Go to listserv.cesnet.cz LWGate Home Page.From: Pavel Cerny <cerny@UTIA.CAS.CZ>
Subject: Schubert's Unfinished
Date: Tue, 30 May 1995 23:01:19 METDST
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Vazeni kolegove,
text nize opsany urcite nepatri do tohoto listu. Presto jsem
si nedokazal odeprit to poteseni jej sem poslat pro pobaveni a treba
i pro zamysleni.
Pavel Cerny
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SCHUBERT'S UNFINISHED SYMPHONY
A Company Chairman was given a ticket for a performance of Schubert's
Unfinished Symphony. Being unable to go, he passed the invitation to
the Company's Work Study Consultant. The next morning, the Chairman
asked him how he had enjoyed it, and, instead of a few plausible ob-
servations, he was handed a _memorandum_ which read as follows:
a) For considerable periods, the oboe players had nothing to do.
The number should be reduced and their work spread over the whole
orchestra, thus eliminating peaks of inactivity.
b) All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems un-
necessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be
drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required,
this should be obtained through the use of an amplifier.
c) Much effort was absorbed in the playing of demisemiquavers. This
seems an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all
notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. If this
were done, it should be possible to use trainees and low grade
operators.
d) No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage
that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redun-
dant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from
two hours to twenty minutes.
In the light of the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert
given attention to these matters, he would probably have had time
to finish his Symphony.
A Work Study of similar symphonies according to these suggestions
would permit various concerts each evening. Each second concert hall
in the town would thus be free for other purposes. The resulting
energy saving would be an important secondary effect.
(-: :-)
--
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