world centre of UFO activity.
Reference is also made to a lexical work that was planned - The Cimrman
Rhombus. These await further investigation.
Another area for enquiry is the question of whether Cimrman ever returned
to Scotland. Given the connection with Rosslyn, it seems more than likely
that he did. Also worthy of investigation is the question of whether,
in returning from the New World, Cimrman docked at Liverpool or Southampton,
either of which would have been a natural port of call for any such journey
back to Northern Europe made in those days. But these potentially rich veins
must wait for another day. It is the author's hope that the events uncovered
here will shed light on Cimrman's life, and perhaps provide guidance
and inspiration for Cimrmanologists.
Arthur Lawrie
Scotland
24th Sept. 1999
*********************************************************************
Sponsored by
The Scottish Historical Investigation Trust
The Campaign for Edinburgh-Praha Town Twinning Junkets
Beamish-Beevers' Old Contemptible "Peat Purge" Single Highland Malt Whisky
("Brain death helps you through the day")
and not at all by
The Scottish Tourist Board
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 00:14:04 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
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Dear colleague Lawrie,
let me first thank you for an inspiring and thought-provoking paper on
Cimrman's short visit to Scotland. Your mastery of the presented material
is rather impressive and I dare say that it would make many JDC-L readers
feel rather envious, thinking that "such cimrmanological perspicacity is
beyond the foreign mettle", as our dear Ravelston-Orr would have undoubtedly
put it. While the repercussions of your contribution will surely be
felt in the cimrmanological community for years to come, I'd like to make
a few minor comments here on some of the points that your paper has raised.
> .......... One, the Forth Road Bridge, was opened in 1964 and carries road
> traffic across the Firth. It is a modern steel suspension bridge.
I think this would be an appropriate place to mention that even though Cimrman
may have had nothing to do with the Forth Road Suspension Bridge, or with any
other suspension bridge for that matter, he was in fact an involuntary
founding father of its close relative - a suspense bridge.
As long as my records are accurate, the first suspense bridge was built in
1903 in the Argentinian town of San Juan Nepomuceno, known for its small
Bohemian community, a residue of the emigration wave in 1848. When the need
for a new bridge over the river Tiarapa arose, the Czechs lobbied for a project
designed by Jara Cimrman. Unfortunately, Cimrman himself could not supervise
the construction, being fully focused on building his famous soda water factory
in the Ukraine, and so it came to be that the construction was being overseen
by a Prague firm "Bridges and Tunnels, Inc.", whose best three civil engineers
Vladimir Kocarnik, Viktor Dlouhy and Ivan Kozeny were promptly sent to
Argentina. This clever trio, however, soon realized that their Hispanic
sub-contractors, as well as the inspection officials of the Argentinian
government, were naive and gullible and so they, contrary to Cimrman's strict
specifications, started cutting corners wherever they could. Tens of tons
of cement were sent back to their homes in Bohemia and Moravia and many of
the iron rods designated originally to reinforce the concrete structures
found themselves standing idly in the discreet darkness of backyard toolsheds,
awaiting patiently their transformation into grids and gratings for
the builders' mansions.
Well, to cut the long story short, the bridge turned out to be rather wobbly,
to say the least. People were afraid to use it, because it might collapse right
beneath their feet. Book-makers were accepting bets on how long would the
bridge last and daredevils from all over the world were flocking to the area
to cross it. A foreboding of an imminent disaster grew so tangible that after
a few months the bridge was dubbed "the San Juan Nepomuceno Suspense Bridge"
and the legend has it that local suicidal maniacs would not even have to jump
off it to get killed. They would just walk on and wait long enough.
The bridge lasted for quite some time though, and finally collapsed only
during the infamous Great Flood of 1905, when raging waters and incessant
impacts of hundreds of floating cattle carcasses undermined its already
shaky structure insofar as the remaining grains of cement just called it quits
and stopped doing whatever they were miraculously doing up to that point.
The bridge fell down, disintegrated and was washed away. Despite the lack of
luck on this bridge's part, the idea of a suspense bridge has not been
completely forgotten and many offsprings of the San Juan Nepomuceno Suspense
Bridge are still standing around the world, waiting for their fifteen
seconds of fame.
> ... I believe that Mr Cimmrman now shares my
> partiality for this barley nectar, judging by his favourable comments, but
> he would not explain the meaning of the word 'moc', which he had uttered when
> the whisky first past his lips.
The word "moc", as long as it is Czech can have two, possibly three meanings.
It could stand for "much", as in "much delightful", which is what Cimrman may
have wanted to say, or it could mean "power", indicating clearly the strong
feelings Cimrman had had on that occasion. Finally, with a diacritical mark
over "c", it would simply mean "urine". Now, this may seem to be a little bit
on the vulgar side, but considering what we know about Cimrman's last moments
in Ravelston-Orr's house...who knows? Maybe, by coincidence he needed to go
to the bathroom at that very moment and felt awkward about asking for
directions.
And we have to keep in mind that Cimrman in 1871 was still very young and his
command of the Czech language may thus have been very poor. It would seem more
logical that the word was actually German in which case I dare not predict what
it could have meant.
> "As we were crossing the High Street, the massed pipes and drums of the
> Castle garrison came marching down from the Esplanade - a sight to stir any
> Scots heart. Mr Cimrman remarked that their dress (full Highland kilt
> and cloak) somehow reminded him of childhood. I did not understand this,
> and he did not elaborate. [A reference to Cimrman's transvestite formative
> years?]
Well, first, let me clarify one point, since I am not sure I made it clear
in the Highlights. Cimrman's recycling of his sister's clothes wasn't a
manifestation of his transvestism. At least not in the sense that he would
enjoy wearing girls clothes. He had no idea he was a boy. His parents
are to blame, since they concealed his true sex from him and sent him to a
girls boarding school, just to save a few pennies for a proper boys
clothing. It was only much later that Cimrman realized that he had quite a
different sort of ammunition under his skirt and started behaving accordingly.
This, of course, resulted in a little bit of frustration since he could
identify neither with girls, on account of their different physique, nor with
boys, who simply did not and would not wear skirts! Therefore I claim that not
only was any Scots heart overflowing with emotions on seeing the bagpipers
march down the Esplanade with their pressed kilts on, but so was Cimrman's.
Here, finally, there was a group of people he could relate to - men in skirts!
In the past, I actually found out that Cimrman was confused about his sex
until his mid twenties and was fearfully expecting his first menstruation,
month after month, until he was clinically confirmed to be a man by Viennese
physician, Dr. W. A. Kleichendorf. That might also explain why, upon forced
landing in Edinburgh, he made a beeline for a medical college, hoping perhaps
to find there some answers to questions pertaining to his sexuality. To a
young man, or even adolescent, these are questions of superior importance.
> Could this paper boy have been Arthur Conan Doyle,
> creator of Sherlock Holmes?
It could very well be. Let me remark though that I have argued elsewhere that
Cimrman himself was not very successful detective novelist, what with his
questionable methodology of not divulging the murderer till the very last
page - inclusively. Perhaps, this unfortunate strategy resulted from the
commercial fiasco of his first detective novel "The murderer is Bedrich
Kolomaznik", in which the name of the villain was given away on the very
cover of the book, much to the dismay of thrill seeking readers.
> "That night I was woken by a commotion downstairs. Lighting the lamp and
> taking the poker from the hearth, I proceeded with caution. I espied the open
> door of the sitting room, and heard the noise coming from within. Entering the
> chamber, I was horrified to find Mr Cimmrman in flagrante delicto with Mrs
> Hudson!
This is very interesting observation indeed.
It is generally accepted that Jara was extremely shy towards women. And even
though rumors about his love affairs occasionally do surface (I vaguely
recollect his hanky-panky with Mrs. Schmoranzova, a gamekeeper's wife, or
his broken engagement to Alice Echtnerova), they are scarce and probably
fall into the category of exceptions confirming the rule.
Could it be that his hesitant behavior in matters of love stemmed from the
above scene? Certainly, having been caught in the act at such an early age
must have been a devastating blow to his self-esteem, not to mention messing
up his already confused sexual instincts. Well, we may never know...
> Another area for enquiry is the question of whether Cimrman ever returned
> to Scotland. Given the connection with Rosslyn, it seems more than likely
I think it is very likely too. And I see at least three reasons for it.
First, in Cimrman's time the Czech nation didn't have a separate state and
essentially lived in a shadow of its big brother, the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
The position of Scotland within the United Kingdom may have looked somewhat
similar to Cimrman. It has been known that in later years he actively tried
to subvert the monarchy and kept encouraging his fellow Bohemians and Moravians
to resist the Austrian oppression and fight for their freedom. Maybe, he tried
to do the same service for the Scots folks. It is a very curious coincidence
that the Education Act of 1872 that stirred the Scottish national consciousness
came just a year after Cimrman's unexpected visit to Scotland. And let's not
forget that despite being a jack-of-all-trades, one occupation that Cimrman
loved above all was teaching.
Second, considering how much Cimrman loved the rolling hills of Northern
Bohemia, the chances are that the mountainous Scotland was to his liking too.
And last but not least, Cimrman was connected with Scotland by his lifelong
friendship with Patrick Geddes, a biologist and social thinker. Together
they helped to establish a botanical garden in Dundee, where they spent many
jolly weekends trying to answer a question that was nagging Cimrman for quite
some time - namely - whether parsnips are capable of emotions or, perhaps,
even primitive thought processes. Tirelessly, night after night, they talked to
their parsnips, discussed politics with them, fine arts, principles of riding
bikes in the thick English fog, rugby scores, investment options in gardening
tools industry, pitfalls of parsnip sexuality and even the latest gossip about
French horse-radishes, but the parsnips' expressions remained listless.
During the last phase, they tried to cajole them into showing any kind of
emotional reaction, flattered them, but no discernible signs of blushing were
recorded. Despite the negative outcome, their joint effort resulted in a series
of papers entitled "On diminished cognitive abilities of parsnip roots",
published in 1897 by the Royal Botanical Society of Scotland. Conceivably,
it was this endeavor that brought about the sublime British expression
"fine words butter no parsnips".
Oh, one more reason. I don't know what Scots' reputation is in the British
Isles, but in the Czech lands they are presumed to be extremely frugal (and
don't ask me why). Well, Cimrman too was extremely frugal, thrifty, maybe even
stingy at times, wasn't he? All right, off to Scotland with him! :-)
> Sponsored by
> The Scottish Historical Investigation Trust
> The Campaign for Edinburgh-Praha Town Twinning Junkets
> Beamish-Beevers' Old Contemptible "Peat Purge" Single Highland Malt Whisky
Well, Arthur, to your health then
and thanks again for the insightful and entertaining essay.
Honza Rehacek, Chair
Department of Biocimrmanology
The University of Hradec Kralove
Australia-Hungary
213 87 Milky Way
Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 00:52:52 +0200
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Tony
Subject: Nejen k zamysleni...
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Dalsi namet k zamysleni:
http://www.cybermiss.cz/vizitky/viz36.htm
Otrlejsi kolegove maji moznost rozsirit akci "klin" - jen prosim ne
vsichni najednou, ale pekne poporadku.
Zdravi Tonda
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 1999 19:05:08 -0400
Reply-To: Jara da Cimrman
Sender: Jara da Cimrman
From: Jan Rehacek
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Subject: Arthur's postscript
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From: "Lawrie, Arthur"
To: "'honza@trail.com'"
Subject: PS plus Amendments - more later
Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 10:23:31 +0100
Postscript
The Diarist.
First, our source - Ravelston-Orr - for it is through his eyes that we
are forced to observe the Master. Who was Ravelston-Orr? The outline of
his life is well known, mostly recorded by his own hand, but in order to
delve deeper, we must consider first the world in which he lived and
moved. He was obviously a pillar of Victorian society, but what
implications does that carry?
In 1871 Britain was basking in a golden age of unprecedented power and
prosperity. The French threat had long since gone, and it was too early
for Anglo-Teutonic rivalries to have arisen. Britain had few dealings
with other countries. It traded with its colonies, rather than with
anyone else. It had no particular friends in the world, for it needed
none. It had no particular enemies either, for no one could challenge
it. If trouble threatened, the sight of the Royal Navy appearing on the
horizon was enough to dispel it.
In such a society, things foreign were foreign indeed. It was known that
there was a world beyond the British Empire, but it was looked upon as
an unfortunate place, where people did things differently, where they
simply weren't British. Little distinction was made between the various
parts of this foreign realm - being Czech was much the same as being
French or Polish or Russian. This would have been Ravelston-Orr's view
of the world.
It is worth recounting here a true story. During the Napoleonic Wars, a
French ship foundered off the Yorkshire coast, in the North of England.
A survivor of this incident was the ship's mascot, a monkey, which was
kept dressed in a little suit of clothes. Upon reaching the shore, the
monkey was captured by the locals. They could not understand the
language this strange, hairy little fellow was speaking, so they
naturally assumed it was a French spy, and hanged it. Ravelston-Orr was
not quite as imbecilic as this, but he would nevertheless have been
ill-informed on foreign matters.
In spite of this ignorance, he would have been a very well-educated man.
Having been schooled in Latin and Greek, and well-grounded in the work
of Pythagoras, Euclid, Leibniz, and Newton, he would have gone on to
acquire an encyclopaedic knowledge of the medical practice of his day.
He probably also spoke French, and may well have collected minor pieces
of Renaissance art. He would have been acquainted with the rigours of
scientific method, and, as a skilled administrator, his diaries would
have been diligently and fastidiously written.
Cimrman's Age.
Ravelston-Orr makes no comment on Cimrman's age. Clearly, others had
considered him old enough to cross the Atlantic. Appearances can be
deceptive, but normally an age of at least 16 years would be suggested
here. However, Ravelston-Orr's eye would have been distracted by one far
more obvious feature than Cimrman's age - the fact that he was a
foreigner. Such a terrible disadvantage would surely have been uppermost
in Ravelston-Orr's mind, and may well have blinded him to Cimrman's
youth.
Transvestism
This author recognises that there is a fundamental difference between
involuntary and deliberate transvestism, but that no distinction between
these is implicit in his use of the word in reporting on Ravelston-Orr's
writings.
Putative Conan Doyle
This question, I think, serves to illustrate the truth of the old adage:
"those who can, do; those who can't, teach." Cimrman may not have
succeeded in writing detective fiction, but he certainly seems to have
known how to do it, judging by his advice to the young paper boy.
Interestingly, the names of some of Conan Doyle's characters in his
Sherlock Holmes stories are the same as those of some people in
Ravelston-Orr's household. Could it also be that, if this lad was Conan
Doyle, Ravelston-Orr was the model for Watson and Cimrman himself the
model for Holmes?
Bloodlines and Holy Grails
If Cimrman was aware of the matters alluded to by Ravelston-Orr, he
would have had very particular views on authority and on the legitimacy
of rulers. It is likely that he would have disapproved of royal houses
that were not of the appropriate descent i.e., those that did not stem
from the holy bloodline. He would have approved of those families that
could trace their history back to the Merovingian Franks and who played
a key roll in the Crusades, but he would have seen as usurpers any royal
house that did not have such a pedigree. British royalty (then as now,
the House of Saxe-Coburg Gotha) would have met with his disapproval, as
they had supplanted the House of Stewart. Similarly, many royal
households of Central and Eastern Europe would have been seen by him as
illegitimate. It is suggested here that Cimrmanologists should review
his known subversive activities, and assess whether the above contention
is applicable.
In Flagrante Delicto
Ravelston-Orr fails to record one important detail - what was the
flagrant act in question? Obviously, an act involving two people of
opposite sex and a deal of noise does suggest copulation. Mrs Hudson is
likely to have been a 44-year-old childless widow, who may well have had
desires born of both frustration and a strong mothering instinct. She
may well also have had something of an Ellouise Complex, resulting in
strong attractions for men of obvious intellectual capability. The
interruption of what may have been Cimrman's first sexual experience
would certainly have had a detrimental effect on his confidence.
However, it is not inevitable that the act in question was a sexual one.
For Mrs Hudson to be dismissed, a severe breach of decorum would have
had to have been committed. This could have been a criminal act. Had Mrs
Hudson, fired by years of resentment at her lowly position in life,
enticed a naive Cimrman into assisting her in committing theft? The act
took place in a sitting room, not a bedroom. A sitting room in such a
house would have been heavily adorned with valuable, and highly
portable, objects. It would have been easy for the resentful, or the
innocent, to succumb to temptation.
One should also remember that Cimrman had discovered alcohol, and may
have been under the influence at the time. Maybe even Mrs Hudson was
too.
Scotland
In conclusion, I would like to remind you that all the events I have
reported on took place in Scotland. This is a small, wind-swept land
that finds itself perpetually locked in a difficult marriage with its
much larger southern neighbour. It is often rumoured that Scotland's
inhabitants are a mean-spirited, miserly bunch with a grim outlook that
befits such a grim land. I wish to place on record that such rumours are
quite scurrilous and slanderous. On the contrary, Scotsmen are a very
hospitable and generous crowd, and I wish to demonstrate this by
inviting you to come and stay at my home. which you will find very
palatial and relaxing, and well worth the charge of Ł200 per day
(breakfast not included). Book early, deposit required, no refunds. :-)
May the skirl of the pipes gladden your heart, may the whisky warm your
soul, and may life forever fatten your wallet. All the best from the
Celtic Wasteland.
Arthur Laurie
Scotland
alawrie@scotborders.gov.uk
29th Sept. 1999