Usmev na Internetu...

Sat Jan 6 14:53:47 CET 1996

Nasel jsem docela zajimavy zdroj, da se pouzit i na uceni
anglictiny. Na ilustraci prikladam 1 prispevek.

********************************************************************
**********
        Be sure to visit LaughWEB (http://www.misty.com/laughweb/)
********************************************************************
**********

*File Description: You Know You're Too Serious About Computers
When...*

       YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS...

   If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
   When your modem starts smoking.
   If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always
online.
   If you log-off your system because it's time to go to work.
   If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.
   If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart.
   If you can locate a particular home page without using a search
engine.
   If you can write your own html page.
   If you can access more than 20 erotic no-pay sites.
   If you download more than 20Mb of from a binary newsgroup, in one
      session.
   If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a
better look
      at a photograph.
   You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be
      enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.
   If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers
on
      the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW
addresses.
   When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for
      File/Save command.
   When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward
arrow on
      the dashboard of your car, to make it go.
   When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your system
      administrator.
   When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service
      Weather/your_town/now.html  than to simply look out the
window.
   When you start using phrases like:
       Hungry.must-eat.food.now at home
   If you have a heart attack when you forgot to pay your phone bill
and
       receive a "pending disconnection of service" notice.
   When you order most of what you buy... online.
   If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36
hours.
   When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually
      met; except through e-mail.
   When you log-off from a session in your favorite newsgroup... and
      your log reads:  Online time: 56 hours 24 minutes.
   If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because
you're
      exceeding 300 hours a month, connect time.
   When you add your third modem and dedicated phone line.
   You access Microsoft's Web page every Sunday morning for Brother
      Bill's sermon.
   When that 112Gb hard drive is full.
   If 133 Mhz is simply too slow.
   When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer
      peripherals.
   If you have an "online" light installed on your car to tell you
when the
      engine is running.
   When you discover that in order to drive your car somewhere, you
do
      not enter an  http://  or  ftp://  address.
   If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car - and
      understand what they say.
   When you modify the programming of your car's computers and
      actually get better mileage.
   When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular
phone.
   If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular
phone
      in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and
redirect
      it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.
   If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.
   When you put a CD-ROM in your car's player.
   When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very
      disappointed to find it's on TV.
   If every sentence you utter begins with, "On the Net..."
   If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of
      envelopes.
   If you have your e-mail address printed on your stationary.
   When you insist on seeing the movie "The Net" - for the 63rd
time.
   If magazines like "InternetWorld" are of greater interest than
      "Playboy" or "Playgirl".
   If you maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses.
   If you use more than 20 passwords.
   If you set up your own Web page.
   If you set up a Web page for each of your kids... and your pets.
   If, instead of a phone number, you ask someone for their e-mail
      address.
   If you don't know anyone who DOESN'T have an e-mail addresses.
   If, to you, 'safe sex' means doing it online.
   If you convince your mom that she HAS to get online because
e-mail
      is so much cheaper than long distance phone charges.
   If you can write a list like this.
   If you can relate to a list like this.

(c) JOKEMASTER, 1995

********************************************************************
**********
LAUGH OF THE DAY - A service of LaughWEB
(http://www.misty.com/laughweb/).

To unsubscribe, send e-mail to majordomo at world.std.com, with text:
     unsubscribe lotd email_address
Where "email_address" is the address you used when you subscribed to
lotd.

For more information about Laugh Of The Day or LaughWEB, send email
to:
     joeshmoe at world.std.com
with a SUBJECT header of:
     info laugh

To subscribe to lotd, point your web browser to:
     http://world.std.com/~joeshmoe/laughweb/lotd_subscribe.html

The URL of today's laugh:

http://www.misty.com/laughweb/computer/you.know.youre.too.serious.ab
out.computers.when
********************************************************************
**********
Warning - Material contained in this document might be considered
offensive.
Please read our disclaimer:
     http://www.misty.com/laughweb/laughweb.disclaimer.txt
********************************************************************

Z. Podrasky
PUDIS
Nad vodovodem 2/169
100 00 Prague 10
Czech republic