Go to listserv.cesnet.cz LWGate Home Page.From: novotnyp@TROJA.FJFI.CVUT.CZ
Subject: Humor: Windows bashing
Date: Fri, 20 Oct 1995 00:25:50 +0000
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Tohle jsem nasel na siti. Vyzyvam vsechny, kteri si nechteji delat
legraci z Microsoftu nebo je to nezajima, at tuto postu smazou...
Petr Novotny
Date: Mon, 16 Oct 1995 13:11:20 +0600
From: Randall Woodman <randallw@ADSS.ESY.COM>
Subject: Humor: If Microsoft Built Cars <Micro$oft Bashing>
The Top-n ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars.
(drumroll,please...)
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER
that year,instead of before.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you'd have
to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept
this.
4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you
bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a
sec, it's that way NOW!
6. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice
as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced
with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft
cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other
brands for years.
9. We would still be waiting on the "6000 sux 58'" model to come
out.
10. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).
11. Lee Iacocca would be hired-on as Bill G.'s chauffeur.
12. The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker,
instead of giving them.
13. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.
14. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining
because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=} Randall {=- With code like Microsoft's, who needs viruses???
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